How to get 2 Year old to fall asleep on his own

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Hi, I know I have probably made a rod for my own back, but I lay next to my DS until he falls asleep. His routine, is storys if he will sit still, bath, bottle of milk laying in his bed beside me, with soft lullaby music playing in the background.
We are going away on holiday in a couple of weeks and when we get back, I want to try and get my DS, just turned 2 to fall alseep on his own. I was thinking of keeping everything the same in his routine, but instead of laying beside him/cuddling him till he falls asleep I give him a kiss and a cuddle and then sit at the bottom of his bed. This way I will hopefully not fall asleep as I tend to do most nights, whilst waiting for him to fall asleep.

Any advice welcome, thanks.

I have no advice, but the exact same problem!

I don't actually lay on DS's bed with him, but I have to sit right next to it and hold his hand while he falls asleep.

I have no idea how to stop doing it! Hope someone comes along soon and tells us the answer!

hiya, im far away from getting a nights sleep myself but reading your posts reminded me of that gradual retreat thing i read on here once that someone had raved about. basically i think you put your baby in their bed and on the first night you sit with them on a chair right next to the bed, then each night you move the chair closer and closer to the door until you are outside or something like that. someone put a huge post on here about it, maybe someone will come along and explain it better than me?!!

Joining this thread too without advice though I'm afraid. My DS used to go to sleep by himself beautifully until he turned 2 when we went away on holidays. Ever since he no longer wants us to leave the room and he wakes in the night. He now goes to sleep in our bed with one of us lying with him until he falls asleep and then we co-sleep. Really wonder what we need to do to get back to 'normal' but not keen on leaving him to cry... We have already thought of taking the sides off his cot and then gradually get him used to going to sleep by himself in there, no idea though what exactly we will do...

Wow, there's loads of us doing it. I've no advice as I haven't a clue how to go about getting her to sleep on her own.
Currently sitting across from her bed, MN-ing on my phone. Naps are the same.
We used to have a mattress on the floor next to her bed but removed it recently. Have a comfy chair in the room instead now.

Gradual retreat sounds like it's worth a try.

Hurrah! It's not just us then! We have the old mattress from DD's cot, flop it on the floor next to her bed, and i have to lie there and hold her hand whilst she falls asleep. Most irritating especially when I can hear the Eastenders tune starting without me . In additional to this she seems to sense when we come to bed as more often than not she pads into our room (pillow trailing behind her) and I lift her in to our bed.
I wouldn't mind one
or the other but both sleep problems is simply rude!
This happened literally overnight, she started one night to scream and scream until I sat with her and there was the rod in the making.
Absolutely no idea how to kick the habit as we aren't happy to do cry it out or control. I guess maybe it will be gradual retreat, but that will probably work when she is, ooh I don't know maybe 10 !!!

My DD is 2y 3m old and (fingers crossed etc) I think we've recently cracked this.

She was bfed to sleep till about 18 months old, then cuddled to sleep till about 2yrs. Then we decided to introduce bedtime stories instead of cuddles. So she gets two stories sitting on my lap in the chair in her bedroom. Then into her bed while I read her a third story.

If shes really sleepy she will fall asleep at this point but usually she's still awake so I tell her I'll be back in five minutes to read another story. (initially I went back after only a minute or so so she knew I was telling the truth about going back).

She stays in her bed either snuggling down or playing with her toys waiting on me. I go back after five mins and read a story. If she's still not sleepy I tell her to settle down and I'll be back in ten minutes. Then when I go back if she's still awake I read another story. I would keep repeating this but usually after the second return she's either v sleepy or asleep.

I think it works because she trusts me to go back. So some nights when she's less settled I go back in sooner, if I think she's likely to start crying.

Hope that helps somebody. I can't believe after all the 'rod for your own back' comments that she actually settles herself.

I have a 21 month old who is hard to get to sleep and then visits me at 3am without fail. (He is in a bed as he was climbing out of his cot and over the gate!)

I guess i am unwittlingly by nature more of an "attachment parent", as i suspect most of the parents on this thread are, otherwise we would have all gritted our teeth and perservered with CIO (I did do it for about a week, DS, slept for about a month very well, but a change in circumstances (country, weather) meant he was waking again and CIO made him hysterical, so for him, it is defintely not a panacea.

anyway, i ahve ordred www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0071444912/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&seller=
from amazon so especially with it's explanation of sleep and routine i hope i will get somewhere and we will both get an uninterrupted night's sleep

The thread about gradual retreat is here

I've been lying down with my 18 month old until she falls asleep for a long time, probably since she was around 11 months. Problem is that she has always taken a long time to settle down and actually fall asleep (an hour is good going, but it can be up to 2.5 hrs). She won't settle for my DH and I really want my evenings back! She's quite happy during this time, too happy perhaps - she goes through her vocabulary talking on her imaginary telephone and marches up and down the bed . I think perhaps it's overstimulating having me in the room with her and she definitely likes having an audience. But if I just leave her to get on with it, she gets upset and protests. I don't want to do CC or CIO either.

