Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

AIBU to not want my toddler to nap at 4pm?

56 replies

applejuice2012 · 22/10/2012 15:39

My nearly 3 year old wakes up between 5.30am and 6.30am full of beans. She will not nap after lunch and hasn't for about a year. Even if I drive in the car for 1 hour (yes I have done it when desperate!!) she will not fall asleep. Then at 4pm she is exhausted and wants to sleep. If I let her sleep I then cannot wake her up or she screams and falls back to sleep. She will sleep until 7pm and then will not go to bed until midnight and will then wake up at 6am as usual. If I don't let her sleep at 4pm (which is possible by giving her a bath, playing outside etc) She will fall asleep between 6pm and 7.30pm and sleep until about midnight and then wake us up in the night and sleep in our bed until about 6am kicking us all night and waking up everytime she has a dream to tell me about it. She is a very light sleeper and if we put her back in her room she will spend all night chasing us back into our room. I am soooo tired as I work evenings (8pm-11pm) so do not get to bed until midnight. My DD has sooo much energy in the day she just keeps going and going and has no down time she is very intelligent and talks non stop which is great I suppose but she is wearing me out. I cannot answer the 200 whys a day and play chase over and over again I am exhuasted. She just had her check up with the health visitor (2.5 year check) and she suggested a nap after lunch as she may be overtired hence the super energy levels she appears to have, but I just cannot get her to go to sleep at that time a day no matter what I do. Can anyone help me? I am exhausted.

Also I am starting to use the TV as a crutch as I am so tired but the health visitor said that could be stimulating her more, what on earth can I do with her when she wakes up at 5.30am in the morning instead of letting her watch TV, does anyone have ideas of what to do at that time of morning?

OP posts:
forevergreek · 22/10/2012 18:13

I would wait until 7am earliest before getting up with her

Any time before that needs to be super boring to make her not want to get up. So at most you join her in her room whilst she plays/ reads to herself in dim light. And Over time ideally this will change to she can get up and play/ read quietly but by herself.

Maybe get a gro clock - they have a sun/ moon light which comes on when is day/ night.

I would then at 7am maybe read her a story for playing so nicely in her room/ get you both changed and head down to breakfast. ( now more like 7.45/8 when your finished). Only when everyone's ready/ up at an appropriate time can tv go on ( if you want)

I also believe sleep breeds sleep so would really try for 1pm nap.
Can you do lunch as soon as home from nursery then quiet time/ curtains drawn in bedroom etc until 1/1.30 and try putting down for a nap?

Does she walk to and from nursery?

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 22/10/2012 18:18

The other thing that we found really useful was the radio station fun kids, it has childrens songs and stories then about 1pm switches to classical music for an hour so he knew once the music changed it was nap/rest time then when the music and stories came back on it was time to get up again, he was far more likely to listen to the random stranger on the radio telling him it was nap time than me or mummy

Original poster
applejuice2012 · 23/10/2012 13:25

Well she got up at 5.30am this morning and I set my alarm for 7am (which is when I would prefer to get up!!) I kept the lights off and just said it is still night time. She spent from 5.30am until 7am bouncing on our bed and talking to herself (and us but we didnt answer!). Not ideal but at least I got to stay in bed! I liked this idea of making it super boring for her, it would be nice if in time she would get so bored she would go back to sleep!! Then I got up at 7am and we had breakfast and then she pottered about while I got ready and I did not put any TV on and she accepted it much better than I thought (I told her that mickey mouse had decided to stay in bed in the mornings and only come on after lunch!!) I picked her up from nursery at 12 and she was still lively, we had lunch and I have now decided after lunch can be tv time. I have put a duvet on the sofa and she is watching disney channel now. I am not sure how long for this quiet time to last if she doesn't fall asleep? 1 hour? 2 hours? How long is a quiet time usually? I am thinking about reading some books after the tv like in the routine provided very kindly by smilingthroughgrittedteeth. I am feeling shattered as I woke up feeling unwell in the night and have only had 4 hours broken sleep, but I will keep going with the new changes to see if she will sleep better at night!!

OP posts:
cutegorilla · 23/10/2012 13:35

I would start off with 1 hour and see how it goes. Good luck. DS1 was an early waker and I know I was like a zombie but it did get better. He's still often up by 6.30am, I think it's just the way he's wired, but that's a lot better than 5am!

cutegorilla · 23/10/2012 13:35

Oh and try and get some rest while she's having her quiet time too.

Original poster
applejuice2012 · 23/10/2012 13:37

Thanks, I hope it gets better! I am just having a browse on the internet while she watches tv, I am hoping she will fall asleep so I can go to sleep too but her eyes are still wide awake!!

OP posts:
forevergreek · 23/10/2012 13:57

That sounds like a good plan. She might not have been bored today as is all new etc, but by the end of the week you may be surprised.

Try praising her lots for doing something well. Like ' well done for having nap/ quiet time, now that means we have energy for fun things like the park.' blah blah

naughtymummy · 23/10/2012 14:13

OMG I sympathise ds was like this ! Suggestions for early morning activities;
They generally have best concentration so we used to do craft (halloween/xmas decs). Also was a good time of day for baking (then arrive at play group with hm cookies).

Getting them to stay in bed is obviously better, but I never had much luck with that. Ds is now 8 and sleeps 9:30pm-6:30 am, never needs to be woken. Some kids just don't need much sleep (sob)

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 23/10/2012 14:28

Agree 1 hour of quiet time is enough, followed by half an hour of a calm activity, such as reading or drawing.

I also agree with forevergreek she may not have been bored today but if your consistent she will eventually decide mummy is boring in the mornings, ideally you need to persuade her to stay in her room where all the fun (quiet) toys are.

My charges know that they aren't allowed to leave their bedrooms until mummy, daddy or I say they can in the morning unless they need the toilet but they are allowed to read or play quietly in their rooms, sticker charts worked well at encouraging this and has been the rule since they were about 3.

Obviously its rare that I'm there before they are allowed out but my bossess say that it works well, they can hear them playing but they are still able to doze until the alarm goes off. Do make sure all noisy toys are taken out of the room though.

naughtymummy · 23/10/2012 14:40

Ok I am the only fool who made cookies with my 2yo at 545 then

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 23/10/2012 14:47

No naughtymummy your not my boss used to bake bread at 4.30am with youngest!

She works a longer week than I do and was exhausted (she's a doctor so exhausted wasn't good)

naughtymummy · 23/10/2012 14:59

Must be something about doctors then :)

naughtymummy · 23/10/2012 15:00

Actually maybe I was your boss

forevergreek · 23/10/2012 15:57

Haha no I don't get up before 7 unless working or someone's dying! No cookies at that hour I'm afraid

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 23/10/2012 17:35

Maybe naughtymummy if you are then how come I never got any of those cookies Grin

Original poster
applejuice2012 · 23/10/2012 19:13

Well she stayed awake through quiet time and by the end of quiet time was bouncing up and down on the sofa. We then red stories and had a snack, prepared dinner, went to pick DP up from work in the car, drove home, had dinner, got pjs on, and she is still going.....

I put her to bed at 7.00pm, she is sitting in bed now saying to her teddy 'but its not bedtime im not tired'. What am I doing wrong?? Do I have a superhuman child? She has been awake for nearly 14 hours and counting.....

I have to go to work in 30 minutes :(

OP posts:
naughtymummy · 23/10/2012 19:24

If I was being critical, I would say she needed some fresh air and exercise this pm, after the snack. Reading and then going for a drive is unlikely to make her tired enough to sleep at 7

Original poster
applejuice2012 · 23/10/2012 19:32

But she had been awake since 5.30am and had been at nursery all morning and not had a nap all day, surely being awake for 14 hours should be enough for her to be tired? 5.30am until 7.00pm seems like a long stretch for a nearly 3 year old to me. She plays outside at nursery each day too.

OP posts:
Original poster
applejuice2012 · 23/10/2012 19:35

wow, just had a peep after typing that and she is finally asleep!!! Shame I have to be at work in 30 minutes :(

Surely 10 hours sleep a night is not enough for a nearly 3 year old? Or is it??

OP posts:
Original poster
applejuice2012 · 23/10/2012 19:36

Oh well off to get ready for work now and take some more cold and flu tablets, I will see what time she wakes up tomorrow!

OP posts:
SuiGeneris · 23/10/2012 19:43

Do try going out, even if it is just running after a ball. It will do both of you good. I need to push myself some days, but you do feel better for it...

naughtymummy · 23/10/2012 19:54

At the same age my ds would sleep for 10.5 hrs at night (7.45-6.15) if I was lucky and ran him absolutely ragged. (play group/swimming in the morning then park or soft play in the afternoon.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 23/10/2012 20:18

10hrs a night for a 3 year old is fine.

She does need to do something physical in the afternoon after quiet time, even 5mins is enough to recharge her batteries so she needs to burn off some energy, even if its just playing in the garden.

I would try starting with 30mins of quiet time followed by stories and gradually increase the time to an hour, she needs to learn that quiet time is exactly that quiet so jumping on the sofa is not appropriate but since she isn't used to it start with a short amount of time.

As long as she is in bed at 7pm does it matter if she is sitting talking to her teddy or even looking at books? As long as she isn't getting up or being noisy I would just leave her to it.

naughtymummy · 23/10/2012 21:12

Having a nightmare getting ds to settle tonight. He has been home with a cough all day. No fresh air or exercise. So even though he is not well. He doesn't feel tired enough to sleep. (He is going to school tommorow)

Original poster
applejuice2012 · 26/10/2012 13:37

Ttwo more mornings of waking up at 5.30am. But had a strange breakthrough today, after nursery yesterday, we did NOTHING, no going outside, no going to softplay, DD just toddled about playing and watched some TV, we had a lovely peaceful day and DD fell asleep within 1 minute last night, and slept 12 and a half hours until 7.30am this morning!! I told my MIL and she said energy makes energy, she is probably over tired from doing nursery and so many activites, she just needs to be at home pottering around. It could be a one off but I am trying another quite day today. She also seems a lot calmer since yesterday so maybe she was overtired from doing too much (and there was me trying to wear her out more and more and probably getting her more hyper from doing too much and getting too!).

OP posts: