Nap to no-nap transition in 2.7 y.o.

[AngelDog]

2.7 y.o. DS is in that horrible transition between needing a nap and not needing one.

He wakes at 7am. Most of the time he falls asleep easily at 12.45. I wake him after 40 mins. Occasionally he doesn't want to nap till later (and if he wakes later in the morning, he will nap correspondingly later). At the normal time, he won't then get sleepy till 9.30pm; sometimes later.

If I don't wake him at 7am, he would always sleep longer - often another hour, so I don't think he's getting enough nighttime sleep. On the odd occasion when he's had a really long night's sleep (12-13 hours instead of 10 hours), he's been much happier in the morning.

If he doesn't nap, he gets stroppy in the afternoon, and is bouncing off the walls and appallingly behaved by the time I put him to bed. OTOH he'll be in bed by 7pm (6.30 if I can get myself organised enough, but it's a struggle as we normally eat dinner together as a family at about 6.30).

I can't do a non-nap day if we have to go anywhere in the car in the afternoon, as if he drops off for even 1 minute it can be 11.30pm by the time he gets tired enough to go to bed.

When he doesn't nap, he tends to wake more at night, despite having more total sleep. We had a lovely patch recently when he slept through about half the time (the best he'd ever slept) but now he's back to waking 3 or 4 times a night and is really cross. I don't know if that's milk-related: I'm 29 weeks pg and I think my colostrum has come in. When he wakes at night he now asks for milk, although I usually try to give water instead.

Nap days are hard because I get no evening at all. DS doesn't go to nursery (and we're not planning to send him) and we have no-one local he'd be prepared to be left with, so it's a long day for me with no child-free time. OTOH I nap when he does, which I really need. Non-nap days involve no midday break for me, stressful afternoons and a rush to get DS to bed. I also struggle to get to bed early to make up for the lack of nap, so I'm grumpy and extra sleep-deprived the next day.

Any survival tips?

As you say, he's in transition and that stage is always tough because neither outcome is ideal. I think you need to cut his nap down but not out. We had days where I'd let DD have 20 mins just to get through the afternoon but without having an impact on bedtime.

Thanks; I'll perhaps give that a go. DS has always been a 'reset to awake for x hours' after a nap, so even napping for 2 minutes makes bedtime quite a bit later. But there may be a happy medium.

Today was hard work as he flatly refused to nap (I kept trying till over an hour after he'd usually get tired), then he wouldn't go to sleep early at bedtime either.

Maybe it's developmental.

Can you introduce quiet time around nap time? Or around mid afternoon? On the days DS doesn't nap, if he can quietly potter in the garden or sit and read books for an hour. Or a walk in the pushchair - to help recharge his batteries. Plus decent snacks to keep him going then early bed time!

Also can you go for having some non nap days and gradually increasing these days? Then plan for these days to be nice and boring with time to recharge in the afternoon?

Sorry - my sentence about pottering in the garden doesn't make sense. What I mean is that if he has quiet time, he's easier to deal with.

Yes, DH and I decided last night that we're going to have to go for a combination of nap & no-nap days. We'd tried it a few weeks ago without success and decided to stick with the nap. But it's clear that he's now ready for a bit of a change.

Yesterday he'd had a longer than usual night's sleep, which normally makes naptime later. I really needed him to nap, so I took him swimming to wear him out and delayed the nap by 30 mins. By the time he went to sleep he was clearly overtired, and had a screaming tantrum when I woke him (which always happens if he's particularly exhausted and wanting a longer nap). But then he didn't go to sleep till 22.15, nearly an hour after I'd guessed he'd get sleepy.

I am in similar boat with ds1 and he is only 2.2. If he has any nap at all it's impossible to get him to sleep at night. With no nap he is in bed by 6.30 but can be v grumpy. We now just give him naps when he really needs them. One thing I would say is if he is not having a nap get him in bed by 6.30 at the latest so he is not as overtired. If he is having a nap don't wake him up as it will make no difference to his bedtime whether he has 10 mins or 2 1/2 hours do you might as well enjoy the nap time :). It is tough but I think with the 6.30 bedtimes it is improving slowly. Also agree with iggly about quiet time. We have books and bottle in bed whenever he feels like it which is also v handy for feeding the baby to sleep at the sane time. And constant snacks as they need more energy to be up longer. Going for walk in buggy is good too. Ds won't sleep but will get a rest. Lots of wee rests seem quite important so try not to plan too
Much in a day. Hope that makes sense and is not too rambly

I've been having this transition with my 2.1 year old DS for a couple of months now. At present he's kind of in a pattern of napping every other day, and he'll only nap in the pushchair. He didn't nap on Wednesday and, having had a settling-in session at his new nursery in the morning, he was desperately over-tired and the afternoon was a nightmare. He also didn't nap yesterday but wasn't doing anything so tiring, plus only woke up at 8am and he had a good rest in the pushchair, so was OK through the afternoon. Today he woke at 6.30am and is at (the old) nursery all day where he always naps so I'm sure he'll be napping today, but then won't want to go to bed until 8.30 or 9pm (not helped by the fact he is being weaned off BFing this week). Actually I'm entertaining a fantasy right now of going with him and DH to the park with a four pack of beers when we all get home from work and nursery!

Sorry, this isn't helpful. I would agree with the advice to enforce rest time somehow on a no-nap day, either by taking him out in the pushchair, putting CBeebies on or whatever. A friend of mine's mum said she always used to give her children a 'quiet time bag' at that stage, with a different toy or whatever in each day, to be played with in their cots for half an hour or so. Can't quite see that working for my DS!

Apparently the car thing doesn't last forever - once they are 3.5 or so it starts to not matter if they drop off in the car.

Transition times are hard, but you'll get there. My DS needs a bit of tv and/or quiet reading 'down time' to be refreshed and get through the afternoon. Keep his blood sugar up and make sure he's getting rest even if not sleep, and this phase will pass!

I posted about this yesterday!

My DD (2.0) wont sleep till at least 9pm if she has any sort of nap. She's up at 6-7am so gets 11ish hours. Yesterday she went all day with a 5 min car nap and crashed at 640pm. She was up for the day today at 5am (making phone calls to my dad on the iphone which he loved...), but she crashed for an hour at 11am as we were out in the buggy.

I think there are a few things to try :

• an early as you can morning nap combined with very early bedtime (presuming they will get up earlier)

• a quiet time after lunch (no sleep, but chilling out - reading /tv)

• hardcore - no sleep opportunities in the day = for the bravehearted as this usually means grumpiness, maybe try every day or two or on quiet days

I have ruled out waking her out of an afternoon nap after say 40mins as she is awfully grumpy if I do this and I mean AWFUL.

I'm trying all of the above at the moment. Am very interested in seeing what she does tonight after crashing this morning...

Some people have been telling me she is over-tired which I don't think she is as 3 months ago she was sleeping perfectly for a toddler (1.5hr nap and 12 hours overnight no waking), but it has obviously changed and that is no longer working, so something is happening. She slept through the night from 5 weeks so I think she might have got to the no nap routine quicker than other kids ?

I'm even thinking bribery might work :)? ie, if you go to bed you get a treat in the morning or is that evil....

Thanks, all.

I'd love to have a 'play quietly on your own' for a bit session at lunchtime (or live with the late bedtime & get DS to play on his own upstairs while I get a bit of an evening), but he panics if he's in a different room from me for more than 2 minutes. He does need a fair amount of time to play on his own though, so I don't have to do full-attention 'entertainment' all day.

It's interesting how different they are. It makes a huge difference how long DS naps for. If he sleeps even 5-10 mins into the second sleep cycle (45 mins), it adds another hour onto his awake time. If he sleeps into the third cycle (more than 1.5 hours), it adds yet another hour onto his awake time.

So I always wake him after 40 mins of nap, but it can be hideous. Today was okay as he wasn't too tired, but if he's exhausted, he'll have 20-30 mins of proper tantrum, ie completely out of control kicking, screaming, rolling on the floor etc which he only does at these times (he's quite a chilled child generally).

On the plus side, he doesn't self-settle so preventing him napping is easy, and if I try to get him to nap and he doesn't go off, I've at least had a bit of a lie-down and read (even if I am simultaneously dealing with a stroppy toddler). :)

I do need to plan in quiet time, as when he naps he gets bf/cuddles to get him to sleep, so he's missing that too when he doesn't nap.

Angeldog, give something sweet it sort if breaks the tantrum instantly!

angeldog I wake my DS from naps by picking him up and carrying him downstairs and putting him straight in front of the tv with a snack and a drink in his hand. If I offer him food or drink he'll say no, but just putting them there without comment means he consumes them. By the time a 10min programme has finished and he's had a drink, he's fully awake and fine, no tantrum. I've had the post-nap tantrum while needing to get him to ride his bike to pick up DD from school...not fun!!

Ah, some good ideas. I gave him a glug of orange juice today and it seemed to help (though he was woken from a pushchair nap, which is always less traumatic for some reason - probably because he knows he can't go back to sleep, and because I'm fully awake rather than struggling to come round as well). We were having a pub lunch and after the drink he immediately asked for some food. Normally it takes about an hour to get to that point. I'm going to try it again tomorrow.

It's going to be a week of lots of naps (and hence late bedtimes), as we're swimming every morning.

The last 2 or 3 times he's not napped he's slept a bit better at night - ie he's not woken up wailing an hour after I've put him to bed. That's progress. :)

Well done you're doing great!

Thanks. :) I just need to get him (and me) well-adjusted to things before DC2 arrives (due end of Oct). And I definitely need to get better at going to bed early!