Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

4yo up for 2 hours in the night...

7 replies

streetcar · 18/08/2012 13:47

DS1 (4.4) has always been a shocking sleeper. Since he was a few weeks old he simply hasn't been able to settle himself back to sleep in under two hours if he's awake for more than about 5 minutes at night.

He's absolutely fine if nothing wakes him, but he still does this if he's woken by a bad dream, which happens at least once a week. If I hear him straight away he'll go back to sleep after a cuddle, but if it's more than a few minutes that's it. He'll then keep calling for us, crying, saying he's scared (which I do believe as he's got a very active imagination and has very vivid dreams). We've done our best to help with the nightmares (special 'dream bear', spraying the room, fairy dust, talking to him about it etc), which has reduced how often it happens, but I guess some nightmares are inevitable. I've always been reluctant to do cc for lots of reasons, and as a young baby/ toddler I felt it was linked to pain/ teething (or at least the initial waking was), but as a result it's a fairly entrenched habit.

Part of the problem is that he's simply unable to shut his mind down, however physically tired he is - and will say the next morning that he was thinking about how volcanos work, or how big space is and it was stopping him sleeping. He's brilliant at going to sleep, we have a nice bedtime routine and he's generally off by 7.30 at the latest, but he can't seem to do the same in the night.

After over 4 years of this (it was most nights until all his teeth were through at 2), we have found a way of dealing with it by putting on an audiobook for him to listen to until he drifts off (it has to be more than 2 hours long though, so I know it still takes him that long to go back to sleep), which minimises the effect on us. But it obviously takes its toll on him, and he is the devil child when he's tired. I'm suddenly getting scared of what's going to happen when he starts school in 3 weeks or so. Last night he was up from 2 - 4, then slept til 8. We'll have to leave at 8.15 to get to school, so I'll need to wake him in which case he'll be hideous, and I worry that the teacher won't see through this to the lovely little boy he is when he's not tired.

I suspect we need to ditch the ipod, but every time we've done that I just end up being up with him then having to get up at 6 with DS2. Having him in bed with us doesn't work as he just jumps around and talks.

Any tips on what to do?!

OP posts:
frazzledbutcalm · 18/08/2012 23:40

Without sounding awful, I think there's too much fussing.. From what you've said it sounds like he gets a huge amount of attention from his 'not sleeping'.. It's hard but you need to just leave him - no fairy dust/books/talks etc..

JiltedJohnsJulie · 19/08/2012 08:38

Any tips on what to do?! Yes, ditch the ipod, tell him it is nightime and go to sleep and leave him. I'd also get him up at 7 (or whatever time you will be getting him up for school) now so that he gets used to it in time for school. He might be cranky for a while but he might just sleep better at night soon without the morning catch ups.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/08/2012 08:41

My Dd is the same and yes, we had to wake her for school but she was fine and happy there plus started to naturally wake earlier for school.

She still wakes 2 hours a night but we now aim to let her play quietly (and sometimes succeed, but she has SN so is quite challenging)

He will be fine, honestly :)

suedpantsoffem · 19/08/2012 09:38

You might find that he's so tired from being in school that he sleeps right through.
I agree that you should try to fuss less though. Tell him night time is for sleeping, and if his mind can't sleep he must at least let his body rest by staying in bed. No books as they are more likely to be keeping him awake.
You have to be firm, but not fuss him. If he gets up, take him straight back to bed. Quick kiss and leave him. I would also take any toys he might be tempted to play with out if the bedroom. Bedrooms are for sleeping, not playing (or at least that is the short term message he needs to receive).

streetcar · 19/08/2012 17:11

Thank you all for a very welcome and much needed reality check! Yes, there is too much fussing and I need to stop being so PFB about him... In fact last night he woke and I was much firmer than normal and he was back to sleep really quickly. ipod has gone... Thanks all.

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 19/08/2012 17:29

Very easy to be PFB though isn't it. Am still a bit with DS who is 8 Smile.

suedpantsoffem · 19/08/2012 22:20

Good to hear it streetcar!
Keep it up for a few nights, and he'll get the message very quickly. Being firm isn't easy, but once he realises you mean what you say you can slack off.
Good luck!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread