20 month old wont sleep.. help

[elidhsmummy]

hi i would like any advice possible, my dd doesnt go to bed without a fight she gets put t bed at 9pm and screams and cries until about 10pm when she will eventually fall asleep but she will waken up every 2hours after that screaming and crying. i have tried everything i can think of self soothing, singing reading books sitting with her but still none of this works she just constantly screams and wants to get out of bed. i am the only one she does it with as when she is with her dad overnight at the weekend she sleeps all night.

desperately needing some advice x

Poor you, you must be exhausted. I would stop all the reading, singing etc. Just pop her in bed, and tell her nicely its night and time to go to sleep. If she has some music on before bed, like one of those wind up lullabye things, then put that on too. If she continues to wake, just keep doing the same thing.

If you want to do some reading on it have a look at 8 Infant Sleep Facts Every Parent Should Know, Best Dinners for Sleep and 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep.

HTH

Could she be overtired? 9pm sounds later than average for bedtime? That said, if she slept til 7.30 that'd still be 10.5 hrs which is what my DD has though different timing... However with all this night waking and not asleep til 10 she must be a bit short on zzzzzz? Why not try 8pm for a few days see if it helps? My DD def takes longer to fall asleep the more tired she is.

agree with fifi her BT sounds pretty late, though it certainly depends when she is waking in the morning & when/how long she is napping during the day. Do you want to post her routine & you might get more suggestions that way?x

thank you ladies, if she has a nap in the afternoon she sleeps from 12-2pm and other times she doesnt have a nap either way it doesnt affect how she sleeps at night, i tried putting her at bed at 8pm but she is still doesnt fall asleep until 10pm. everything i seem to try doesnt help with her sleeping her musical toy that she sleeps with doesnt help either she just throws it away, when she is with her dad she will sleep from 9pm right through till 7/8am

and what is her usual wake up time? is it somewhere between 7-8am every day ??? Or later???

As this will affect the advice given.

assuming she wakes between 7-8am, then on no nap days I'd say she wants to be going to bed even earlier than 8pm. Probably 11hrs max from when she woke in the morning & you might find she settles quicker & sleeps longer. if I do that with my DS he will generally pull a 13hr night, whereas if I keep him up til his usual BT he will take ages to settle & wake early the next day.

If she typically wakes well before 7/7.30am, then on nap days I'd say 8pm BT was too late & to try even earlier, but if she is waking post 7.30am most days then it is also possible she is undertired. Her awake time in the morning before her nap is quite short at 4-5hrs max, and so at the moment its quite possible she needs to be awake for 6-7 hours after her nap, hence why she is fighting BT, IYSWIM?

I found with my DS when he got to this age that he needed to be awake for longer in the morning (6hrs) before he took his nap & this had a positive impact on how well he settled at bedtime. So we went from this at 18 months

Up: 7am
Nap: 12.30-2.30pm
BT: 7.30pm

to this at ~20 months

Up: 7am
Nap: 1.00-3.00pm
BT: 8pm

Pushing the nap later so he was awake nearer to 6hrs before his nap meant he I found with my DS when he got to this age that he needed to be awake for longer in the morning before he took his nap & this had a huge impact on how well he settled at bedtime.

HTH.x

Thank you all very much for your advice it has been much needed, she normally gets up at 8:30/9 in the morning, I will be trying all the tips that you all have given me :) x

Have you tried plenty of daylight too in order to help reset her body clock? Many Mums find getting them dressed and outside when they wake helps, could you eat breakfast outside or make a cuppa for yourself and go out for half an hour each morning?

Then after tea, I'm taking mine outside for an hour, we play catch, go for a walk, go to the park, anything you fancy really as long as they are outside. It seems to be helping loads with settling at night.

Do you also let her know what is going to be happening, like while you are eating tea, say after tea we will go outside for a play, then it's Bath, Books, and Bed. It won't work instantly but she will get to realise soon that bath, books, bed is the norm. I'd also offer her a snack in the bath, perhaps something like Oatibix and raisins, just to make sure she is stuffed full.

How long has this been going on too? Is it since DP left? If so, have you posted on the Lone Parents section for advice on this or spoken to your HV?

Yeah we're outside most of the day everyday rain or sunshine because she likes outside with the football. No not since he left burnout a month ago since her dad went to work offshore she has been like this before she would struggle to go down but would sleep all night now she just doesn't want to sleep at all x

I think the key to all of this could be her Dad, sounds like she is having difficulties adjusting to the new situation and you are getting the brunt.

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice on that one.

Hopefully this will bump for you.

Thank you again all do much for the well needed advice I am hoping that she will eventually get back into her usual routine x

I hope it does too elidhsmummy. In the meantime, have you got a friend or relative nearby who could do the bedtime one night for you or at least sit downstairs so that you've got someone to chat too between all the shouting?

Do you work? Have you got some friends who you meet up with or go to playgroup etc? I think my family and friends kept me sane when DS was waking.