I need a plan of attack - 8mo naps

[GirlWithTheMouseyHair]

8mo DD is in no kind of routine, which is fine for us, but I'm going away for a few days in November so someone needs to be able to step in easily while DH is at work and also we have a few trips planned and from experience with DS they always go better if he's in a vague routine he understands.

Main issue is naps - she feeds to sleep and I think our timings are really off. Because she feeds to sleep I think her milk feeds are at weird times and I've no confidence in knowing whether or not she actually needs them.

I need her to not feed to sleep, to encourage regular two naps a day, would love obviously for her to go through the night but I know that'll come, and might equal itself out if I sort out the daytime feeding/napping.

If I aim to initially feed her as usual before a nap but try to keep her awake and put her in the cot drowsy, fine. Trouble is if she stays awake and gets more and more upset. I've tried gradual withdrawl - a bit impossible because it involves hvaing to leave DS to his own devices for up to and over an hour at a time, not ideal! CC just escalates and I give in (but maybe I'm not doing it right?) Just feeling very lost and need a pan of how to settle her for her naps without feeding her to sleep. To be honest this doesn't even work half the time....

help!

Hi there! I have an 8 month old ds and i have found that timing is the key to success with day time naps.

The only time ds is fed right before sleep now in just before bed, he has his milk feed, is drowsy from this, dummy in and bed. He has one other milk feed in morning when he wakes and if he wants it a milk feed mid afternoon. Apart from that he is on three solid meals a day with juice and snacks. So he isnt hungry when he goes down for naps but i make sure he is tired.

The timing thing goes like this (providing he is not ill or teething or anything else!)
Wake- 7-7.30

Morning nap is generally 2 - 2 and a half hours after waking, he is def tired after this amount of time, starts rubbing eyes, gets a bit cranky etc. so i take upstairs to quiet, dark nursery, put him down with dummy in and generally this is enough for him to sleep as this is what he is used to.

Depending on what time he wakes up, i will then time the avo nap appropriately. Eg, if he only has an hour he will need nap by about 2pm if he sleeps longer, up to 2 hours, more likely to be 3/4. Obviously this is not how it goes every day but generally speaking this is what works for him.

Then, bedtime is timed based on wake up of last nap...usually between 6.30 and 7.30.

Lunch is at 12 and tea between 4 and 5 and then bedtime bottle.

I hope this helps! X

Yeah it does, that sounds pretty similar to what DS did. DD is one 3 solid meals a day and has formula for bed and dream feed but wakes in the night still so isn't hungry when she first wakes for the day.

I think I need to put her down in the morning earlier than I am at the moment, I just don't know how to get her down without feeding her.

When I say routine I mean more the order of things than exact timings - but it's helpful to know what other 8mo are doing

Well like i said, obviously with a baby the timings can never be exact! And i am by no means a strict routine queen, but the routine that we are in now was sort of half me trying to read what ds needed and half him screaming at me til i understood letting me know what he needed!

I suppose the order of things need to have timings of sorts though dont they otherwise they wouldnt be in order? The way i see it a babys routine is based on trying to read their signs of tiredness hunger etc and then noticing generally what time of the day thus happens.

When you have tried to put her down without a feed what did you do? What time does she get up and have first nap? X

Just put her down at set times with feeding (8.30am and 1pm work for us with 8.5 month Dd).

Then you remove the feeds or get whoever looks after her to give her milk before a nap. I did the latter with my eldest DS and he napped for other people no problem. Took 5 mins rocking and that was it.

BF is designed to help babies sleep, so don't fight it, work with it.

Sorry roz I was completely agreeing with you and the way you do things when I said sticking to an order rather than specific timings, you seem to adjust it depending on when you DC wake up, how long they sleep for etc but keep everything in the same order, which makes sense to me as DD will obviously wake at slightly different times each day and I'm not one for waking up children early if they decide to sleep in!

Iggly the big issue with BF her to sleep at the moment is it often doesn't actually work then we're both stuck because we don't know how else she gets to sleep - so she ends up crying and frustrated and I end up feeding her again 30min-1hr later, so her feeds are properly our of kilter, she's overtired and my nipples are in agony! I'm happy to feed her just before a nap to get her sleepy but need to break feeding to sleep completely so to teach her to self-settle. Case in point right now - she hasn't fed to sleep even though she's tired. She's now screaming in her cot....

Ah I see! Well try set nap times and aim for a 2/3/4 nap pattern (so wake up, first nap after 2 hours awake, second one after 3 hours awake, bedtime after 4 hours).

On the odd occasion that dd doesn't feed to sleep (when I've left it too late and she's overtired), I use a sea horse light up toy thing, put her in her cot with dummy and she rolls about with it then falls asleep. Rocking doesn't always work so I do that when she's wound up. Could you try something like that?

I echo iggly, will she take a dummy? Its so hard and frustrating when they wont just go to sleep!!

Maybe what you need to do is decide what you are going to do to settle dd down for nap at whatever time you decide and just stick with it...its horrible when they cry but surely in the end she will get used to it and settle?? Maybe what she needs are clear signals that its time to sleep as up til recently, that has been feeding... I sing a particular lullaby to ds at nap and bed time and i think this helps x

Iggly -Just been reading the above posts and just wondered how you do with the 2,3,4 pattern? I can't seem to get a routine going with DD as she wakes at different times, is tired at different times - it's driving me crazy. Then there's the fact she naps for different length of times!

She normally wakes about 6am so I would have to put her down at 8 (she would prob nap for 1hr 15mins roughly) til 9.10, then she'd have to go down at 12ish. At this nap she will have 1hr 20 max. Nothing I can do will lengthen this (and I've tried every suggestion going!) That would mean going to bed at 5.30ish - but she would never make it through to a reasonable time next morning.

This is what I try to do:

6am - wake (she is content to play and chat in cot til 7am)
7am - play and cuddles
7.30am- up/nappy change
7.45am - milk
8.30 - breakfast

9.15 - 10.30 (put her down at 9. She chats for 15mins)

11am - snack (fruit)

12.45pm - Lunch - solids, followed shortly by milk

1.40pm -3.00pm - approx (again put her down at 1.30pm and she chats for 10-15mins)

4.30/5.00pm - tea - solids and water to drink

6.15pm - bath and ready for bed

6.45pm - in bed. Aim to be asleep by 7pm

This is the nearest I can get to a routine, altho it still is not working well because half the time she cannot make it from first nap to second nap without getting over tired, then she can't make it from 2nd nap to bedtime if I make it earlier. I have tried putting her down for a 3rd nap but she won't go. She dropped that nap herself at about 6.5months and was lasting fine til bedtime (altho not sttn).

Consequently she is waking through the night, prob cos she is overtired in the first place.

p.s. have also tried 6,30pm bedtime but made no differentce.

pps. tried 6pm beditme - she woke at 4.30am/5am

I'm really struggling with what to do now.

Any help/advise greatly received.

Agree I need to decide what to do and stick to it. Annoyingly she already has a dummy but has always been a bit take it or leave it and will find it herself but bang it against the cot rather than put it back in her mouth (which she is perfectly able to do!)

Hi Madallie I am a bit flexible with timings but generally I nap her at 8.30 and 1 because she has an older brother so I can't change too much. If she wakes early (usually wake at 6.30am) I'd nap her at 8 and shed wake at about 9.30 and I'd try and put her down again at 12.30 and she's sleep until 2 ish and I'd aim to feed her for bedtime at 6 if possible.

When she was a bit younger she seemed to need a third nap like your DD but would resist if at home so I'd try and get out for a walk which would work so she could cat nap but now she seems ok. I suspect a bit overtired but because of DS I can't always give her the best naps. She is a champion napper unlike her brother!

Your routine looks fine - id go for half 6 bedtime until she's older as it'll help in the long run with any sleep deprivation and try getting her out for mid afternoon to see if she'll catnap.

Thanks for the advice. Think I'll def keep to 6.30 bedtime to help eliminate sleep deprivation like you say. I think I will try also to bring naps forward a bit so she is having lunchtime nap at 1 instead of later.

Thanks again for help.