At wit's end... No one else seems to have this problem

[BlingLoving]

Most people either have babies who sleep or babies who wake up a lot. Ds has been a terrible sleeper since birth but slowly things got better. Our issue is that when he wakes, he's awake for hours. But he doesn't do it every night, just some nights. I would co-sleep/rock/feed/whatever it takes but once he's awake he cannot go back to sleep and just cries if we leave him.

We did cc which helped for a whole but now it's back. And we cant use cc forever - its supposed to teach them to sleep, not be a long term sleep strategy. What's particularly frustrating is that we know ds wants to sleep. Mostly he's crying with tiredness. He's not trying to play etc.

Anyone been through this? Any advice. Not knowing from Night to night what might happen is killing us. And being awake for Two or three hours in the middle of the night is exhausting. Please help.

How old is your DS? My DD was like this from nine months to two years old. She is now nearly three and still wakes up occasionally at night. However these days she just comes into bed with me and goes back to sleep almost straightaway.

I am afraid nothing really worked with DD. I just used to get up with her and go to kounge and put the tv on. I would then shut all the doors, make sure everything was childproofed, lie on the sofa and try to doze while she watched tv or played. When she wanted to go back to sleep she would come for a cuddle or even, just lie one the floor and go to sleep.

I am sorry; it's really tough going. Perhaps someone will be along with better advice. I just did what I could in order I make it through the next day (I work).

"go to the lounge"
"or just once, lie on the floor and go back to sleep"

Bad editing from me. Sorry.

I'm sure you've tried this already, but when he wakes don't make eye contact, keep the room dark and just cuddle him in silence on your lap for as long as it takes for him to drop back off to sleep, patting his back slowly and gently. Perhaps the combination of comfort and boredom will help.

Also, (please don't flame me for this!) have you thought about trying a dummy so he can soothe himself? Only use it at night though.

Sorry if this is no help, good luck

How old is your ds now?
My dd did the waking up between midnight and 1am every night from turning 2 - a leftover habit from her midnight feed I'd say . She was always hungry, despite often having toast or snack like cereal at bedtime with her milky drink. The short-cut for us was against all advice and logic - give her a snack and a cup of milk at daft o'clock. It sent her back to sleep a treat. I tried refusing a few times but it just meant staying up half the night fighting / crying with her. and not worth it IMHO. These days she just sleeps through. Has done since around 5th birthday. This might be a pita now but you'll survive and I promise it won't go on for ever even if it feels like it now

I used to take him downstairs and watch TV or go on the internet so at least I wasn't bored out of my mind waiting for him to fall back to sleep. Accepting it rather than trying to change it helped a lot with my mindset as I got less frustrated. He did grow out of it!

DD has been like this - my theory is teething.

The Kindle app is my best friend. Sympathies though, it's unspeakably horrible.

Thanks all. I am glad it's not just us.

I like idea of just accepting it sort of but he will lie quietly in a dark room so I am hesitant to do anything to wake him up more as I am concerned he will then start doing it every night and not just some nights.

We have tried dummy - he spits it out. I might try again though. If nothing else, he might be happy to suck that rather than be with me.

My DS did this sometimes. He was awake, not crying or anything but just awake. A paed told me to do the pat shush but not to lift him or engage, he'd got used to being lifted and needed to learn how to get himself back to sleep. It was incredibly frustrating, I was on edge every night going to sleep wondering if he was going to be awake for hours.

OP we still don't know how old your DS is?

My DD has had phases of being awake from 4am since about 9mo and not going back to sleep but not being ready to wake up either. Generally we have gone and sat with her or just left her I whingeing rather than crying. Between 7 and 8 months. She'd usually wake for an hour at about 2am. Nothing got her back to sleep so we basically left her to it (we were away at the time and all in same room so just lay in bed talking to her). Feedin didn't work and bringing her into bed just meant I got clawed and kicked for hours.

She is now 17months and occasionally teething will wake her in the early hours and she won't sleep again, but now I bring her in with us as she will lie there quietly even if not asleep. Just the path of least resistance!

Sorry terrible punctuation hope you understood! Also meant "if whingeing"!

Sorry. 15 months. This has been going in for about 4 months.

OP what does his daytime routine look like? wakeup time, nap times/length & bedtime? Is he having 1 nap or still having 2?

Sometimes long NW can be related to having too much/too little daytime sleep, or just having it at the wrong time of day, so would be worth looking at routine, just to rule it out as the cause.

He has one nap - normally about 90 minutes but sometimes a bit longer or shorter. It's still quite an early nap - around 11am as we find he is too tired usually to stay longer. When he was sleeping until about 7am we were thinking of pushing it until later but with going back to erratic wake ups, it's hard.