2yo staying up late - help?

[GalaxyDefender]

My DS is driving me mad. His sleep is all over the place.

Three days ago, he tried to skip his nap. Was so tired he conked out at 5PM, woke up after an hour, then proceeded to stay awake and active until he burned out at 10PM.
Day before yesterday, he napped as usual (only let him have an hour and a half now, if I let him he'd sleep for up to three) but still didn't go to bed until 10PM.
Yesterday was even worse - he stayed up all day, but STILL didn't go to bed until 11PM.
He's waking at about 8-9AM, so he was up for over 12 hours straight yesterday!

He also won't go to bed - he usually just keeps going until he crashes on the sofa or the floor. It's also a struggle to get him to stay in his own bed, as he usually comes into mine about halfway through the night. We have the best routine I can manage (bath, small bottle, story, quiet time in bedroom) but realistically he does what he wants most of the time!

How can I get my evenings back? I do as much as I can to wear him out during the day but he seems to have boundless energy and will just keep going and going long after I've run out of puff. I really need that time to myself, it's the only chance I get

Hi, does he normally have a nap regularly?

If he does I would cut it back a little say 15 mins. You could also try getting him up everyday at the same time to start his body clock ready for sleeping at the same time every day? And hopefully a more reasonable bed time.

I know when my ds gets really tired he goes into overdrive madness of running around the house!

Well see, that's part of the problem, he's not a regular sleeper anymore. Up until he turned two pretty much (so about three months ago now) he was a great sleeper. Then he decided to resist the hell out of naps, so sometimes he has one, sometimes he doesn't. He naps better when DP isn't here, weirdly but that's not something I can schedule unless I kick DP out of the house for hours!

Today he woke up at almost 9, ran around after his daily walk until he crashed at about 3, napped on and off until almost 5. I'm probably just going to have to bite the bullet and cut his naps down to an hour. His little bleary face when I wake him up is so sad though!

what about waking him 15mins earlier every few days, until he's getting up at say 7am instead of 8 or 9. That way, you should be able to get him down for a nap at around 1pm & he can still have a decent length eg 1-2hrs & be in bed for say 8-8.30pm. If he gets up at 9 & naps at 3 there's no wonder he's not ready for bed til 10-11pm iyswim?

I tried cutting my just turned 2yo DS's nap to 1hr but it just ended with him getting exhausted. So the above is exactly what we do. he is in bed by 8pm & falls asleep anywhere from 8-8.30. If for any reason he sleeps in past 8am I would do no nap but an earlier bedtime, no later than 11hrs from when he wakes. I find if I keep him up til usual BT he ends up overtired & more difficult to put to sleep.

My ds is 2.3 and he has napped everyday since 6 months and we got him on a great routine. We used to go to bed at 9pm and get up at 9am but starting the new routine we started the day at 7 even tho he went to bed at 9 he was tired but we got thru it.

I agree with omama getting him up earlier each morning will help and its a good place to start.

At that age you can't let them sleep any later than 1pm and they should be up 3 at the absolute lastest (even 2.30pm really). On the days he skips his nap keep him up and put him to bed at 6 or even 5.30 (start dinner bedtime routine earlier) and he should sleep through and make up the time providing the room is blacked out etc. My DD did exactly the same and completely dropped her naps at about 2 and 1/2. She was then going to bed at 5.30 - 6 every night and waking up around 7.30am so basically having the nap time during her main sleep. Good luck :)

I would love to keep him awake when he skips - but it's not possible! He just zonks out and does not respond to any form of trying to wake him up
Oh well, still trying anyway. Thanks for your advice, ladies.

I'd get him up earlier, say at 7am every morning. Know this may feel like a killer but if he's doing 12 hour days I would personally much prefer to get up a bit earlier and have the evenings free with DH or to go out.

Also agree that the latest he should be napping is 1pm and not for more than 2 sleep cycles of 45mins.

I'd try getting him up at 7 tomorrow, dressing him and taking him straight outside to help to reset his body clock. Come in, give him his breakfast and go straight out again. It can be anything that tires him out, playgroup, park, swimming even taking him to your local nct group where you can chat to the other mums and he can play will wear him out.

Bring him back at lunchtime, feed him and stick him in bed, if he is refusing can you nap with him for a while?

Then at 6pm start the bedtime routine. We do bath books bed but you might want to add some baby massage in there to help him wind down.

As for him getting up in the night, you've just got to decide if you want him in your bed or you want to stay in his bed. Perhaps you could tackle this one after the naps crisis? If you want him in your bed just keep returning him each time he turns up. He'll get the message eventually.

Thought you might like 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep and refusing naps.

HTH

If you want him in your bed just keep returning him each time he turns up. He'll get the message eventually.

If you want him in his bed, not your bed .

Wow, Jilted! Lots of advice, thankyou.

Unfortunately, we live in the back of beyond and don't drive, so going anywhere is both expensive and time-consuming. I take DS for a half hour/hour walk around the village every morning, am going to push that back to 10 so we get back earlier. The only days we "do" anything are Tuesdays (visit to my parents), Fridays (playgroup and visit to PILs) and Sundays (only family swimming session available). There's literally nothing else to do here, except a tiny playpark, no big running around space which is really what he needs

We're starting the putting back in bed tonight. I'm not getting much sleep anyway due to kitten nibbling my toes when she wakes up

its a shame that you don't have much on offer. Do you ever meet up with some of the other Mums from Playgroup? Sometimes just having another child around can wear them out.

Hah, not really. Playgroup is a 3/4 hour bus journey away, and most of the mums live there. I can't afford to bus it more than once a week as it costs a fiver (the actual journey costs more than a £5 day ticket, so if they cotton on it could end up being more) and I'm not going to make someone else make the trip either.

Tbh I don't do things like meetups and playdates, though it makes me feel bad for DS that it's so difficult (whole other thread!). Just taking him out every day and being spoken to by everyone in the village is bad enough!

I really have to hope we can find a new place soon, but it's not likely to happen It would solve so many of my problems, including his sleeping!

Good god Galaxy you really must be in the middle of nowhere! How's his sleeping now?

I'd live somewhere else if I could!

Last night was a disaster. Got up and put him back in bed and he got straight back up and went to his dad instead. Put back twice more, he ended up in bed with me this morning and I have NO memory of him getting there.

As a result, I'm letting him have a longer nap today, because he's horribly grumpy. It's a nightmare, but we'll just have to keep persevering. Going to try putting up the fold-away bed in DSs room tonight and see if sleeping next to him helps him calm down. I don't know why he hates being in his room so much