My 8 month old wont sleep unless held/on my boob!!!

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I'm looking for some advice, I think. My ds is 8.5 months. He's never been an amazing sleeper but hasnt been bad. Bedtime routine was always easy; bath , story, bed. Sometimes put down awake sometimes alseep. But recently he's just become very difficult. It's a challenge to get him in his cot at bedtime awake. He wants holding to sleep. Daytime naps are even worse. We have a story, song and nap routine. Used to work great. Now it just bring on hysterical tears. I have to hold him to sleep usually. And as soon as he feels me elevating him into the cot he wakes, arches his back and screams until I pick him back up. Same for night wakes. Even worse is, he now seems to just want my breast to suckle on. He doesn't have a dummy and up until about 5 weeks ago was never much of a suckler.

I'm trying a pick up put down approach. At bedtime it sometimes works, and sometimes during the might. But it can take over an hour.

It's just taken me an hour to get him to sleep. He fell asleep in the car, for less than 5 mins. Stayed asleep while I took him out of the car/seat. Woke elevating him into cot. Cue hysteria. Not even cuddles and rocking would stop him. I eventually caved. Gave him the boob and cried. He's asleep now. But I'm exhausted and in tears.

I don't think I can carry on like this. He's waking 3 times a night at the moment (can be more if he's teething). I feel like my days are dominated by tearful naps. I feel like I'm damaging him. Thing is I know he's tired. I've tried catching him early/ leaving him longer. Result is always tears.

The boob reliance is becoming a particular issue. And I feel like giving up bf might have to be an option, which I didn't want to do yet.

Anyone any words of advice.....anyone?

.....controlled crying is not for me btw

DD (7.5) is much the same.

in the night, if she wakes up and has no boob in her mouth, she gets upset (she does fall asleep and drop off the boob and sleep without the boob)

she won't sleep in the day unless she's feeding, and i'm convinced she's convinced herself that tired means hungry.

she will nap in the buggy if she's tired enough (and not upset when she goes in it)

no advice, just empathy. :(

(we co-sleep, and have done since 2 weeks old when the crying got too much for me)

No advice, we're in a similar situation. Just spent a pointless hour of pick up put down for a nap, which again didn't work. Ds2 is due a feed, and as soon as he's on the breast, he's asleep. I don't know whether to continue trying, or if not, what to try next. You're not on your own with this.

she's asleep now.
(i'm sorry, it's just such a rare event!)
she's just had a really long feed.

Oh god it's hard right??? Nickel my little one had 1/2 hr woke so he's on my boob.

Thursday how old is yours? I know that feeling of not knowing whether to bother. An hour of crying with pick up put down is exhausting for everyone and I hate all the tears.

I think I'm probably not answering your question, but my dd wouldn't usually sleep without feeding. So that's what I did, and still do at nighttime. She seems to be able to go off by herself now (she's 14 months). why is it caving in(says the world's slackest mum)? What's the rush to make them sleep by themselves? They'll get it. Most grown ups don't seem to need the boob! (do your own dh gags here.)

What I mean to say (excuse addled brain) is that you shouldn't feel that feeding them to asleep isn't ok. I often felt/feel like I'm doing it badly because I do this, but it's easiest for us, and while I might be bottom of the mothering class, sod it. Of course, if it's just not what you want to do/is driving you mad, then feeding to sleep isn't much of a solution. But don't not do it because the books/uber mums can get their babies to sleep "properly".

I agree Whiteshoes, it's not caving in, it's giving us both a good chance of actually getting some sleep.
At the moment, i have to get through the day, and if i can do that by feeding dd to sleep, then good! :)

Ds2 is 8 months, and I wanted to start introducing more of a routine in. He had been fed on demand, and just napped on me, and that worked, but I'm returning to work in the autumn, so wanted to get more structure in his day in advance of him going to the cm. Bedtime isn't so much of an issue for us, it's the daytime naps. But the books suggest getting bedtime sorted helps with naps. After the big failure of an afternoon nap, he then had a 30 min and 15 min nap on me during feeds, and took 25 min to get to sleep at bedtime (but I only picked him up twice, he was relatively calm).
I'm going to try and keep going for another week for the naps (baby whisperer suggests it can take up to 2 weeks for an older baby), then take a break if it still isn't working. It's just soul destroying when you are spending a couple of hours a day trying to persuade them that they really do want to sleep in the cot.

There we go, 40 min sleep, and he's woken again. I am still feeding him when he wakes at night (and then basically he stops crying the second he's attached), but that's an issue for another day.

what about getting him to sleep in the day in the pram/reclined buggy?
DD seems to drop off when we wheel her around (okay, that's an oversimplification - she will if she's ready to go for a nap, and even then, she has to look like a zombie for a good long while first)

What i mean is, she wouldn't even begin to think about napping in a cot (actually, she doesn't have a cot...), but the motion of the buggy works quite often. (same as if she's tired and we go for a drive, she'll sleep in the car seat)

if you got into a routine of getting him to sleep in the buggy during the day, then that's pretty easy for a childminder or nanny to emulate when you go back to work.

omg i love you all that have posted on here.
my 8mnth dd is exactly the same, boob when hungry, boob when tired. boob every hour through the night.

im sick of posting on here for advice (great advice but i cant seem to make it work for us)
so now i just offer empathy about it to everyone else in similar. tbh im too tired to try any kind of sleep training, we are in survival mode, get her to sleep any way possible, sleep when she sleeps.
can i put in a gag about the dh falling asleep with a boob in his mouth - actually since bffing, my dh wont even touch my boobs!)

GEM, it does help to it's not just you doesn't it. Sometimes it does feel that way. I know what you mean about being too tired.... I've just given the boob the past 2 nights. He's prob v confused!!!
He's showing some signs of being able to settle in his cot. Sometimes, but it usually takes booby to calm him.

Nickle I'd rather not use the buggy. He often (used to) sleep for 1-2hrs in the morning which was my time to catch up on housework/make our lunch /dinner. I'd struggle if he was in his pram as he'd have to be in the living room. Plus, rocking the pram doesnt always seem to work. It as to be in pushing mode. Prob bcs I've never used it in the house.

Here's to a good nights sleep