Gone back to work and hitting crisis point. Please help!

[Bet01]

I've just started working again as of Monday this week. I'm gone from 8am to 6pm. DS is 18 months and this week his new CM is on hols so DP has taken the week off work to cover things.
DP is brilliant with DS and they have a great relationship. DS has been away from me lots of times before for maybe about 6 hours, but not longer.
DS is also bf to sleep for naps and bedtime, so we knew DP would have to crack that. But he's fallen asleep on his own a few times so we thought it would be hard but not impossible.
Ok so background over, this is what's happened so far:
Monday - DS happy, tried for a nap but fought it so DP gave up after an hour of soothing him in his cot (PUPD really). He wasn't too horribly tired though so day was fine. Nighttime he wanted to bf all night really, and also vomited 2 hours after bed (too much bf I think, after having none all day). We all had about 5-ish hours sleep.
Tuesday- DP got him to nap at 1pm for an hour, after 2 hours of trying everything he could think of. Another horrific night's sleep, more vomiting, we had about 4 hours.
Wednesday-DP got him to nap again after about 2 hours ( he napped for 1 hr then woke). Another 5-hour night.
So this morning DS is what can only be described as a zombie: he's pale, grumpy, just awful really. How can he still be fighting sleep after having under half of the sleep he's meant to have, over three whole days?
We have let him cry a bit, but he justs goes for hours (we're there the whole time). But we're both about to crack up from lack of sleep. I'm on day 4 of a brand new job that I think I'm going to have to quit.
Has this happened to anyone else? I'm so desperate I'm thinking of giving him a sedative to break the cycle of huge over tiredness. Help!

Just to add (sorry I know it's long!) DS may have a tummy bug but he only vomits at night after bf so I think he's just getting too full. Also I know it's probably separation anxiety, big change, etc, but really how is it possible for a toddler to have about 15 hours total sleep in 3 days? I mean shouldnt he just have passed out by now??

Sounds really hard.

Is he poorly, with the vomiting, take him to the GPs?

Stop BF at night, offer a bottle of formula instead. Wean him down to Bf just 1st thing in the morning and first thing in the morning.

Naps- drive in the car, or go for a walk in the pushchair? Or would he take a bottle of formula, or warmed soy milk in a cup?

My DS stopped napping in the day when he started to sleep thru at 13m. He would only sleep in the car in the day time.

God, it's so difficult isn't it, you have my sympathies and I recognise what you're describing. You're right, it's a big change for everyone- including you and DP- when you go back to work. It's going to be a particular upheaval in your case, given your long hours and the fact you bf your son to sleep and did not leave him for long before. I therefore think what's happening now is entirely normal and predictable and not at all unusual. For example, when I left DD1 to return to work, I had left her before, she had a long settling in period, was not bf to sleep etc and still she did not want to nap and wanted to catch up on bf all night. She missed me- and I missed her!
It's important not to have unrealistic expectations of how the family will feel at such a time of change. I'd suggest that coming to snap decisions about leaving your job, sedatives etc isn't sensible after just three days- though I completely understand why it is attractive! It's just about keeping on with the reassurance, love and hugs when you are there, recognising your own feelings about leaving your DS and understanding those are normal, maybe taking a little leave or flexi to ease you both in, and ultimately trusting in your family's ability to get used to this new way of being. But you're going to have to take a measure of success after a few weeks (sorry) not three days, especially as it will be all change again next week.

I think domestic is right and you need to give it more time for you all to adjust to this huge change. He is still young and won't understand why you are suddenly not there all the time for him. He will get there though given time and love.

This is also my first week back at work, dd is 5 months and dp is taking 3 months parental leave. So far she has suddenly refused to take a bottle and so didn't eat the whole of monday and barely had anything (poor dp resorted to spoon feeding her milk) tuesday. She has been taking all naps in the pram. Last night she was awake every hour!

It is hard because she was just starting to really improve after an epic 4 month regression and it feels like we are going backwards again but I just keep reminding myself how confusing it must be for her to have her whole world change and that she will get better in time.

Please don't give up your new job! This too will pass! :)

Hi Nil, thanks for your reply. DP did manage to get him to take a bottle yesterday and although he didn't nod off, I think he's going to keep trying today. He's also going to take him to the docs just in case.
It's crazy isn't it?!

Thanks also for reassuring messages, those were really lovely. You're right of course, 3 days is nothing. But it feels so hard after so little sleep. God, why does everything get harder and harder? When oh when does it start to improve!