the sleep training starts monday, some support please

[allypally1983]

my lo is incredibly overtired from not being able to nap in the day. she has always been rocked to sleep in her moses and she is now too big for that so its in the cot from monday which doesnt rock!! so, im gonna do the reassurance sleep training.i dont want to go down this route as its my fault for not letting her fall asleep on her own but shes so tired and cranky in the day that i feel i have to do something to help her sleep. some encouragement or succes stories would go a long way. no haters please thanks

What is reassurance sleep training?

rather than rocking her to sleep, you put them in their cot/crib and then you have a phrase such as 'its sleepy time now,night night' then you leave them. when they cry you leave them for a short while and then go in and put your hand on them and repeat the phrase and just keep repeating the process. eventually they will be able to fall asleep on their own as they learn the rocking has stopped

What do you think repeating the same phrase will do? As opposed to saying different things or even not saying anything, I mean.

What you have described is called "controlled crying", I would have thought.

My advice is to start sleep training tomorrow, because the first 2 days/nights are the worst.

yes basically it is controlled crying. unfortunately cant start til monday for personal reasons. the phrase replaces the rocking as a sign that sleep time has arrived

You might like to replace it with a song or other signs like darkened room, because I wouldn't be so sure that she would immediately recognize that phrase as the definitive sign of sleep time

How old is the baby? I would try pick-up/put-down if she is under 9 months or so. Hold or rock her until she is drowsy but not asleep and then lay her down - you can ssh-pat (pat her back or bottom while you shush her) in the cot. If she starts to cry pick her up but put her back down the moment she stops crying. It's a bit of a kinder approach than controlled crying with a little baby as you are not leaving them to cry alone.

My youngest was incredibly stubborn and I had to try the controlled crying technique. The only thing I can say is that babies no matter how little they are know when you feel guilty or are unsure about something so be consistent and don't give in.

I also suggest that after the initial putting her down, when you have to go back in don't speak to her just use your hand to reassure her otherwise she will get too used to your voice to settle her down and the whole process will take longer. If you go in and for example pull on her blanket, and stroke her face briefly and then go back out the room, it is not so interesting or stimulating for her and she is more likely to give in and go to sleep. Often the initial crying turns into an angry cry in which hearing your voice would be rewarding to her rather than a comfort if that makes sense. Sorry, I am rambling but it is a bit difficult to put into words.

hope this is of some help - but that method was tried and tested and did work!

How old is she

How old?

Why are you blaming yourself for having a baby that wants rocking to sleep? Sleep is more important than how they get there the first few months or so (even as they're older too) so I'd get them to nap by which ever method works then you can work on self settling once they're in a routine.

I did this with DD. She was asleep within 15 mins. I waited about 1 to 2 minutes before going back into her room, avoiding eye contact is really important. I said as you mentioned "time for sleep sleeps", sat anxiously outside her door for 5 minutes and repeated the process, was planning on going back in to her after a further 8 or 9 minutes but then she started to get quieter and was soon fast asleep.

I waited until she was 6 months old and prior to this fed her to sleep.

She is a fab sleeper and would certainly recommend it. I got quiet a few ideas from a website www.sleepsense.net. You can buy a book but I just read the tips on the website which it really helpful.

Good luck and hope it goes well. Do update us.

thanks bunnysmummy, thats just what i needed to read. will update you

I did this with my DS, waited until he was 6mo to do it. I made sure I did really clear routine things to indicate it was bedtime/naptime: changing nappy, reading books, singing the same lullaby and putting him in his cot awake saying "It's naptime now, night night sleep well/It's bedtime now...etc

Then I would go back into his room and say the same phrase each time: "It's sleepy time now, lie down, go to sleep" I made sure I said it in a calm, gentle but firm tone IYSWIM.

For naps this worked in two days, with amazng progress on naps from day three onwards. Nighttime sleep was about the same but the second night was AWFUL!

Got my tips off an Australian website thesleepstore.co.nz

Good luck, no hate from me. I had to do something and this worked, he now naps and sleeps well at night whereas before he was incredibly sleep deprived and so was I.