I started gradual retreat a few months ago and it did start to work, but a bout of teething/a cold/going on holiday/mini heatwave put us firmly back to square one. Unfortunately DD is much more aware now and whenever I try putting her in the cot awake, she makes her feelings clear!

I think gradual retreat is the way to go though and I'll have to take a deep breath and get on with it at some point.

Sorry this turned into an essay...

We've used KD's method and it works. I find gradual retreat you get stuck at a certain point so the "I'll come back method" means you cruelly escape at some point albeit briefly.
We do have periods where he wants us to stay which is fine but we normally get back to leaving again.

I found the no cry solution for toddlers really useful.

Listening to these comments was the same for my 20 month old. We always bathed, then cuddled on my bed (he gave up milk but used to have bottle) then when he feel asleep, I would carry him into cot. He then could sleep whole night give or take. 9 weeks ago I had my second dc and he refused to go to bed. Would scream and cry each night bring separated from me as DH would put him to bed as I was recovering from c section. But we persevered, would have our cuddle then DH would put him to bed. He would go back in a few minutes later when he cried and was just firm. He would stop crying and would drop off to sleep. Eventually I took over putting him to sleep again and now a few weeks later he goes straight into cot after our cuddle and goes to sleep. He even did this with his nanny when she babysat last weekend! Think this only worked because hubby took over putting him to bed as it was always me and I always used to cuddle when he wouldn't sleep.

Iggly. What's the no cry solution for toddlers please? I have a nearly three year old who we are having bed time issues with!

It's a book by Elizabeth Pantley - it talks about various sleep issues at that age and how to tackle them. I can summarise if you like - will do a bit later when I get a time (DD crawling over me )

A watching this thread..... 2.5 year old dd1 goes into her cot without a peep for anyone except me. For me she calls em back a million times, saying things likei just need u mummy. If I leave and don't go back immediately she calls out then cries if I say it's bedtime. Am sure it's behavioural as no fuss for anyone else!! Tips spprecited

We had this problem and we use gradual re-treat really successfully. We still use it now when ds refuses to settle.
The key for me was to always make a movement towards the door even if it was an inch and the first time we did it I was stood outside the door for two weeks. but we achieved it without crying which was my goal.

In the beginning i would say good boy, mummy's here repeatedly and then i just re-treated silently. Closer to the door each night.

Also my husband made this rule if you are not lying down and sleeping, eg throwing dummies or soft toys at us then I left the room and shut the door. COunted to five and went back in, but he got the idea if you played around mummy was leaving.

My DDs were happy to settle on their own until they were two.

With DD1 I used to sit in the room with her for her to fall asleep until she was about 5. That was on the condition that there was no messing about - or I would leave - and if it took her a long time to get to sleep (wouldn't happen very often, normally took five minutes) then I would say I would come back and check on her in a few minutes. Then gradually I started sitting in the corner of the room, then just outside the room, then on the landing, then to be upstairs, then just be downstairs in the house as normal. If she got scared, she was allowed two call backs. If she didn't use her call backs then she got a treat.

With DD2 (3) I think we will start this process a bit sooner...but there is no law to say they have to go to sleep on their own at two.

Just find what works for you.

Me too. I have a nightmare of a 2.3 year old. Can be up to 2 hours of reading peppa fracking pig stories to her next to her bed. Recently moved her into a toddler bed complete with appealing peppa pig duvet set. She was a dream sleeper until 16 months, clearly I was too complacent at the time. This is karma

Lurking with interest. DD here is nearly 18mo and has bf to sleep since she was teeny. We then move her from my bed to her cot once she's got to sleep. She did occasionally wake up in her cot but DH could always settle her relatively easily most times with sitting and shush patting (never worked when I did it great excuse for DH to get up ). recently she's been waking up between when she goes to sleep and about midnight multiple times and just getting in a massive crying fit when DH tries to get her to sleep. She keeps crying mama and signing milk, so I've been doing an extra milk feed or 2 in the night to get her back to sleep. She's just tired I think but can't get herself back to sleep. We walk her to sleep in her buggy in the day so she never self settles.

We have no idea what to do. My hv told me last year the gradual retreat method is a bit of a last attempt type of thing and requires alot of time and patience and shouldn't be done lightly and to try other methods first.