My sympathies, my 2.9 year DS has probably slept through only 6 nights in the last two months. We have tried so many different things, different lighting, different bedding, slight changes to bedtime routine etc ended up co-sleeping ( well he slept), in defeat as he wakes his older sisiter.
He refuses his bed ( although loves to tell everyone about his big boy bed, new bedding etc), screams for up to 1/1.2 hr every night often falling asleep at the door ( he has a stairgate on his room otherwise he's straight in to his sister); this is only after a version of CC / rapid return. Then wakes up middle of night shouting for me for me and our bed or sometimes distressed / night terror.
He's never been a good sleeper and right now he is developing at a rate of knots, dropping his nap ( although I think over-tiredness is playing a part and regularly push/drive him about for a doze), speech leaping foward, talking a lot about potty/ pants ( I am so NOT toilet training now), being frustrated he can't read (ha ha he's 2!)?! It's all going on with him really.
I called in the HV for advice this week, TBH she didn't tell me anything I didn't already know but it was useful to talk it through with someone not so sleep deprived. HV said it's up to you how you handle as a family but really you have to get tough or put up
My DD has been put in our room with Daddy as it's quieter for her ( in secret, as DS must NOT know, and I'm 'sleeping' in her room) and we're doing the tough love route, ( "it;s time for bed" and no eye contact routine) it's night 2, everyone has been woken up at some point and I have been up since 3am, he's not screaming but he's stubbornly refusing sleep and I can't sneak up ito bed without being caught and the shouting starting.
I don't really know what the point of me posting is now ( felt good to get it out though!), I am SO tired, except to say you're not alone and if I find anything that works I'll let you know! He's shouting again...........