Reluctant to move toddler from cot to bed

[breadandhoney]

We are expecting DC2 in December and are in the process of creating a "big girl room" for DD, who is 2.1. I am considering moving her cot into her new room for the time being. I am very reluctant to move her into a bed just yet, for several reasons.

1. She currently talks to herself for up to an hour before falling asleep in the evenings. I worry that if she were in a bed, she would be getting up intend of lying there talking herself to sleep.

1. We are also contemplating starting potty training soon, well before baby arrives. I don't want her to have to deal with too much change all at once.

1. She sleeps really well (mostly 11 hours) but can wake during the night and chat for a few mins before falling asleep again. I worry she might get up if in a bed.

1. I know we may have to deal with these issues at some point, but I wonder if delaying the move into a bed would mean that she would outgrow any issues.

1. We have a 'spare' cot at my DM's that we could use for the baby when he/she makes the move out of the Moses basket, so I don't see that as a problem.

1. She is used to sleeping in a grobag with no pillow, and I don't know how she will take to a pillow and duvet.

My family seem to think we are nuts even considering this (as apparently I was sleeping in a bed, fully potty trained and taking the car to the local shop at 6 weeks!)

I would love some advice from anyone who has been here, done this. TIA.

Well first of all don't make a big deal of it being a big girl bed. It's just a bed. Otherwise when baby arrives and she regresses she'll want to be a baby again and sleep in a cot (if you do move her).

You're always going to have the worry about getting out of bed etc so decide if you want the hassle now or later when baby is here? We found DS was fine moving into a bed then a few weeks later he started messing about but we sorted it all before DD arrived.

We decided to move ds into a bed because we didn't want him to think of the cot as his. Although DD didn't use it much inthe first few months so we probably could have delayed it.

As for potty training - I waited until he was 2.8 and dd was 6 months. I had heard that many kids regress when baby arrives so decided to wait. It was very quick to do as he was a bit older and wiser.

Ignore your family - we all have a tendency to look back with rose tinted glasses and forget how it really is with young kids. Just have a think about how things are now and how they will be with a baby in tow and make a decision from there.

Watching with interest... I could have almost written the same OP myself!

Thanks for the reply Iggly. What age was your DS when you moved him into a bed? Potty training is another issue really, but they are linked. I think DD is ready, as she is already going to the toilet before bath time and asks to go when she is getting her nappy changed. She will also tell me when she is doing something in her nappy.

We will probably be potty training before December. It's something I would like to start quite soon actually.

Iggly, when you say you "sorted it all", did you just keep taking him back to his bed when he got up? Did it affect his sleep through the night or his waking in the morning?

Has anyone else got any advice?

He was 20 months and I was about 6 months pregnant.

Basically what happened was he'd not sleep and keep trying to get out of bed. So we sat with him and kept putting him back into bed. (this was at bedtime). Once he fell asleep he'd sleep through - it was only at the start of the night. He did go through a phase of waking up and wandering around his room - but I think he was half asleep as he'd call out for us ad we'd find him in a corner or on a chair disorientated and upset (so he wasn't trying to mess about or play). We'd put him back calmly after a quick cuddle.

When he wakes up in the night/morning he doesn't get out of bed until we come in for him (except for the wandering mentioned above which went on for a couple of weeks).

Your DD sounds ready for potty training so I'd try now! DS took a week and he was at that stage your dd sounds now

I was going to say that there is no point you deciding a time potty training - they decide and then it is easy, but it sounds as if your DD is pretty ready now, so why not give it a go now and if after a couple of weeks it's a struggle, give up and try again in a few weeks.

Re the bed, I think leave DC's in a cot until they climb out. Ds1 and dd were in theirs until about 3yo and the move was fine then, ds2 is 2.5 and fully potty trained, dry at night but still in cot. The move can be disastrous for sleep (though not always), chances are you will get her coming in to you at night and one way or another, causing disturbance. If for practical reasons you have to move her then fine, but your new baby will most likely be in a Moses basket for quite a while, you are pg and getting good nights, why rock the boat?

