Inconsistent nights - wtf is going on?

[Totobear]

Hi, it seems like quite a few mumsnetters, me included, have babies who are all over the place in terms of night waking.

So I am wondering if anyone has any thoughts as to why some babies are like this or if anyone has managed to overcome this problem?

My DS is 4 months and every night is different. I try to keep his daytimes consistent and am religious about a seven pm bedtime.

In my group of friends I feel very alone as their babies seem to religiously sleep through or wake at say five am.

Am so tired and feel likei am missing a major trick or something.

I should ad that my DS is a delight in the day. I have read lots of these threads but not replied as I feel I have no wisdom to offer!

In my group of friends I feel very alone as their babies seem to religiously sleep through or wake at say five am, I wouldn't believe everything you hear Toto. Not saying your friends lie but some mothers do bend the truth a little. Don't forget that at 12 months half of all babies still wake, no matter how you feed them or parent so as a group, all sleeping through at 4 months is definitely not the norm.

Do you think it could be the 4 month sleep regression or the 4 month growth spurt?

There are things you can do, but I wouldn't worry too much about why some nights are good and others aren't, you might never figure it out and drive yourself crackers in the meantime!

Have a look at sleeping through the night, 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep and you might like this tongue in cheek article too called Got Sleep?

I agree with JJJ - don't believe everything you hear. There was a thread on here a few days ago where the Mum was over the moon because her baby had slept through. He only woke at 12.30am for a feed, and twice between 2am and 4am needing a quick reassurance So for that Mum, bed at 7pm, waking three times between midnight and 7am and then up at 7am = sleeping through. Not in my book it doesn't!

I am not getting at the Mum in the example above, just using it as an example that you really can't believe everything the other Mums say because we all mean different things by 'sleeping through'.

Believe me when I say that DD slept through at 4 months and DS slept through at 5 months - meaning, they didn't wake us up at all for 12 hours.

On the advice of DD's paediatrician, we sleep-trained both babies. It was the best advice I ever got, about anything. That might be the "major trick" you are missing. Good luck.

Thank you for the links and reassurance. I guess I do over analyse everything, reflecting back onto what I did when probably there is no reason for it all!

I think he has been through the growth spurt but suspect its the sleep regression thing. He is getting frustrated in the day at not being able to roll or sit up too which probably contributes.

DS was the same but at 4 months I figured at least it wasn't habitual as the times were always different! He was also the last one to "sleep through" according to my ante natal group but as others have said don't believe everything you hear, one persons idea of sleeping through may not be another's!

Can your DS self settle? That is a major breakthrough in getting them to sleep longer. There is a method called gradual retreat which worked for us. There is lots of good info on www.sleepstore.co.nz

I was happy to night feed until 8 months or so though when I knew it was more for comfort than hunger.

I was happy to night feed until 8 months or so though when I knew it was more for comfort than hunger. althought that obviously isn't the case for all babies and there is another sleep regression at 9 months, have a look here.

Don't forget too Toto that officially "sleeping through" is doing a block of 5 hours at night, so if your baby goes to sleep at midnight and wakes again at 5am for the day, they have slept through. Not really helpful to you when you are tired, but something to bear in mind when others are telling you that their little angels have slept through .

I agree with other posters,different perceptions around 'through the night' may account for afeeling that your baby is last to sleep through. My ds is a delight during the day, always has been, but night time sleeping has been erratic and continues to be at 13 months, he now does sleep some 11hour shifts, but on other nights will wake one or a few times. I do wonder if he is teething, which i imagine can be really painful, so try to be calm and helpful, rather than tired and snappy, which is how i feel!
Things that worked to make things better included reading no cry sleep solution, as gave lots of helpful sleep associations, e.g. Not feeding him to sleep, getting day time naps sorted, although this is a ever changing thing, he also now has a sleeping bag and soft toy monkey, which when he is in bag and has monkey and popped into his own cot, now knows its time to sleep, but this took a while. In the interim, be kind to yourself, go to bed early when you can, rest during the day, if baby sleeps, and if you can only persuade them to sleep in pram, take them for a walk near coffee shops and when they are asleep, treat yourself to a cup of tea and a piece of cake. It will get better, and you are certainly not alone.

Lovely post prince .

Thank you for your posts. I have read the no cry sleep solution a few times but I just re read to refresh my memory. I hope I have made/ am making sleep a positive thing for him. I don't put him down fast asleep anymore but drowsy after cuddling and we don't dream feed as he didn't seem to want it so I guess I am expecting to much, comparing myself to others...all the usual pitfalls!

Thank you for the pep talk

Not only do people bend the truth on sleeping through but they are also reluctant to tell you the bad points. For instance DSIL and MIL kept harping on about how DN slept through from an early age but never mention the fact that once she was potty trained she wet the bed until she was 7.

Cripes! My DH was apparently an angel baby and slept for hours. Mine is an angel baby who doesn't sleep for hours! Woke for a feed at two, it's nearly four and he is still kicking away in his cot, sneezing, gurgling, making general noises because i tried to put him down after feeding without rocking him to sleep. At least he isn't crying but I will be damned if I can get back to sleep with all of that noise. It's very tempting to go in there and rock him.but instead I have had a cry, come downstairs, put the monitor on and made myself a hot chocolate.

FYI, he keeps sneezing, he couldn't get allergies at four and a half months could he?

If he's not crying out for you and is just keeping you awake with his settling noises, why don't you try earplugs?

I guess I am worried I won't hear it when he does need me! I may however retire downstairs and put the monitor on.

Sorry to hear that you are upset. My DD sneezed loads during the summer from birth and everyone told me that she was too young for hayfever. Took her to the GP and he said she had it. This is the first year she's not needed medication and she is 5.

H,m, well if DS is anything like his Ma and Pa, he will have hay fever for sure!