how and when to night wean? 8 month old sleep. help!

[cheapandchic]

8 month old is finally eating a lot during the day. Mostly breastfed but since 7months has the occasional formula bottle.
She has recently jumped from 50 to 75 % and my GP suggested that she doesn't need feeding at night. I have been wanting to stop feeding at night.

At the moment she wakes just after midnight and usually again around 4am. She won't stop crying/fussing till she gets breast! Have let her go 1 hour before giving in. Recently bringing her in bed and cuddling has works for one of the wakings but not both.

Husband says why bother, just feed her back to sleep and everyone is happy. But I have never had a nights sleep and I know now she doesn't need it. How do you night wean? What worked? I don't mind letting her fuss, but more than one hour and I just want to get back to sleep!

please tell me what you do?

I managed to completely night wean my 8 month old DD couple of weeks ago. She was having 2 feeds, similar timing to yours. I dropped the midnight feed first and just cuddled her to sleep, usually kept her in bed with me from then on as I found it easier. About a week later I dropped the second feed as well and after couple of nights of fussing for half an hour she got used to not being fed.

Overall, It was much easier than I thought it would be. She has been sleeping much better, falling asleep around 6.30pm and sleeping till 4 - 5 at which point I just take her to bed with me and she sleeps til 6ish.

I was always tempted to just give in when she was crying but had to keep reminding myself that if I do, all her crying was for nothing and she will think that crying for a long time is what it takes to get her milk.

You might want to wait a few days till the weather is a bit cooler as she might be thirsty. I have a beaker with water by her cot and I try to get her to have a drink at least once a night when she stirrs, because I think 11 - 12 hours in this heat is too long without a drink.

Oh and I give her a bit of porridge or half a weetabix with some fruit as a pudding after dinner as I find it fills her up for the night.

Good luck!

I dropped the last feed at about 9.5 months when she basically just stopped going back to sleep reliably after feeding. I figured if we'd reAched that stage it was serving no useful purpose. I jus stopped and, evil mother that I am, left her alone instead! If that sounds harsh, We have always had early morning issues and strangely the more we do to help the worse it is - she is best when left to find her own way back to sleep if poss.

q- But this is the thing when I tried cuddling her in bed she just kept tugging at my breast and crying and bumping her head against me....this went on for 30 minutes and then I gave in.

Are you saying just don't give in? No matter how long they cry just don't feed??

It's a tough one, I definitely don't agree with letting a baby get distressed or scream for ages. Could your DH do the cuddling? Or timing the feeds is what some people do - say you start with 10 minutes each feed and cut down by a minute each night.
You can only do what you are comfortable with. I can recommend the Millpond book Teach your child to sleep for some useful tips. Or No Cry Sleep Solution for gentler methods.

my husband did try the cuddling. All I can say is sometimes it works (mainly when he takes her downstairs) and sometimes it doesn't.

last night was up at 23.00. I gave in and fed...and then she was wide awake! Playing, standing up in cot, "da,da,da," then crying for attention. I was so annoyed I fed her...bt then she lasted till 5am. Feed and then wake up at 6.45.

Now I am wondering if I should do a dream feed at 10.30pm... but it seems silly to start it now, only to try and drop it later. ugh! this is so difficult!

I am not at all precious, I am happy to let her cry a little. But I simply cannot let her scream...if only because then the whole house is awake and stressed ( I have other kids)

Do you feed her to sleep at bed time? I completely forgot to mention that my DD would only fall asleep while bf and it was the first thing we tackled, we now put her in her cot awake and gently jiggle her bum till she's asleep.

If you only ever feed to sleep like I did, she might briefly wake at night and not know any other way to get back to sleep if that makes sense.

My DD's sleep is still not by any means perfect and she is yet to completely self settle but it is so much better since I have managed to stop feeding to sleep.

no she is not fed to sleep. she goes to sleep 40 min after last feed and I cuddle a little. then put her down and rub her back/head and sit next to cot till she falls asleep.

in the middle of the night she just stands up and starts screaming and the back rubbing doesn't work.

Ok this week I am only feeding once between 7.30pm and 7am. So far has worked ok, mainly when husband cuddles/settles. But we can't seem to make it all night long...

