Bed time taking sooooo long - time to drop the nap?

[curlyLJ]

DD is 2.5 and is in the throes of the terrrible 2's - she's very strong willed and is really testing the boundaries at the moment - as a result bedtime seems to be suffering and is just taking soooo long it's driving me crazy.

So this evening for example, DD said she was tired, she had her milk downstairs at 7pm and then up the stairs to bed - had to try and turn this into a game as she sat on the floor and wouldn't move - so even just getting her up the stairs took far longer than it should...
Upstairs, she refused to brush her teeth, ran from the bathroom and insisted I brush them in her room, then wouldn't let me do them when I agreed, eventually we get them done and have similar ordeals about having a facewash (I do bath/shower in the morning as this can make her worse) and getting into her pullup/PJs - you get the picture!

Anyway, after stories, I got her to sit on the potty to do a wee (she has recently potty trained) and I know she didn't let the full wee out IYSWIM and I knew this would mean a trip back up the stairs for me later but I can't force her to complete her wee can I? So, up goes the pull up and into bed and lights out except her 'special light' which is a small battery powered nightlight that she can hold. Kiss goodnight and off I trot downstairs...

5-10 mins later, 'mummy I need a wee' and when I go up she has wee'd the remainder of the wee I knew she hadn't finished in her pullup and demands a new, dry one. This happens almost every night . Back in bed, downstairs again, 5 mins later 'mummy, belly hurts, I need a poopoo!' - up I go again... Sit with her whilst she is on potty, no poo is produced, so back in bed she goes and off I go again. She wanted me to stay with her but I convinced her I would go downstairs and pop back up - she doesn't always fall for this - finally, this time after some singing to herself and some whinging (which I ignore) she's asleep - at 8.45!

Why oh why does this always happen - what can I do to stop this wee/poo malarkey? She is still having a nap - anything from 40 mins to 1.5 hours - but if I remove it, I don't know what will happen at nursery when all the other children in her room are napping... it seems unfair to stop her napping when she still seems to love her afternoon sleeps...? what to do?

Sorry this turned into such a long rant tale. I know this is just another phase and it'll no doubt pass, but if anyone's got any words of wisdom they could share I would be most grateful

DS2 is going through the same at 2.6. I stop his nap where possible but he has one 3 days out of 7 and no doubt every day when he gets back to his CM. He is up and out of bed until about 9pm and eventually we have to shout at him so that he cries and then he will go to sleep. You have my sympathies, but until they drop their nap in about 6 months time every evening will be like this!

Oh and the wee/poo thing is a diversion!

Had to wake DD this morning for nursery and I know she was still tired. I worry about her not getting enough night time sleep... She made up for it with a lovely 2 hr nap at nursery today and so is bouncing off the walls this evening and is also desperate for a poo that she is also holding onto for dear life DH is sitting with her in the bathroom rubbing her belly as I type.
I just can't seem to break this cycle. I would love to have her in bed and asleep by 7.30ish but I can't see that happening at any time soon

curly - my DS is just turned 2 & we are suffering the later BT's too. We used to have an earlier BT of 7-7.30pm but he simply wasn't tired enough to go up & would get upset. We initially tried cutting his nap back to 1hr to see if it would help him settle earlier but all it did was make him overtired & grumpy. He still needs his nap (2-2.5hrs every day) & so meanwhile we are stuck with him needing a later bedtime. We reluctantly pushed his BT back a bit to 8pm (in bed by 7.50pm) & found that he was much more willing to go up to bed than if we try to get him upstairs at 7pm. Now, he just chatters in bed until he's ready to go to sleep (usually between 8.15-8.30).
The late BT isn't ideal, but his mood is much better than with a capped nap, so like funny says I think its something we all have to put up with til they are ready to cut back/drop their naps.