Stomach sleeping with sensor or co-sleeping against guidelines?

[raininginbaltimore]

DD almost 2 weeks old. Will only sleep on me, or touching me. We have been co-sleeping with her snuggled right up against me. She loves sleeping on her front on my chest. During day she is happy to sleep in her carrycot, although I do hold her a lot.

The issue is we are FF and I am taking lithium for bipolar. So co-sleeping isn't a great idea. We can't fit the cot next to our bed and we can't afford a co-sleeper crib. At the moment I either don't sleep through anxiety of something happening, or I get so tired I sleep really heavily.

Someone suggeed putting her to sleep on stomach to get her to sleep in her own crib. But I realise this is unsafe too. So thought about a sensor mat. Would that make it safer, or is there still a risk of SIDS that might not be detected?

I need some sleep to manage my moods, last night I had 2 hours total as she just wouldn't settle. I need something.

Can you do some furniture moving about to make room for the cot?

It doesn't sound ideal at the moment, and I am very pro-cosleeping normally.

My LO wouldn't sleep in her cot for the first few weeks. It gradually stopped after maybe 5 weeks or so. In the interim she slept a lot in her little bouncy chair. Is that an option? I didn't like co-sleeping when she was tiny because I didn't sleep for worrying about squashing her. When she got bigger I liked it more, because she could roll over and was more robust.

She will go in bouncy chair a little in day, sleeps but not for long periods.

Only way we can ft cot is to take both beside tables out and push bed against wall. Dh's face was a picture.

Last night I tried having the crib right up next to me, I slept level with her and put my hand through onto her, but that wasn't enough.

I'm already getting anxious about tonight md how little sleep I'll get. I can cope with broken sleep in two hour sections. But 2 hours total.

Hopefully this is only a short term issue, so bedside tables out and bed against wall might be the short term solution.

Some other suggestions, just in case they're any help, and again only proposed as short term solutions... Are there any other beds elsewhere in the house which the bed would fit next to better? Or if this would be an easier furniture moving option, could you take the bed out your room, put mattress on the floor, and either cot or crib mattress next to that?

No spare room unfortunately and dh stores all his bike crap stuff under.

I will try and convince him to move bed.

Hi there, sorry I don't have much advice re getting babies to sleep alone - my DD is 5 months and still struggles with it. She has reflux though, so don't despair - your little one will probably settle much sooner.

Just wanted to give a bit of sympathy / support. If baby is bottle fed, can your DH take a shift in the night, say 4-5 hours so that you can rest? My DD would only sleep being held upright until she was about 8 weeks. So I'd go to bed from about 10-2 while DH looked after her and she slept in her sling against his chest. He'd just watch a film or read his kindle, and then would sleep from 2-8 when it was time for him to get up and go to work.

I had a bednest co-sleeper crib in the early months (on loan from friends as they are indeed really expensive) but DD never really settled in it - a hand on her chest just wouldn't really cut it unfortunately!

I believe there is something called a snuggle nest which is essentially a little portable mat with raised sides that can be placed on the bed to make co-sleeping safer if you're worried. It's not a crib, just sits on the bed. Have a look here and see whether you think it might work / be affordable.

babydelight.com/index.html

My DD will now do short naps or on a good night sleep in her cot in my room for a 2-3 hour stretch. I was never able to settle her on her back, and it was scary with the refulx as she'd often spit up and cough. So I started sleeping her on her side with a breathing monitor, and learned infant CPR. I used a sleep positioner to keep her in place. That way she was a bit more comfortable and we all got at least a little more sleep. Side sleeping is a good compromise - safer than tummy but not as safe as back.

Try to get whatever help and support and rest you can, and do whatever works, especially in the early months. Sleep deprivation is hard, but even harder when you have existing MH issues.

Good luck and take care!

Thanks. Ds had reflux so I sympathise. He loved swaddling though and I had a positioner that propped him on side. But we sold it.

I have looked at those snuggle nests, but she will only sleep actually touching me, right up against me, so not sure.

I am going to go to bed at 7pm tonight (when ds goes) and dh do 10/11pm feed so I get some sleep. She sleeps fine until 11pm, then the unsettledness starts.

Another approach - when DD was that tiny, someone said an hours sleep before midnight was worth two afterwards. So I would go to bed about 8 and OH would have DD. That way I was getting at least 4 hours uninterrupted sleep before midnight. Could your OH do this for you so that you are getting some quality sleep?

Yes I think I will do that tonight. She sleeps fine until 11pm.

Thanks. I just don't know what to do. Not sure about sensor mat.

I should be asleep now, but can't sleep.

My ds2 was the same. Reflux was his main problem though and he would cough and choke when lying on his back so never slept any more than 20 mins. I did a combination of him sleeping on me in a chair, sleeping on DH or grabbing 20 mins while he was in his cot. I struggled on for 4-5 weeks but was so so exhausted as had ds1 to look after too.

So after a lot of research I put ds2 on his front with an angelcare breathing mat underneath him. The cot wouldn't fit in our room so he had to be in his room. I was really anxious about the risk of SIDS so we also got a video monitor. The first night he slept 6hrs, 2nd slept 8 hrs and then slept 10-12hrs from 6 weeks. I could not believe the change.

It is a big personal decision but I do not regret it at all. The HV's were a little shocked when they saw the change in both of us and one has since said that she see's mums struggling as I was but is not able to recommend tummy sleeping as it is against guidelines.

I think co sleeping is not really safe in your situation at the moment.

Hi my wee one also likes to sleep on his front so I have bought a aero sleep mattress cover for the cot, you could lie one in the bed though I guess. I got one really cheap on eBay about £8. They have s special 3d layer so you can lie baby on front and they can breathe. Supposed to help prevent SIDS hope that helps

Well I tried her on her front (with me watching her) and she stayed settled. I really don't know what to do.

Last night when co-sleeping I definitely slept more heavily and wasn't that aware of her.

But I can't deny the evidence about stomach sleeping. I am at a bit of a loss.

Whatever I do I am putting her at risk. I am very pro co-sleeping, but not like this.

Hey, my dd2 always loved slepping on her front. Either on me, or on the bed next to me
But, after a few days, we put her in her moses basket with the angelcare monitor on. Then at 3 months went into her own cot, in her own room.
Yes, this was against guidelines, but we all got a good nights sleep, and she found this position more comfortable when finding her fingers (then eventually thumb), and this soothed her to sleep, and still does.

Hi, I also put my baby

Oops, posted too soon. I also chose to put my baby on her tummy & she slept better. I made sure to make everything else in her environment as 'safe' as possible - not too warm in her room, not too many clothes, nothing else in the cot apart from breathable bumpers from jojo maman bebe.

After all, a generation ago most babies slept on their fronts. It is personal choice though.

Good luck & hope you find it gets better soon.

Ps. Could you get a second hand small bedside cot?

Just a thought, have you tried swaddling?

Yeah swaddling makes her scream.

I will keep trying. This too shall pass

Are you sure she doesn't have reflux too?

I put DD on her tummy from 4 months after nearly dying from lack of sleep. I was terrified about SIDS but I was so tired that when I did cosleep I couldn't sense her. I remember nearly dropping her off the bed one night!! I read and read and read again into SIDS and decided to take the risk. I slept with her next to me on her tummy.

She doesn't vomit like my son, but I suppose it could be silent.

Yes my DD had silent reflux. Nightmare absolute nightmare :(