My 9.5 month old ds stopped bf during the day about 6 weeks ago. Too nosy and he has three large meals a day. I decided to cut the middle of the night feed about a week later. I leave a bottle of water in his cot. He doesn't bother. About two weeks ago I dropped his morning waking breastfeed. I thought this would be easier to drop than the pre sleep one. I wore my dhs dressing gown for the first time and I gave him a bottle. Absolutely no problems. Since then he is awake for about 20 mins and he will take the bottle himself. He hasn't protested at all. Over the next couple of weeks I'll try dropping the final feed of the day. I've enjoyed exclusive breast feeding for almost 9 months, but off back to work soon and I would like my body back. I feel almost liberated, certainly through the day. I can wear proper nice clothes and not worry about what I'm wearing or where to feed him.
Do what you feel ready for.
Good luck

How do you know she doesn't need it? I reckon she does if she's getting hunger pangs.

A better approach is to reduce the timing of the feed over a few nights. That way she gets used to eating less at that time - less of a shock than going cold turkey.

But many many babies have night feeds at this age.

I am going through this too with my nearly 10 month old. She is down to one feed a night, but it ranges from any time between 10:30 & 4 am.
She definitely doesn't need it, I think it is just habit now, but I have been happy to continue with it as she would feed for 15 mins and be straight back to sleep again.
Lately however, she has been more difficult to get back to sleep and if she wakes at other times I am struggling to get her to sleep again. Last night she was awake between 10:30 and midnight.
So today I decided that enough was enough and the night bf has to go. I will be following this thread with interest.

My ds has one bf before bed around 7 to 8pm. I leave him a bottle of water in his cot for through the night if he wakes. I don't give him anymore milk, which is from a bottle and not breast milk, until around 6 to 7am. He has his main brekkie of cereal around 8. I have combined dropping the middle of the night feed with sleep training and fingers crossed, with the odd exception, all has gone well and he sleeps through. I haven't fed him through the night for over a month. He's happy, putting on weight so I don't see the problem.
Good luck if you're trying to sort it.

Hmm i would actually switch your feeds from midnight to a dreamfeed at 10.30 for a week and see if that gets you til morning with no wake ups. Surely that is a better scenario than dropping midnight feed and her waking at 5am or dropping the 5am but still needing to feed at midnight?

What you might find is that 10.30 feed gets her through to 6.30/7am or so. Dropping the 10.30 feed in a few months will be less traumatic as you can slowly reduce how long she gets, or cut out totally and it should hopefully just result in her waking a little earlier for her breakfast feed.

I night weaned at around 14mo. I've tried earlier but DD would just cry and cry until I fed her. The difference was huge at 14mo when I tried again. I picked her up, cuddled her, and she was completely happy with a cuddle and no bf. I phased it out over a week, replacing the bf with cuddles and going into our bed. After a week of cuddling and co-sleeping, I was 100% sure she doesn't need the night feed, and then I went onto re-settling her in the cot, instead of bringing her to our bed.

She was down to one feed through the night by 14mo btw. And the method I used Dr Jay Gorden's night weaning (a variation of it anyway). DD was completely happy with the cuddle on night 1 when I tried, so there's no crying anyway.

If you look at your LO, you can tell if she's really distressed without the bf, or just whining.

question for those that have managed to night wean, or partially night wean...

do you feed at 6am wake up or go straight to breakfast?

I have been going straight to breakfast at 6.45am because it seems 4 milk feeds per day is more than enough. But maybe I should feed at 6am and then cut out the middle of the night one? But am still not sure that will work

When I night weaned I didn't feed my ds anytime before 6. He then had about 5oz taking him up to half an hour to drink. We then had porridge and yoghurt around 7.30 to 8. Now he's at nursery Mon to Fri he has brekkie there around 8.30. He sleeps from 8pm ish to 6am every night. He knows he doesn't get fed and his in built alarm clock is set for 6. No matter what time he goes to bed. Weird, but wonderful.

We did it first time round by sending husband in armed with water and cuddles... Took five days before she was sleeping 7-7. Bracing myself for number two who has been a brilliant sleeper until two weeks ago when a cold and the teeth started coming . but now I'm sure she's waking out of habit so going to have to do it all over again :-(