Can't get 14wo to sleep!

[nocakeformeplease]

Hi there

I am just looking for some advice on how I can help my 14wo DD to sleep both at night and during the day.

From the very day she was born she has only ever really slept very well on me. I have no problem with this (especialy now a friend has lent me a fabric sling which is fantastic) but I have a demanding 3.5 year old too so it is not always very practical!

She has always seemed to know the difference between night and day and once she goes down is fine (wakes 2/3 times a night but goes back down quite quickly) but I cannot seem to get her to go down before 10pm. She also doesn't sleep very well during the day and never in her cot.

A typical day would be:

• wake about 7-7.30
• go down for a nap 90 mins later either on me or in pushchair (twice she has managed 2.5 hrs but generally 45m-1hr)
• 2 or 3 more 30 min naps in sling/car/pushchair
• spend most the evening trying to get her down in the cot, she evenually gives in around 10 and then will normally wake anytime 1am-3am and comes in with me

In total I'd say she manages about 2.5 hours in naps during the day which I know is not enough and probably contributing to the problems getting her down at night. I'm sure if I can crack the nights or days the other will follow.

I have tried in no specific order, putting her down awake, putting her down asleep, swaddling her, white noise, making sure she has a nap early evevning so she is not over tired, not letting her sleep too late so she is very tired.... nothing seems to make any difference.

After several attempts to get her to sleep tonight, she is fast asleep on my bed. Although I never intended to , I'm happy to sleep with her but I am so scared something will happen to her and I will blame myself as all the literature say she is safest in her cot (I make her as safe as poss obviously and pillows/duvet aren't near her. DP is on the couch so plenty of room).

Not sure if it is relevant but she is EBF and is on 98% percentile.

Despite the lack of sleep, she is generally a very happy, contented baby (as long as she is with me!). Part of me thinks its just the way she is and nothing I do will change it, but I feel I should at least try and help her get more sleep.

BTW DS slept 7pm-5.30 from eight weeks so I guess I used all my sleep luck up then .

This sounds exactly like me a few weeks ago. DS now sleeps through (20 weeks, started going through at 14wks) but hates actually going to sleep in the first place. I've had a bit of success in the last week and he's started going to sleep about 8.30 pm.

I know you've already tried a lot of this but I'll tell you my routine. I wouldn't count out trying some things again as DS hated swaddling as a newborn then when we tried again at 12 weeks he slept through the first night!

Put white noise on in room and feed. Lie on bed holding DS on his side and gently rock & sing lullabies. Being on his side really calms him down. He usually flips on to his back and struggles but will normally settle on his side after about 10 minutes. When he starts getting sleepy I swaddle him (I use Summer Infant Swaddle Me) then carry on rocking until he goes to sleep. Once he's in his cot the white noise stays on until I come to bed. I do a dreamfeed about 11. Most nights I manage to get to about 6am doing this.

I don't do bath or massage I find it stimulates him.

Can't help with daytime naps - DS is currently asleep on my knee. It's either there or the pram!