if you always breastfed your baby to sleep at night, when did they learn to fall asleep by themselves?

[GEM33]

Ive heard lots of people say, whats wrong with letting your baby fall asleep at the boob if thats what gives them comfort....

if you continue to feed them to sleep.. and you let them self wean...exactly how and when does the child learn to fall asleep by themselves with no sleep training at all?

has anyone done this?

Good question! My one year old feeds to sleep so I shall watch for replies with great interest.

Also watching with interest

when they stopped breastfeeding, at 2.2 and 2.3. Although they still don't fall asleep 'by themselves' as I sit with them until they are asleep.

So, um, never.

This would probably make some peoples' heads explode, but we don't mind.

DD when she self weaned at 18 months (I was pregnant with DS) she wasn't keen on sleeping and still likes a cuddle before bed.

DS loves sleeping (hurrah!) and fell asleep with his dad cuddling him at about 5-6 months and let me cuddle him without BFing about 2 months after that.
He's 19 months now and has fallen asleep without cuddles for about 7-8 months.

He just self weaned a month or two ago as well (am pregnant with DC3!)

Another that stopped feeding to sleep when he stopped breastfeeding at 23 months. He did not self-wean though, I had to wean him because I was 5 months pregnant, there was a lot less milk and my nipples had become too sensitive.
I too sit with him when he falls asleep, but often leave after 5 minutes or so and he's generally asleep within 5 minutes of me leaving. No sleep training at all, no crying.

Forgot to say DD is 3 1/2

Sympathise about the sore pregnancy nipples sui I got through the sheer pillow biting agony of it during both pregnancies only for them both to give up on BFing a month or two later!

At about 9 months he would stay awake through bed time breast feed so just popped him into cot awake and he would self settle and be asleep usually without tears in about 10 minutes. He's 10 months now still breast feeding and sometimes feeds to sleep sometimes self settles. This is the same for naps also although takes longer to fall asleep and I stay with him sshh sshh until he falls asleep. At 3-6 months he had big difficulties falling asleep the boob didn't always work and he would often take an hour to fall asleep. At 6 months it was inconceivable that he would self settle. Naps used to be a nightmare had to be on me, or in car. It's only in last 4-6 weeks thinks have improved.

Huggle how on earth have you managed that? i wish my DD (also 9 mo) would go in to her cot awake without screaming so loud she wakes up next doors kids :/

she is also a bf-to-sleep girl and i can't get her out of it! currently reading the 'no cry sleep solution' so hoping this will help somewhat...

As with everything that involves change and development in children, Di it gradually, when it is the best time for them or the needs of the family.

So with sleeping, first in our bed with us, then in arms, brought into cot layer, then put into cot but held, then in cot and holding hand until asleep, then sitting by the bed, then a bit further away. Always with calm breathing, low lights etc.

Think of how you would teach a child to read, you are teaching them how to sleep alone and it should be one step at a time.

The worst thing to do is be complacent because then they get dependent on a routine and can't cope with change. Routine is good in the whole but not on a micro level. It is equally problematic to make a big sudden change like controlled crying.

Same applies to weaning. Self weaning is a bizarre concept, parents should help their children adapt to change if it benefits the family as a whole. It gives them confidence and makes them feel more secure in themselves. Passing the responsibility of,weaning onto your kids is a cop out I.m.o. but that's another discussion I guess.

DD is 21m now and still breastfed and co sleeping. But she doesn't tend to fall asleep on the boob anymore and I think it stopped around 15m. Now she has both sides then gives me a kiss and asks for daddy who has to sing 'lubbabyes' hahaha! how the tables have turned!

DS was feeding to sleep but would wake several times a night, not through hunger but would want a bf to settle himself. In the end, even the bf did not work as an effective settling technique so I just stopped gradually at 9 months. Although it involved a lot of crying, patting, rocking etc. he never seemed to miss the boob massively and gets better at self settling day by day. I think if I hadn't have decided to stop bf ing, he would be still completely dependent on it now but with less effect. He is now 12 months and I can put him down awake after his bed time bottle and he will self settle. He wakes up less in night, though still a bit of a chore to get back to sleep.

Um... 14 months... Still going...

From about 11 weeks I started gently doing the Pantley Pull Off Method. After a while I ended up putting her in her cot awake and she self-settled.

Ohwhatapalava I don't really know, we've had some long difficult nights to get where we are. From about 6 months once he had been fed and was in his cot I would only pick him up for a cuddle if he was really distressed otherwise i left him the cot but let him know i was there by patting his bum and singing to him. Now I feed him to sleepy ish and he's fine or if wide awake after a feed I play a wind up Winnie the Pooh toy which plays a melodie. I play this constantly until he's asleep, usually doesnt take too long. I think things got easier once we got naps sorted.

Things were so difficult in early days I tried and tried to get him to take a dummy as I thought this may help but he wouldn't take one.

But if he is overtired or poorly then this goes out of the window.