Should I offer feeds?????

[Janmad]

Hi My DD is 11 months and is waking at least twice, sometimes 4 times in the night. She goes to bed around 7/7.30pm I take her in and wait for 5 minutes while she settles then I leave the room. She only drinks half of her bedtime milk, if that some nights. When she does wake I never offer her any milk or water and after some shushing etc she goes back to sleep after a few minutes, but she is now waking up around 5.30/6.00 I then give her milk and she is full of beans, unlike me. Should I offer her something when she wakes? I contemplated leaving her to cry but I just cant do it. Any advice?

my daughter is exactly the same. She has got in to a routine so wakes up a 6.30am every morning. Once she is up she is up so i understang what you are going through especially on a weekend when you could do with that extra bed time. does she sleep through the night? If so i dont think you can have it both ways. I bet many mums out there would rather have a nights sleeps and get up early then the other way round.

She doesnt get up in the night but she wakes and cries out maybe 2/4 times a night and I wondered if I should offer water or milk at these times. I would be glad if she woke a 5.30 if she didnt wake in the night!

I don't think they need milk in the night. You could offer water but maybe she needs to learn to settle back to sleep herself with no shushing from you. How long do you leave her to cry for or do you leap right up?

personally I wouldn't as it will probably make the problem worse and then she'll start to wake expecting milk/attention and won't drop back off to sleep by herself.

I get up as soon as I have heard her! I know this may be a problem I have created my self. But in the middle of the night my brain doesnt think to wait for a moment until she drops back off I just leg it in there. So I suppose she now expects me to come running! I dont think she wants any milk etc. Last night she woke at 4am and really cried, so I go in shush her and sit on the floor next to her cot ntil she is settled. Do I leave her to cry for a few moments before I go in. I am open to all suggestions as I dont want this to continue as this summer I am hoping she will stay with her Nan and Grandad overnight, just the thought of copious wine and a lay inis enough to make me sort this out

Janmad I really would stop going in. If your sure she's not hungry - which at 11months she shouldn't be, then I would leave her. If you can't go cold turkey straight away I would leave her for 5 mins one night, then 10 mins the next etc then build it up.
I also wouldn't sit next to her while she drops back off to sleep - she needs to learn to take herself back off.

Ohh it sounds so brutal soesn't it? We did this with our ds when he first started sleeping through - I thought if he can go one night without a feed then he can always go through. It took one night of crying for a while - then all following nights he has taken himself to sleep within a rew minutes of kissing him goodnight. Once we've kissed him (after a bottle and a bath) thats it we don't go back in.

Occassionally he will wake in the night and usually takes himself back to sleep - we NEVER go in - we do sometimes peek in (without him seeing to check he's not ill or twisted around in his cot).

I read somewhere once that if parents expect their baby to sleep all night they will.

We love ds1 to bits and I think we are very lucky that it only took one night a crying to get him into this routine (I've probably jinxed it now - he'll be up all night!!!!) But we always without fail stick to the bedtime routine.

Hope it begins to get better for you soon. xxx

i agree if you can hear her crying just leave her for a bit and she will let you know if its something drastic she wants attention for. My dd2 sometimes winges in her sleep but i dont go in and she soon goes off. If the crying gets louder i know it may be her teeth or whatever so go in. Stick to this and you will be sipping wine and having a great time on those nights out with a lie in to follow. Bliss !!

Janmad - hows the sleep benn over the weekend?

Not to bad last night. she woke twice, once at 2.30 and again at 5 she finally woke at 7.15 but I think her body clock is out due to clocks going forward! To be honest I have never left her to cry so for all I know she may fall back to sleep after a few minutes. I really want to sort this as she is such a happy baby and this is my only real problem but it is taking its toll on me! I feel so knackered! Shall I put her Noddy in the bed? she loves Noddy and maybe when she wakes and sees him she may feel comforted. At the moment she has no toys in the cot at all.

Also what do you think about leaving a light on at the mo all she has is a little night light. Should I leave the hallway light on maybe??

I think I will start leaving her for a bit tonight I know it will be tough but I cannot carry on like this

Not sure about the lights or the noddy doll - personally I wouldn't do either, I have a 15year old neice who still has to have the hall light on - once you start doing it you'll have to do it forever!.

Leave her to cry tonight - be strong - prepare yourself for a few rough nights and then for fabulous ones after that. It can be done! :)

I decided that last night I would leave her to cry if she woke and she didnt wake once!!!!
I went in around 4 to check and she was squashed up the yop of the cot and I straightened her out but that was it until 7am! DH got up and I had a lie in until 8.30.....bliss!

Great!!! Now you know she can do it!! So that means you can confidently leave her because you know she can go through the night, that she doesn't need a feed and really doesn't need you popping in to see if she's ok!

I suspect some of the checking is really more for you than her

Yes thats true. I am always listening out so give myself a bad night regardless if she doesnt wake as often. A few weeks ago we stopped using the monitor as I jumped up for the smallest of moans....onwards and upwards, fingers crossed!!

Everythings crossed for you! :o