Settling for naps and bedtime driving me mad- please help!

[Suchanamateur]

DD (5.5mo) has become a nightmare to settle, and she was never easy. I don't know if it's a timing thing or what. Apologies this is going to be long...

I usually feed her about 1hr 20/30 after she has got up (she will only feed in dark silent room and has a 2.5 yr old brother), and then put her down awake in her cot. She will only settle on her side so it usually takes a few returns of me turning her back and patting until she sticks her thumb in her mouth and settles down to sleep. I try to ensure she is asleep within 2 hrs of her last nap.

But recently and especially at bedtime this is taking up to an hour- I had been putting her down about 1hr 45 after her last nap but perhaps this is too late? She doesnt cry just yips and flips around her cot, not calming down. By the time I eventually get her to sleep I know she is overtired.

She doesn't show visible tired signs at all so I end up relying on the clock and this is clearly not working. Any advice?? How long should there be between last nap and bed sleep?

At around 6 months my ds started managing to go for longer than 2 hours between naps, it was more like 2.5/3 hours. Have you tried leaving a longer gap?

I've had a couple of longer awake times (often by accident) but it just seems to result in very short naps and a hyper baby. Perhaps I should do it gradually?

yes definitely go slowly. Perhaps add 5minutes, wait a few days & add another 5mins.

One other thing to consider is that she is getting towards the age where the teatime catnap is dropped (typically anytime between 6-9 months) & so it might be that because she is napping close to bedtime (assuming she is of course) then she may not be quite tired enough to fall asleep. If you want to post her routine including wakeup time, nap times/length & bedtime it might help folks to offer advice.x

Thanks. My problem is I can't work out whether she is undertired or overtired! I thought I might know a bit more by now given she's my second but am jut as clueless!

Her day varies a lot depending on wake up time, length of naps (which can be anything from 30 mins to the occasional 2 hour joy) and toddler activity. But a good and not very unusual day might look like this:

6.30 wake up
8.15 nap (40 mins to 1.5 hrs)
12 ish nap (hopefully 1.5 hrs)
4 ish nap (40 mins and always up by 5)
Bath and bed routine starts at 6.15ish with aim to be in bed 6.45ish.

On short nap days, I end up having to fit in 4 naps but always aim to have her up by 5.

I find if I push awake times too much we get a 25 min nap which I have always assumed was over tiredness.

Nights are variable but we'll usually get one wake for food anytime between 1 and 4, and unless I'm very lucky another extremely annoying wake around 5 where she is a pain to settle back.

yes, better changing nap times by 10 to 15 mins a day, I think.

She might well be moving to a 2 nap a day stage, rather than 3, mine did at around this time. I would try dropping the 4pm nap (that should help make her more tired at bedtime. You could also try making the other two naps a bit later than they are currently - think at this stage DD was waking up about 6am, having a morning nap about 9am or 10am, and then an early afternoon nap. Now, at 14 months, she is only having the morning nap, and it's closer to 11am.

Their nap schedule keeps changing. And every child is different with what they need. DD is DC3, so I didn't pay much attention to her nap schedule and just let it find its own pace. Some days went quite wrong, but mostly it was fine.

yes agree with bedhopper - I'd probably try & gradually shift that morning nap a touch later, so it starts nearer to 9am. IME its best to go very slowly, at this age I'd push it by no more than 5-10mins every 3 days or I think you'll find she gets overtired.

You should hopefully find that in doing so the afternoon nap will also go a touch later & with any luck she may then manage the distance til bedtime without the teatime nap. If she does skip this nap you might just have to do a slightly earlier bedtime for a wee while until she gets used to it.