Why can't I put him back down? Early waking / napping etc at 22 mos

[clarejane]

Up until recently DS (22 mos) has been sleeping pretty reliably 7.30pm - 6am. He would have the occasional waking between 3am and 5am where I literally had to just go in and lie him down and he would go straight back to sleep. Now he won't settle for me at those wakings - just stands up, screams NONONONO and MAMAMAMAMA and tries to climb out of the cot. If my husband goes in DS goes straight back to sleep. DS does exactly the same thing as me - rocking and singing. Unfortunately it's really hard for DH to go back to sleep once he's up in the very early AM so I hate to make him go in to DS at 4am because then DH is up for the day - and he goes out to work whereas I am at home and can nap with DS. Today DS woke at 5am, I couldn't get him to settle even though he was obviously knackered, DH got up at 7am and DS was back asleep by 7.30am and slept through till 9.15am (me too :)) - which has thrown off our whole day. Arrrrrgh! Sorry, not really sure what my question is but I think it's 1) why won't DS resettle for me anymore? it's the same now for naps - with me he'll only nap in buggy, with DH he's still fine in the cot and 2) is it possible his 2 hour nap is causing him to kind of be half awake for the day at 4/5am? Should I be capping it? Thanks so much for any insight - sorry for garbled message!

Could he just be hungry? Have you tried giving him some milk or giving him more to eat during the day? There is an article here on foods that help you to sleep and one here on early wakings.

Think your DH has also got to take turns. I know he has to work but there is no reason that he can't get up once or twice during the week and let you have a break.

Thanks JJJ - I hadn't considered hunger as he eats a lot during the day. However he is a snacker so I'll take a look at the Dr Sears article and see if I can figure out how to give him something more substantial that will see him through. I stopped BF'ing at 18 mos and he doesn't have any milk as he'll only drink water. Perhaps I need to consider a snack between dinner time and bedtime instead.

DH does the weekends :)

Thanks

clarejane - is it quite typical for him to nap at 7.30am??? if not, what is his usual naptime?

Some LO's do cut down on sleep needs as they approach 2yrs old & need a shorter nap, whereas others still very much need a decent nap to get them through til bedtime & struggle without it. The only way to know for sure is to try cutting it back, but keep a close eye for him getting overtired.

That said, in my experience, early waking is strongly related to the timing of the nap, so if your DS naps before lunchtime most days, then I would strongly suggest gradually pushing his nap a wee bit later by 15 mins/week until he is napping at 12.30/1pm but no earlier. I would certainly do this before trying cutting his nap back.

I found with my DS that 1pm is the magic time - any earlier & we get early waking! He is 2 & still takes a 2-2.5hr nap at 1pm most days, is in bed for 7.50pm & asleep between 8-8.30. He wakes around 7am every day.

Another thing to consider (if he's not taking early naps) is that it may be developmental & may pass within a few weeks. We had several phases like this between 18-24months & each time started cutting the nap back & it was the wrong move.

HTH.x

Thanks so much omama - good to hear your experience. No, he doesn't normally nap at 7.30am!! That was a one off because I'm sure he didn't mean to wake at 5am but just got himself in a tizzy and couldn't go back to sleep. Nap is usually around 11.30, before lunch - although today it was closer to 1pm because we were out and about and he had lunch first. Be interesting to see whether this later nap has an effect on his waking. Guess I have to give it some time, unlikely to make a difference after one day?

I've never capped his naps and I don't really want to - I'd hate it if someone woke me up from a nap! Nice to hear that your LO still takes a long nap and wakes up at a very civilised 7am :)

Thank you!

My DD was early to need a cut in naps, at this age she was on 45 mins at lunchtime, then sleeping 7-7 at night. I did wake from naps however to avoid early morning waking, so if this is something you don't want to do, you may have to accept early starts for a while longer.

Hunger is also something to rule out but 90% of the time my DD wasn't fussed about food when she woke early so I knew that wasn't the main cause.

When my DD woke early she would often settle with some milk but you could try a snack and see if that works.

yes you will def need to give it a bit of time! I do think esp since you say he'll only fall asleep in the buggy & not the cot, that he probably isn't tired enough at 11.30 any more & that a slightly later nap will help the situation.If he's typically used to napping at 11.30 then I wouldn't push straight to a 1pm nap every day as that's a big jump (I know today was unavoidable though!) IIWY I would just push the nap 15mins later per week until your EMW stops. If you don't want his bedtime to go later than 7.30pm I'd say 12.30pm is a good naptime to try.

Like loveis says, some LO's do cut down on day sleep earlier, some of their own accord, others because a long nap means LO won't settle at bedtime anymore. I do have to say with my LO we have ultimately had to accept a later bedtime than we would have liked, because having a 2hr nap means he is no longer tired at 7 or 7.30pm, but to me this is preferable than waking him from his nap after an hour or less & have him tired & clingy & tantrumming all day long, which is what happened when we capped. And he still didn't sleep 12hrs at night!