What would you do - 9pm bedtime or no afternoon nap for just 2 yr old ?

[BettyandDon]

Just interested in opinions / anyone with similar...

My DD has just turned 2. Pretty good sleeper overall. For the last 3 months or so, if she has an afternoon nap (1230ish which is normally for 1 hour), she doesn't go to bed until 9pm. Bedtime takes 1hr.

From age 12 months, she has not napped anywhere but her buggy. If we stay in the house she doesn't nap.

If she doesn't nap at all, she will crash at 730pm BUT will be really pretty grouchy from about 4pm onwards. Occasionally (on busy days) she can't make it till bedtime and crashes at 4-5pmish, usually face flat on the carpet.

If she has a post lunch nap and I wake her after say 30 mins to 45 mins, she is like a bear with a sore head for at least an hour. It is not a nice experience.

I know she is young to give up her nap, but 9pm is a nightmare bedtime for us as it means zero free time for me and usually a sandwich for dinner. She just doesnt seem tired enough if she's had a decent kip in the day.

How do others manage a transition to no nap ? Is there a 'way' to do it?

She gets up between 6 and 7am, so sleeping at 9pm with a 1 hr nap is getting 11 hours total.

We do a 9pm bedtime. I quite like it as it means we can all eat dinner together at a civilised hour! I know what you mean about no evening though - DS is in bed at 9 and I go to bed no later than 11, but I do get 2-3 hours of nap downtime in the afternoon.

That's interesting. I am not sure DD would nap as early as 930/10 as we are normally in activities/playgroups then, but maybe as early as I can would be worth trying.

It's so hard to balance up me-time in the afternoon with me-time in the evenings...

Why do you wake her up from nap? 9 is late for that age. Try not waking her and then bed at 7 or 7:30. 14 hours sleep a day is recommended at this age.

Nap should probably be after lunch around 12:30 or 1.

dd2 was the same, she hated naps and started knockng them off from 5 moths old! By the time she was 2 she would only nap if she was in the car after a long day or if we walked for miles, hard to do when you are 8 months pregnant. Nighttimes also took about an hour as well as I had to feed her to sleep.

It has taken us 18 months to get some semblance of a routine. I had to wean her earlier than I wanted as she would have me in her room for over an hour then I would have to feed dd3 and go through her bedtime ritual.

Basically we have to get her to be as active as possible so she is tired by 8pm, then bedtime story and she is usually asleep by 9pm. Unfortunately the Olympics meant bedtime was getting pushed to about9.30, sleep by 10pm. Luckily holidays meant we weren't getting up till 8.30ish.

DD3 on the other hand is more independent and will happily snuggle upto dp and fall asleep whilst I do dd2's bedtime so we are hoping she will be easier to get to bed allround+ she is still having a good 90min nap each day and still sleeping at night

I miss my nighttimes with dp, we don't spend much time just us after getting 4 dc's in bed and I need a lot of sleep so am usually in bed(with dd2) by 10.30 whereas dp can stay up till gone 1am and not suffer during the day.

In answer to your WWYD? Whatever feels better for you.
We went with the later bedtimes for dd2 and dd3 as it was easier than trying to establish a bedtime when ds was going to bed. I didn't mind them having a lazier morning and I would prefer them to have naps during the day

ElectricShock - if I put her to bed at 730pm she runs around trying to do handstands, playing with her toys, dancing, until 9pm. I have only tried waking her for her nap a few times as she just isn't anywhere near tired at 7...

Debs75 - I am honestly not sure what works best for me. I do like my afternoon quiet times, but its awful in the evenings. Doesn't help that I'm 7 months pregnant and pretty much ready for bed myself at 930pm! I think it is important for DH and I's relationship to have some together time and a half decent dinner too.

I have no idea how I'm going to juggle 2 bedtimes in a few months, so I am keen to get something that works well ingrained before then. I think I'm going to try a no nap (maybe some quiet time in the bedroom reading instread) and a very early bed time strategy.

She might be overtired... 11 hours probably isn't enough sleep.

During ds1's transition to no nap we did naps on alternate days or 10-15 mins in the car on the way to an activity. I would always avoid car journeys after 3pm to try and prevent sleep or be mega chatty if we had to be in the car.

My ds1 is now 3yrs and ds2 is 4 months so we have been where you are now! I personally enjoyed the afternoon naps and just accepted the later bedtime for as long as possible. I was dreading him dropping his nap but now it is actually easier as he would no longer sleep in the buggy unless a long walk so we would have to come home. Now I can sort out ds2's naps without trying to juggle it all!

I had considered alternate days as her tiredness depends on what activities she's done a little I think, ie, a music class doesn't tire her out as much as the gym does.

Can't wait to see what happens tomorrow as she's been in bed since 630pm after getting up at 6 and having a 10 min kip in the car on the way back from shopping.

Maybe when DD2 appears we will all be in need of more naps...< imagines lounge with 3 double mattresses on the floor for the 3 of us >.

Betty does dh do any bedtimes? My dp never did any with dd2 so when dd3 arrived she was very dependent on me and poor dd3 missed out on evenings with me. Now finally dp is doing every other bedtime for dd2, although I am usually needed for a final cuddle to sleep. It's a lot better now but annoyingly not nearly as easy as it was with dd1 and ds when they were little.

DD3 seems to do the alternate day nap thing as well. I have found if she naps after 3.30 she stays up an extra hour or so before bed, if she naps before 3pm she goes to sleep as normal

eclecticshock it's all very well saying that, but I don't think I know any toddlers of this age who sleep for as long as 14 hours a day. My 2.1 year old DS has 12 hours a day, either all in one block at night or 10.5 hours at night and 1.5 hours in the day. OP, your story is pretty familiar to me - DS will also only nap in the buggy, though he will not crash anywhere else - those photos on FB of people's babies/toddlers asleep in their high chairs/floor or whatever are totally alien to me!

We are currently usually having naps on alternate days and it's working out fairly well. It depends on what we're doing in the morning and how early he wakes up. I really hate no-nap afternoons, life is so much more fun when he is refreshed and happy. But equally I like my nice quiet evenings!

My ds1 is the same, he is 2.2 and will either nap the bed at 9 or no nap hen bed at 6.30. Maybe worth making earlier bedtime on no nap days. Can say 6.30 bedtime works much better when you have new baby as they are most grumpy in evenings. Sadly at this point me time is not an issue as you get none ever :). I would go for early bed time and no nap most days unless she clearly needs a map in which case key her have one. Make sure to have plenty of rest time and don't plan too
Much in the day and give plenty of snacks to keep in goodmood

I would go no nap but have a quiet time after lunch where you just let her watch tv for an hour on the sofa.

Would have to be 9pm, no way I could make myself stay in every afternoon which is only way to prevent the nap, ime. If I could time things just so child would still be napping for a while after an outing & then I could have some calm time in afternoon at home after all.

I am in the overtired boat too.
Maybe she needs longer in the afternoon so she isn't overtired
Eldest is 2.8years here, he still naps 1-3.30 daily and then 7-7 at night. If he misses nap for whatever reason he is a nightmare to get to sleep before 8. With 2 1/2 nap he is begging for bed at 7.

Also how active is she in the day

We generally walk morning and afternoon ( up to a few miles) which def helps

forevergreek I think you are one of the lucky few with a LO who wants that much sleep!!

Mine will be 2 on Monday & he naps 1-3/3.30 & is in bed for 7.50pm but doesn't fall asleep til 8.30pm. I wake him at 3.30pm if he's still sleeping or his BT is even later. I did try waking him from his nap after an hour but he is a complete wreck if I do. I miss my evening time but TBH while he goes up before 8pm & chatters to himself for a while, I'm ok with it, he sleeps in til 7am & I get a nice long break in the day so I can't complain. I think if he starts to protest more at bedtime then I may have to reconsider.

OP - what time does your DD wake in the mornings. if she's waking post 7am & napping at 12.30, I would actually first of all try a slightly later nap. I've found with my DS that being awake for longer in the morning before his nap means he settles better at bedtime. If his morning is short, then he needs a really long afternoon to be tired enough for bed.

The problem with late bedtimes is that it makes it harder to have a social life as many non-family babysitters basically want little kids in bed when they get there. not that that's an issue ATM as got 2 week old dd, but generally I'd do a lot to keep toddler bedtimes in the babysitter-friendly zone.

Hard to have a social life when you have young children in the house? Really, who ever heard of such a thing?

I don't think I'm one of lucky few. I think it depends on approach to naps from the beginning
Having nannied for... A long time! Every child has taken naps until at least somewhere between 3-3 1/2 years, and after that the 1-3pm slot still used as quiet time to read quietly/ draw etc..

Can I ask if you use a buggy still? I know many will say they use a buggy until school for whatever reason and that's fine, but personally after about 18 months the buggy is ditched for all but major hikes. Unless special needs Iv never pushed a 2 1/2 year old. ( and that is in many years)

Typical day yesterday involved a walk from house to Hyde park ( 20 ish mins), then walk around Hyde park for 2 hrs stopping along way for ducks/ drinks/ picnic. Then walk home for nap

2hr nap

Afternoon scoot to friends, run in garden/ pool for afternoon, scoot home via supermarket

I know you may do this already but really the equivalent of a morning and afternoon run really helps. Everyone gets excercise, good appetites, peaceful sleep

forevergreek my DD dropped all naps at 2; this was the only way shed sleep 12 hours a night. I know of plenty of children who have dropped naps earlier than 3. I think it's misleading to suggest that you can somehow shape them into doing this. All kids have different sleep needs, like adults.

OP, in my opinion you should leave bedtime at 7ish as this is where it will most likely need to be when all the naps have gone, and reduce the lunchtime nap slowly, start with 45 mins and see how you go. My DD was a bit cranky on being woken but this soon passed.

If the problem is overtiredness, a few days of allowing as much daytime sleep is possible should fix that.

Mine dropped her nap just after 2 as well. If I were you I would drop the nap and aim for an earlier bedtime (maybe even as early as 6:30) but just play it by ear, she may still need a couple of naps in the week if she's very tired.

She will get used to not having naps after a while and you won't find tea times quite as bad, it just takes them a few weeks to adjust.

Hi OP
Am in similar position. Dd1 is 2.7 and still naps for two hours in day. Problem is she's thennottired at bedtime (715) and is a nightmare - crying, calling back, screaming etc and doesntgettired until 830 or 9 pmish. I can't make herbed time laterals she has bath and routine etc with her 1.4 year old sister which starts at 630. Ihavedecided much to my upset that I need to cut the nap to 45 minutes ( can't face getting rid of it) totryandget hertobed earlier.
Today we did 45 mins only. She still made a scene atbedtimebut it only lasted a couple of mins and I onlyhadto goin a coupleoftimesa d although sheiks not asleep yet (730) ihavecertainlymanagedto go downstairs a lot earlier than usual.
It's a difficult age when they can't quite make it thro day without nap but then if they have one it wreaks havoc!