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Peoples' comments on my 17 month old looking 'so tired'.

6 replies

Goldenbear · 06/09/2012 11:39

My DS is back at school (5) and for the last. 2 days I have had about 5,6 comments from mums that I knew last year commenting on DD- 17 months looking shattered. I know they're just commenting but I feel judged as well as no she has not had enough sleep, she has never slept through the night and yes it does look like it is going the way it did for my DS who has only starting sleeping through consistently for the last 2 months at I kid you not, 5 years old!

She is teething with molars and is in absolute agony the poor little thing. Last week I went with my DP to My mothers to a detached house for a week to try and stop breast feeding in the night. It was killing me off slowly as she will feed 3-6am if she is lying with me. I did manage to stop feeding in the night but was having to get up between 5.30 and 6 as I didnt want to confuse her with bringing her into bed with me. Anyway, this effort went by the wayside as this week she is in agony with teething and DS shares a room with her and I could not just hug a crying DD as DS needs to go to school.

I know it's probably sleep deprivation but I seem to be the only failure in this department at the school gate. Other mums I met last year who had babies of a similar age and are now young toddlers seem to have these well rested little things that still seem very baby like. My DD, who we call bold Bo is very forthright. One mother in particular thinks she's lovely but is always commenting on how moody/serious she looks and tired.

Does anyone have any idea whether it is normal to BF a toddler from 2-6 if in bed with you or any advice as to where I may be going wrong? Going to be is a new nightmare now, I'm dreading it again tonight as DS has to wait until I've sorted DD out. DP doesn't often return home from work until 8.45/9 so he is no help in the week!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Goldenbear · 06/09/2012 11:41

Sorry that should read, 'Going to bed is a new nightmare now'

OP posts:
clarejane · 06/09/2012 18:37

Poor you, you sound as if you're at the end of your tether after years of sleep deprivation. Can you have someone help you occasionally if DP works late?

Those ridiculous comments are the last thing you need. Ignore ignore ignore! I don't know why people feel they have the right to make judgey comments about other peoples children. If you can't ignore them come up with a quick response that will shut the conversation down quickly. 'oh really, that's funny because I was just thinking you also looked a bit tired/moody/serious today. must be something in the air'. (not sure if I would be brave enough to actually say that but you get my drift!)

Most important is figuring out how you can all get the most sleep. I don't know what is normal, every family is different, but if you were able to nightwean her once then you will be able to do it again once she is over this bout of teething. And it sounds as if the feeding at night is what is really grinding you down. Nightweaning was hard for us but it helped to a) have someone go in to DS rather than me and b) to stop feeding to sleep naps & bedtimes - which took a bit of time but made a huge difference to his nighttime wakings.

Good luck, I hope tonight is better than expected :)

GuineaPigMum · 06/09/2012 20:35

I've just been through the awful
Molars with 15mo DS, and my nights were very similar. If its any reassurance, once the molars had cut through the gum the night waking / feeding improved immediately. Now he's only feeding 3 times a night rather than 10 Grin

Goldenbear · 06/09/2012 21:05

Thanks clarejane I know that it is key to better sleep- giving up the night feeds but it is so tricky in a flat. Maybe I could explain to neighbours who are above, below and to one side only.

Wow guineapigmum and I thought I had it bad, 10 times??? Well I've already seen an improvement tonight- going to sleep was easier. I tried to fix the issue at a younger age and should've persevered with it as it only gets harder as they get older.

OP posts:
clarejane · 07/09/2012 02:28

Completely understand - we're also in a flat with neighbours close by and the thought of them hearing everything added a whole other layer to the stress! The first time we night weaned we did it at my parents (detached) house. But after that we just stuck it out in the flat. I think at some point I just decided to put me and my baby ahead of worrying about the neighbours. Can't hurt to warn them, but it shouldn't stop you from trying to reduce feeds and get a bit more sleep. Very good luck to you :)

SavoyCabbage · 07/09/2012 02:37

Of course you are not the only failure at the school gate! Not that you are a failure!Grin You are exhausted is what you are. Perhaps the others are worried about you and want to help.

And if not screw them.

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