2.7 y.o. - should he nap today?

[AngelDog]

We're currently alternating between nap & non-nap days. When he doesn't nap he's rather overtired but usually gets more hours total sleep. When he does nap, he goes to bed really late and gets less total sleep, but isn't overtired.

On Tuesday he napped (late because of swimming lesson) and wasn't tired enough for bed till 10pm. He woke 4 times in the night, two of which were for about 30 mins. We had a lie-in and didn't get up till 1.5 hours after our usual time.

Yesterday (Weds) he didn't nap and went to bed at 7pm. He woke 2 or 3 times, one of which was for 1.5 hours. He woke at the usual time this morning.

I can't decide now whether to do a nap today or not. I wasn't planning one, as if he naps it'll be late again due to swimming, and bedtime won't be till 10pm.

WWYD?

on the days that he does nap, how long does he nap for & at what time? Could you wake him up after so long eg 30mins or 1hr, so he gets enough of a nap to see him through to his usual bedtime, but not so much that it will keep him up til 10pm?

Just 40 mins - one sleep cycle. Sadly if he sleeps even 5 mins he'll still be up till 10, as how long he's awake relates to how many sleep cycles he's been through (or started, rather).

I decided to brave it without the nap. He's grumpy but I couldn't face another late bedtime.

Could you just have some quiet time instead?
DS hasn't napped today ( despite a busy morning & me putting him in bed) so we are having abit of ceebees time, before playing in the garden before dinner. Then in bed for 7 ( and glass of wine for mummy!)

Should have said DS is same age

Thanks.

A bit of down time during the day does seem to help. If only I could get some downtime - unfortunately he can't bear to be in a different room from me for more than 2 minutes, and if he's in the same room, he has to be talking to me!

What happens of you put him to bed before 10 in a nap day? When ds has a long nap, we still put him to bed at the same time but he sleeps at 8/8.30 as opposed to 7/7.30. I don't wait until he seems tired iyswim otherwise that could be late.

I'd got that idea from MN - just let them sit in bed etc and they might surprise you!

Our dd is 2+9 and used to nap for 30 mins but we found it was having an adverse effect on bedtime - later and later and a real battle, sometimes laying 1.5 hours.

We cut out the nap and the diff was unbelievable. Less hassle and now bedtime takes 20-30 mins top and is a relaxed, story reading and cuddly experience.

Sometimes she'll fall asleep in the car - difficult when you're driving to keep them awake! Cue lots of shouting, windows down, nursery rhymes turned up full blast! Even 5 mins cat nap pushes bedtime back but it's not as fraught anymore.

Personally I'd much rather put up with the tired grumpy madam than have a protracted bedtime where neither me or DH can relax after a hard day! At he weekend, we try to time tiring activities for the afternoon, so she's proper knackered come 7.30pm!!

Iggly, If I put him to bed earlier on a nap day, he tries to go to sleep and eventually sits up and declares "You're [I'm] not sleepy!" I do often try to err on the side of earlier rather than later, but it virtually never works.

Last night he was in bed by 9.05 but it was 10.25 before he actually managed to drop off (even though his nap was on time).

Thankfully the late bedtime isn't usually stressful (or at least, if it is, it's because I'm tired and fed up rather than because he's being difficult). If he doesn't go to sleep I just lie there in the darkened room and read my book till he is ready to go off while he entertains himself.

I do look forward to the day when I will be able to put him in the bedroom at a certain time and leave him to go to sleep whenever he's ready - though I suspect that could be a long time as he panics if he can't see me (sometimes even if he's actually touching me ).

I don't think there's a win-win option really, so I'm currently going for napping roughly 1 out of 3 days. He had 3 non-nap days in a row last week as he seemed to be fine, and not even grumpy. However, there were hysterical tantrums at teatime/bedtime on the third day, and again an hour before his normal naptime the next day (which is very uncharacteristic).

Judging by his daytime behaviour there's developmental stuff going on too, which is probably making the late bedtimes worse.

I'm hoping it sorts itself out soon, as I've only 2 months before DC2 arrives!

babybarrister, I'm 33 y.o. and am missing the daily nap I've had for the last 18 months or so!

at least when dc2 arrives they'll seem so easy in comparison

Ds needs us to go to sleep usually but is getting better. No way do we do as they do in films and gently kiss him, say goodnight then leave... Maybe when he's 18.

I flippin' hope so!

The sleep thing is frustrating, but I really can't complain too much since beside that, fussy eating and separation anxiety, DS is a joy and a delight and the easiest toddler imaginable. I imagine DC2 will be more normal and harder work as a toddler!