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Sleep

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Original poster

pick up put down method...HELP!

44 replies

brian2 · 30/03/2006 12:58

have made the decision to get tough and sleep train my 10 months ds who has never slept for more than 3 hours in a run, breast feeds to get to sleep and has always slept with me. Ex dp is here for three enights to help (although he says it is entirely my fault that ds does not sleep... hhmm maybe he is right). last night i fed ds to sleep at 7:30 (usual bedtime) put him in his cot (first time in about four months he has been in the cot) and from then on ex dp would cradle him everytime he woke up (roughly every hour)and then put him back down, if he tried to do the pick up put down method of just a quick comfort then put down we had screaming hysterics within seconds. Can anyone properly explain the pick up put down method... do you pick up until they stop crying and then put down and pick up straight away if he cries immediately???? am a bit confused by it all really,am not happy to do controlled crying as it is so upsetting and feel that for a baby that has been breast fed next to his mother on demand usually 2-3 hourly for the last 10 months would find it tooo much of a shock. thanks for any advise, i am physically and emotionlly exhausted so know i need to do something.... not easy though is it!!!

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Original poster

brian2 · 01/04/2006 13:04

fazza, ds took 40 mins to settle last night, then woke up twice more before 12mn but only took 15 mins to settle each time. For the first time EVER he slept for six straight hours, i heard him grumble i few times but he seemed to settle himself again (he has never done that before with out me present either)at 6:30 he woke up i fed him and he fell back to sleep for another hour. Yes i think i would say it is worth a go and although it is not easy (most of the crying was definately the mum i am cross with you sort rather than real distress) it was so nice to see him in his cot looking peaceful and he has woken up in a wonderful mood this morning...... that said it is still early days, maybe he was just exhausted! I was convinced this would not work for us as he has been such a dreadful sleeper for so long that i just thought it would be to much to expect of him but he has proved so far to be a little star.Ask me again in a week!

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Original poster

brian2 · 01/04/2006 13:07

ps have just been to boots and spend £20 on 'pamper me' type products as i have not had the chance to sit in the bath relax since he was born. I keep looking at the lovely bottles of bubble bath,foot scrub and exfoliator and that is going to be my motivation to getting him to sleep on his own in the cot!
I can spend a whole evening on me!!!!!!

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PinkTulips · 01/04/2006 13:25

good for you brian2, it's a great feeling isn't it? for us it was being able to go up and down the stairs to the bathroom at night without missy hearing us and wanting to be up! the things we put up with!

fazza, like i said to brian2 at the beginning of this thread, we tried all the gentle methods with our dd too and none worked. the week before giving in and doing the cc we tried the ferber method of leaving her for progressively longer each time before going in to soothe her. the first night it was 45 mins before she went down and we thought 'great!', she still got into our bed in the night though, the next night it was 3 hours and she was awake again after 20 mins, the third night she never went to sleep, i eventually just took her to bed with me at 4am and even then she cried for a while. going in to her while she was still wake just seemed to enrage her. these methods are great for some kids, but for babies like mine they just make things worse and i had to do the cc. it only took 1 1/2 hours on the 1st night, 40 mins the second and she went straight to sleep the 3rd.

don't do it unless you've really reached breaking point and will definitely see it through though as it is heartbreaking.

HayleyOliversMum · 02/04/2006 21:45

Thanks for the advice...I'd love to cuddle him to sleep (infact...just did!) but I'm scared that I'm setting myself up for problems later. I guess I shouldn't worry too much about later and just enjoy now. There is nothing like the feeling when they are zonked out and start to weigh a ton in your arms! Good luck all!

mugibas · 20/11/2007 14:53

hai,i am new here,I tried the cc method on my 8 month old baby for 2 days and she screamed soooooo much that she ended up with sore throat.She slept alright but due to exhaustion and kept on waking up.I really couldnt take that shouting so i tried the pu/pd technique and what do u know it worked by day 2.She sleeps happy and for longer time. i guess different babies are different

monkeyboysmum766 · 22/11/2007 19:17

I tried pick up put down with my 17 month old (was a great sleeper til he had recurrent ear infections for the past 6 weeks). Pick up put dowm irritated him to the point that he had the worst tantrum he's ever had and somehow managed to fling himself head first over the bars of his cot. I caught him luckily! Never again for that method for me. Each to thier own though.

33kjs · 27/11/2007 19:00

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33kjs · 27/11/2007 19:36

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MaeBee · 27/11/2007 19:41

33kjs - we did pupd with our boy, but the situation with his sleep was much worse, he was waking hourly. it sounds to me as if you are quite happy really with your lo's sleep and only feel you "should" sleep train him?
how old is yours? mine was 8 mths when we did it.

33kjs · 27/11/2007 19:55

This reply has been deleted

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fizzbuzz · 27/11/2007 21:40

I did this with dd who was a bit older at 14 months, but it did work.

It is slightly different with an older one, in that you don't actually have to pick them up, but just lay them back down.

Dd had been a nightmare, awake practically every 2 hours with long spells of screaming.

It took 2 weeks to change her behaviour and another week for her to sleep better. We often felt like giving up, but it did work.

I found it no more tiring than being awake with her all night.

She also naps much better in the day now

MaeBee · 28/11/2007 09:06

it did get better quite quickly for us, but its apparantly quite common to have a worse before it improves period. its not as quick fix - or, hopefully, as painful - as controlled crying.
we picked up and comforted until he was calm again.then put him back in cot. we never left him to cry for any period of time,but would always go straight to him, even if that just meant to the door and back again. there wasn't ever a chance for him to get hysterical.
it worked wonders for us. boy now sleeps through most nights, but we still always go to him if he cries out in the night, always calm him (usually a stroke on the back does the trick but sometimes he wants a full pick up cuddle. i never refuse comforting him.)
check www.babywhisperer.co.uk (or is it com?) for more tips.
good luck!

fizzbuzz · 28/11/2007 21:08

Maebee was the turning point in me trying it out. She posted on one of my desperate threads and she was a big help. She speaks wisdom believe me.

They cry but never get really hysterical, and it is much much less traumatic than cc which I tried once and NEVER EVER again

33kjs · 28/11/2007 21:46

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Rebekah9 · 12/01/2009 09:56

Hi there,

Can you please tell me with the PU/PD method, do you PD and walk away? I tried last night and my little boy slowly got hysterical so gave up after 20 mins. Should you PU straight away, comfort till they stop crying and then immediatly PD?

How long did it take to go to sleep?

Thx, Becks

VeryHungryKatypillar · 12/01/2009 13:47

How old is your LO Rebekah?

With PU/PD the idea is that you first try to comfort them (and stop them crying) with your voice and perhaps a hand on their tummies. IF they continue to cry, you would then pick up and hold them until they stop crying. No rocking as such, perhaps patting their bum or back and saying words like 'time to go to sleep LO'. Literally AS SOON AS THEY STOP CRYING you must put them down. If they start crying once down, repeat, repeat, repeat. My DD has cot radar and when we first started to do this, she would cry before she reached the mattres... if this happens you must put them down and remove contact before picking them back up again. If baby is fighting, burrowing into your body or arching back, put them down straight away and keep contact with them by putting hand on their tummy.

This is a short version of what you must do... it is worthwhile reading the Baby Whisperer book on this as she goes into more detail. The techniques are slightly different, depending on the age of your LO.

With DD (8.5 mo at time) it took three nights. She was very upset about it on the first two nights, but didn't cry for longer than 40 mins. Now I can put her down and she will go to sleep on her own and is sleeping well at night too.

If you decide to carry on with PU/PD you need to be committed to it and not give in, and this can be very tough... but it will work, I promise.

Rebekah9 · 12/01/2009 14:34

My LO is 18 weeks old. If I read his tired signs he does normally go down quite well but then at other times needs alot of shushing/patting/dummy. I want to wean him off the dummy at the same time as doing PU/PD - is this recommended to do at the same time? I dreamfeed him at 11pm ish and then he wakes between 3-5am for a feed, I have managed to get this down to 4 oz but would love to eliminate it as he then isn't hungery for his morning feed.

I will read the BW and start tonight! Any tips anyone has would be very gratefully received.
x

Rebekah9 · 12/01/2009 16:05

I will read the BW and start tonight! Any tips anyone has would be very gratefully received.
x

Ralford0 · 30/11/2016 13:43

Hi there, I was wondering if any mums could help answer some questions I have on the pick up / put down method of sleep training.

My LG is 5 months next week and has always been nursed to sleep for most naps (or sleeps in pushchair) and for all nighttime sleep.

There was a stage when I was able to put her down in the cot half awake but only on a rare occasion since the 4 month regression hit.

Nursing to sleep is becoming problematic as she's unable to settle herself back to sleep at night and during naps, it's making her very gassy, effects sleep when teething and is solely dependant on me for sleep/naps.

I'm currently letting her nap on me for a 1.5-2hr mid afternoon nap to make sure she's getting the sleep she needs, but am realising this needs to change before I go back to work and to get stuff done around the house!

So my questions are...

I've heard not to try this method when baby is overtired but surely she'd become overtired by resisting sleep due to putting her down? What do I do if she fights sleep, misses her sleepy window and becomes more awake?

Should I put her down awake for bedtime, after a feed during the night and all naps? Or shall I just start with bedtime?
I've heard nighttime sleep and daytime sleep is very different so will I need to follow the same process 3/4 times a day?

How sleepy should she be or how much time should I given between her feeding and putting her down?

Should I avoid trying it at any particular times e.g. When teething , during a nap transition or when I have any evening plans?

Sorry for the extremely long post! It's just I've been feeling unsure about the pick up put down approach or any sort of sleep training so any advice and insights would be appreciated very much!

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