Overtired/ undertired- 6 month old bedtime problems- please help!

[Suchanamateur]

I've posted in frustration before but not very clearly.

DD has become impossible to settle at bedtime. She is a tummy sleeper but can now roll on her back (since a couple of weeks back). Every time I put her down at night she rolls onto her back and starts to play and gurgle. But not sleep. She won't be patted into submission either, which is our usual trick. Bedtimes are now taking 1.5hrs plus, eating into night sleep and leaving her v overtired.

I can't work out is she's undertired or overtired at bedtime or if this is developmental and I need to ride it out. Would really welcome advice as with a toddler as well in tow, this is getting really difficult.

She had been settling really easily if I put her down at 1 hr 50 (before/just as she was learning to roll to back). By then this stopped and as suggested I've been stretching that last wake time gradually so tonight I put her down at 2 hrs 15 (early because if crap naps today). Still an hour plus of playing. She doesn't really cry so it's impossible to tell if she's over or undertired. Although by now she's definitely overtired so we'll get multiple wake ups and an early start. Cannot work out what I'm doing. Anyone?

Bump please. Shes still awake. Blowing raspberries. In the very short term I have no idea how to get her to sleep. But we can't continue to have evenings like this

How old is DD?

What time does she usually go to bed?

She's 6 months. Bedtime is usually half 6 ish but does depend on when her last nap ended usually.

Oh yeah sorry, clue is in the title! Ha Ha!

Is there a rough pattern to the time she usually falls asleep after playing, chatting etc. Or is it just randon times?

A hv said to me to to aim to put dd down at the time she usually falls asleep so to work backwards from this time when starting bedtime routine. So if she usually falls asleep at 8, aim to put her in her cot then. Not sure if this helps at all?

Also, do you keep exactly to a routine e.g. naps, bedtime and 'get out of cot in the morning time' the same everyday?

No pattern to sleep time in the evening. Anywhere between 5.45 and, tonight, 8... I'd think 6.15/30 was her best time. And most convenient to me because of her older brother...

We haven't been working on set times through the day, mainly because her wake ups are so unpredictable (although predictably early at the moment given her bedtimes).

It's so frustrating. A couple of weeks ago she had a phase of going down really easily and only waking once in the night. Now we're all over the place. I know it's all phases but why do the good ones only last a couple of days?!

I wonder if she just can only handle really short awake times and is ultra sensitive to overtiredness, albeit expressed quite happily..

I know I'm lost with my dd too. She's almost 9mo. We have good and not so good days and nights still.

Have had 3 great days and nights just this week - 2.5hrs of naps spread over 2 naps per day and 12 hours night time sleep 7-7 that I've actually have to wake her from!! - all of which she's settled very well for. Don't worry, not boasting tho cos took from 7 til 8.10 for her to settle tonight (no idea why - there has been no differences to today/night than last few days).

Anyway, if these 3 days have not been a fluke (and tonight was just a hitch) then the way I have managed to get to this is to be pretty strict with routine. I made sure I put her down for naps at the same time each day and bedtime at same time. I know this is difficult when wake up times are different and early. I has both these issues too but made sure I kept DD in her cot until 7am each morning (woke her then if she happened to still be asleep - that was very rare tho). I also made sure that i kept dd up until 1st nap even if it meant a long wake up time (in our case 9.30am). I personally never found that her being very tired for this nap made her not settle well or sleep less.

I heard that lots of babies need set times for their day, particiulalry for sleep as it sets their internal clocks. have no idea if this is true but seem to have tried everything else to no avail so had nothing to lose.

Really hope tonight was just a one off tho otherwise am back to square one!!

Good success! Be interested to hear how you go.

I'm nervous about doing set times as my DD does get impossible to settle when she's overtired. I think I need to spend the next week or so trying to maximise sleep and pay off her accumulated sleep debt. And then think about trying a routine. Keep me posted on your progress!

My (just) 9 month old DD has been like this for months. She sometimes falls asleep almost immediately and other times she'll be doing what we call "having a party". Which generally means chatting to herself, thumping around the cot, blowing raspberries etc etc for anything up to an hour and a half +.

There seems to be no pattern as to whether she goes off to sleep easily or takes ages. She is good at self-settling so we just tend to leave her. But it is annoying when I know she needs her sleep and will be tired in the morning.

It's definitely a party! Only we're not having the good settling days. I'm having to settle her for every sleep to ensure she ever does which is a) tricky with a rampaging toddler downstairs and b) makes me worry we're going to undo all the work we did on self settling. The only party I want right now is a slumber party!

Another wholesale nap refusal this afternoon so wired baby and super early bedtime that no doubt will go on for hours

Wow I royally fucked that up. She actually went down fine at her early bedtime only to wake just past six, clearly thinking that was a nap not bedtime... Now have wide awake baby on my hands..