I could have written this post myself.
Have started potty training at 20 months led by my son. Just seeing how it goes. Thinking of big bed but have all the same worries

sleep when I read your post it calmed me a bit. I'm glad not everyone rushes to put the toddler in a bed before baby no 2 comes along. I have been feeling a bit odd and worried that I was making a big deal of something that others found so simple. We had a terrible phase with dd and sleep when she was much younger and we still treasure every night now that she is sleeping through. So, you hit the nail on the head really. I am scared of rocking the boat!

Thank you both for encouragement re potty training. I think I'll give it a whizz (pun intended ) and see how we get on.

I would still appreciate hearing the experience of others with regard to putting toddler in bed before birth of next baby.

We moved DS's cot into his new room shortly before DD was born (2.10 between them), then converted it to a bed when he was about 3 and climbed out. Tbh he was always a nightmare sleeper, hated being alone, still does (at 7), so he was a complete nightmare when he could get out. We had lots of nights fighting to keep him in his bed , it was pretty horrendous, especially with newborn to deal with.

DD was 18m when ds2 arrived, we left her in her room in her cot for 9m more, keeping ds2 with us, then moved her, still in cot, into ds1's room (sharing). Into a bed about 9-12m after that. She was no problem at all, but was always a better sleeper and still is. So it really depends on the child!

Just by the way, ds1 was potty trained a couple of months before DD arrived but regressed massively for about a month when she was 2m old. DD potty trained early (around 2, but led by her) but she also regressed about 5m after that, nothing to do with new baby who was 1 by then . Go figure.....

Thanks for the details. There is no figuring these kids out, is there? Just when you think you're getting it, another challenge comes along. I think part of the reason I've been stressing about all the changes coming our way in the next few months is that nothin has really changed for the past year or so. Weaning was really the last big thing. We've just sort of been bumbling along nicely since then.

I suppose stage one is getting the room painted and finished and moving dd's cot in and then taking it from there.

Right now I'm thinking we will probably do potty training now and leave dd jn cot til after baby comes...I think

Another question, did you give your dcs a pillow/duvet in the cot when they got older? Is there a specific need for a pillow at a certain stage?Dd is 2.1 but is in 99.6th centile for height, making her the height of an average 3.3 yo. She is fast outgrowing her gro bags!

Ds2 has had a pillow since about 18mo and a duvet since just before 2 iirc. The others didn't though, they stayed in grobags, no pillow til in a bed. DD always loved her grobag. I think ds2 arrangement came about almost by accident, he seemed to like the pillow and maybe we went somewhere overnight, forgot grobag and he was fine with blanket/duvet so we just carried on?

If it's any comfort the hard bits are quickly forgotten, just chatting to DH about dc's cot/bed arrangements and we struggled to think what we did...and it really wasn't that long ago!

I gave my son a duvet and pillow at a year in his cot. I hope that helps when we transfer

I found that moving my child to a big-boy bed was easy!
He liked pirates so I found him the perfect pirate bed and he can't wait to go to bed now!

My ds moved to his bed a week after his second birthday and so far no problems in 3 weeks. He will start potty training after holiday so in 2 weeks time. Like you we are moving him to a new room before the new baby arrives in December. I took the view that getting it done early may reduce any regression as it will not be associated with the baby directly.

Thanks all. I might see if dd is interested in having a pillow in her cot and then introduce a duvet after a while, take it step by step. She loves to climb into our bed and snuggle down and can often be found hiding there throughout the day. We have decided to start potty training next week and see how that goes. Maybe once that is established we will consider the big bed move again. However I think we will probably end up waiting til the new year and, as someone said upthread, until she is really ready for it and interested in doing it. I don't want it to be a forced thing.

Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences :)