Moving 11 month old co-sleeper to cot without CC

[Skang]

Im trying to get my nearly 11 month old cosleeping DD to sleep in her cot, even if it's only for the evening and comes into our bed later. At the moment she sleeps in a sling with her dad in the evenings til I go to bed. I don't want to do CC for various reasons. I've had 'advice' from an HV about putting how I need to put her down awake but nothing about how I could actually do this and its completely impossible atm, she just cries and cries and gets up and any previous drowsyness is instantly gone.

I've been attempting to put her down asleep which briefly worked for daytime naps (I was initially trying daytime first to work up to nights) but now she just wakes as soon as I put her down.

I'm currently in her room on a glider chair with her back asleep on me after one failed attempt, waiting to make another. Am I wasting my time? Is this ever going to work??

I'm not looking for a quick fix, I wouldn't care if it took months. I'd rather that than CC. I'm just wondering if putting her down asleep will ever work? As in if I ever manage to successfully do it will it move us towards being able to put her down awake eventually?

I bf my DD to sleep til 9 months, then thank goodness, she just naturally moved onto not being asleep after feeding and went down awake fine. Until I got pregnant again and Sleep Hell began.

I did eventually have success with the gradual retreat method. So I'd put her down, awake, she'd cry. I'd soothe her, sometimes pick up and put down again. Stay in room. Gradually inch out. Took hours at first, and sometimes I'd just have left, got last foot out of the door thinking she was asleep and she'd howl again... That was the worst, soul destroying when you just thought you'd done it!

It did work though, took a long time, but I think she was so unsettled as i was pg and I genuinely think she knew something was up but not what it was, as it all got miles easier at nearly 19 months, as soon as i got home with the dts. She's 2 tomorrow now and goes to bed with no tears and no fuss for now

So yes, if you have patience I think you'll get there. I don't think months is usual, I hope it'd be weeks, but sure it won't be days.

However, I'm no expert, sure someone more knowledgeable will be along soon!

Oh,I missed the point

Til 9 months I put her down asleep. Was fine, and transition to awake came when she was ready. I'd say in cot not your bed is progress

Thank you. It seems like such a mountainous obstacle at the moment that I start to wonder if it even possible. You give me hope!

The second attempt I made worked although she woke up every hour until 2am. I was able to sing her back to sleep each time which seems like a bit of a miracle.

I co-sleep with my 15mo and am thinking it's about time to try and move her/us into separate rooms. But, for the past few months we've been working on getting her to sleep on her own. She naps in her pram in the day, but at night is gradually getting better at going to sleep alone.

What I do at the moment is bath and clean pjs, then into our bed where I sit/lie next to her. She wriggles about a lot to begin with and I just let her get on with it while I read or play on my phone. If she tries to head off the bed then I bring her back to where it's safe, but usually she doesn't bother. After a while she normally drops off. Then, once she's asleep I either move her into her cot, or leave her in the bed (we have a guard rail and she knows how to get out of bed safely). We have some lullabies to play too, and she has a couple of small toys that are always in bed that she often likes to hold/eat/play with while she's winding down.

We've done something similar since she was about 9mo and feeding to sleep stopped working. It used to take a while for her to drop off, and she'd often cry and need a cuddle or singing to, but I've really noticed in the past month or so that she's much better and seems more like she's trying to go to sleep herself. This has co-incided with her starting to understand and obey commands, so it might also be that when I say "bedtime, you're very sleepy", she is understanding what I mean. I used to have to cuddle her quite a lot, but now she often rolls away from me when she's about to drop off. It doesn't always work, and we do occasionally resort to rocking/sling/pram, but in hindsight I think these bad days often co-incide with developmental spurts. It's also not been a steady improvement, but we go through good and bad weeks. My next step is to try withdrawing a bit so I'm not right next to her while she's falling asleep.

Sorry for the essay, but maybe something similar might work for you if you're not fussed about actually getting her in her cot, but more about getting her to sleep alone for the evening.