Breaking sleep associations

[SpannerPants]

DS is 13 months old and has never slept very reliably.

I stopped feeding him to sleep in January in preparation for returning to work in April, and he seemed happy enough sucking his thumb but then got into the habit of holding my hand as he goes to sleep. This continued at nursery and he would only go to sleep if his keyworker held his hand.

We've started night weaning recently which is going well and he doesn't feed between 7pm and 5am, but he is still waking frequently and DP or I have to sit there holding his hand through the cot bars until he is deeply asleep enough so we can let go without waking him up. This usually takes about 20 minutes but sometimes (like this weekend) he wakes again 15 minutes afterwards!

Is there a way of breaking this sleep association gently? I don't really want to have to resort to CC but now I'm back to working nights and long shifts (plus have to be able to concentrate) we need to do something.

Switch to rubbing his back instead then gradually doing it less and less? Or something similar - you could let go of his hand just as he drifts off and reassure with your voice if he stirs. If it doesnt work, hold his hand again but keep trying and you'll get there. TBH it might be a matter of time though - DS was a terrible sleeper and by 18 months improved dramatically and didn't need rocking etc although we have had many backward and forward steps in between!

Do you have any idea why he;s waking?

He used to hold his taggy blanket (and drape it over his face) so maybe we need to start giving him that again. We stopped using it because he used to take it to nursery and it got filthy because they let him have it all day so it got covered with food.

I think part of the issue is he's waking because he's thirsty - we give him water at night as its been so warm and he's drinking 4oz. I am always thirsty at night and drink a full glass of water overnight so it seems cruel to not do this. He has breast feeds morning and night plus 2 bottles of formula during the day, orange juice with breakfast (dietician advice) and water with meals so I think he's drinking enough.

Why is he seeing a dietician?

My DS had night feeds at that age - he was a hungry child!

We're taking part in the EAT study and when we went for our 1yr appointment he was found to be quite anaemic - hardly surprising as he seems to exist on yogurt and breadsticks! We did BLW but he's only just getting the hang of it. The dietitian recommended breakfast cereal and orange juice to try to help absorption.

The night weaning was because I went back to working night shifts 2 weeks ago and he's not asked for milk at all overnight since we started (during the day if he wants milk he'll paw at my chest or help himself!) and has settled back to sleep after a drink of water, after holding our hands for 20 minutes or so. The dietician also told me to stop feeding him so much overnight to try to get him eating more during the day and he is definitely eating more proper food now.