Please help with transition from 2 naps to 1!

[brokenmummy]

DS is 13 mo and I suspect he is beginning to need less sleep. Sorry if this is long!

Routine up until 1yo was:
Wake 630, bf.
Breakfast 830am
Nap 945-1015ish
Lunch 1230
Sleep 1-230, bf
Dinner 5pm followed by 3-4oz cows milk
Bath 6pm
Bf 630
Bed 645.

Now he is waking later in the morning, more like 7-715.,
And refusing to nap until about 1015. If I let him sleep the full 30mins, he then won't go down until at least 2-230. Even if I cut the morning nap, he'll go down at 2. And he's only really napping for an hour now for this nap. If he wakes any time after 3pm it seems to delay bedtime by about 45 mins (i sit with him at bedtime and it used to take 5-10mins, now it's taking 45. I'd love for him to self settle like he does for naps but that's another story!)

So one day last week I tried just one nap, it was a bit of a struggle to keep him up til 1130am, he wouldn't eat much lunch before hand (tried an early lunch) and then only slept for half an hour! He did doze on me during a long bf afterwards tho. Then didn't want lunch!

Then, another struggle to keep him up til an early bedtime at 630, but he thought this was his second nap and woke after 50mins and was impossible to put down again! I remember having this problem when we went from 3 to 2 naps. I put it down to overtiredness at the time, but in hindsight I guess his routine was so ingrained that he didn't understand that he was dropping a nap. Anyway, the one nap day was a disaster, but increasingly so are the 2 nap days! Argh!

So does anyone have any tips on how to make the transition? I'm scared of putting him down before lunch in case he wakes hungry. Ideally I guess I want him to sleep 1230-230 but no idea how to get there. I should also mention he's been a catnapper since day one and only in the last 2-3 months has he slept for longer than 30mins.

Thanks!

OK I think you have a few choices here. If he's waking later you could go with the later morning nap, still capped at 30mins & then have a later afternoon nap & just accept a later BT. I think the reason it is taking so long ATM is because he's not tired enough. Doing this means you keep the 2 naps for a while longer.

Or you cap the morning nap shorter to say 15mins & see if he'll go down a bit sooner. I would expect if he naps at say 10-10.15am you should really be able to get him down at 1/1.30ish, however likely if he wakes at 7.15am both of the above 2 won't be an option bc you will just get outright refusal.

In that situation the only other option is to gradually make the transition to 1nap. If he's been used to having his first nap at 9.45am then its a big jump to go straight to 11.30am. So you could try doing nap at 10am for 3-5 days, then at 10.15 for 3-5 days, then at 10.30 & so on until he's napping at 11/11.30am. This will give him time to get used to the nap being later. Let him sleep at this nap for as long as he wants. While his nap starts before 11am he will likely need a short catnap at around tea time - keep it short or it will affect his bedtime. Once the morning nap is starting at 11/11.30 you can ditch the catnap & go with an early bedtime instead.

Once he is used to the 1 nap you can then work on gradually shifting it to lunchtime & BT will gradually shift back to the usual 7pm. It can be a rocky road getting there & there will inevitably be some OT, but within a few weeks he should adjust. Oh & if he seems to struggle, don't be afraid to throw in the odd 2nap day to keep him going. HTH.xx

That's really helpful omama, thank you.

It's not that he outrightly refuses to nap, he settles or naps quite well but he just gaffs around and plays for half an hour before going to sleep. So I put him down at 130, he finally drops off at 2pm.

I really want my evenings back! I know 745 isn't that late but I used to love relaxing at 7pm ad being able to get out by half past if we had a baby sitter.

Today he napped from 10-1025(I woke him), then 155-3pm, followed by 15 min sleepy bf. and he's only just gone to sleep at 745 ( I stupidly put him in his cot at 7pm. By the time he finally went off he'd gone from under tred to over tired and it was a real mission to help him wind down, lots of shush patting!

So, if I decide to go for option3 and delay morning nap until 1130, at what point do I stop waking him from morning nap? Eg tommorrow I reckon he could easily go til 1030. Do I just let him sleep and then give him a pm cat nap? In theory that sounds good, but then what if he wakes naturally after 30mins, then what do I do in the afternoon? Give him another 30mins at 2pm, but wake him? Even waking at 3pm today was too late for a decent bedtime. He was bright and happy all afternoon, I don't think he was tired at all by 7pm.

He seems so young to be going to one nap! I was hoping when that happened I'd start to get 1-3 to myself but that doesn't look likely if it's going to push bedtime later?

Incidentally, this bedtime resistance has also conincided with me intentionally stopping feeding to sleep. He's terrible ag settling at bedtime without my hand on him, despite being great at naptime. I'm fairly sure that if I carried on feeding him he'd eventually fall asleep on me an much earlier than 745.
The problem with that is that he then doesn't sleep through! Argh it's one thing after another!!

My DD was about the same age. Morning nap was never an issue but I bit the bullet when it became really hard to get her down in the afternoon. I did what you seem to have tried, keep her up as long as poss which initially meant having a late lunch. I too was worried about hunger so I just used to feed her up as much as possible in the morning, eg cream cheese sarnie and/or banana. It felt like we would never get back to normality and we couldn't really go anywhere in case she fell asleep, but in reality it only took about three weeks before I could reliably keep her up til after lunch. She's now 16 months and still sometimes we have lunch at 11.30 and she does fall asleep in the pushchair or car in the mornin so I have to be careful. But I'm glad I did it, she now usually takes 5 mins to fall asleep and sleeps for about 1hr45 - she too has been a 30min girl most of her life.

WRT his age, my DS started 1 nap days at 12 months & would have 2 naps if he was getting overtired. By about 14 months he only had 2 naps if he was poorly & by 15months we were solidly on 1 nap.

WRT the bedtime settling - it certainly could be related to stopping feeding to sleep, how long has it been? I do think though, that if he did go to sleep earlier with a feed, he'd probably just wake earlier. These little ones are so tricky lol!

If you are going to delay the morning nap I would let him sleep. If he sleeps at say 10.30 for lets say 1.5hrs then I'd probably try for another nap around 4ish (watch him for when he gets tired of course!) but keep it fairly short, 30-45mins max or you may find it interferes with bedtime. If he wakes naturally from his AM nap after just 30mins I'd say give him another nap in the afternoon of around an hour or so. The longer he naps the later his BT may need to be, but I wouldn't intentionally cut that nap to 30mins or I think it will make him overtired. All being well, as the nap gradually shifts later he will sleep for longer & longer.

Like fifi says, we also had to be creative with lunchtime, so we'd do a big snack before nap & then a late lunch at around 1pm, then when he could manage to stay up til 12 he'd have an early lunch at 11.30ish. We also had a phase where we couldn't really go out in the car in the mornings between 10am & naptime because he'd just fall asleep, but it doesnt last long. And the freedom that 1 nap gives you is great - so much more time to get out & about.

Thank you both! So glad to know others have done it at this age. I think I'm going to go with that plan - keep him up a little longer each day and stop waking him from the am nap.

It's been about 3-4 weeks since I tried to stop feeding to sleep. Initially we tried CC which only worked for the first few days, then he just got more and more upset. So we decided to go down the gradual retreat road, but I havent really progressed from shush pat. While on holiday last week we took a bit of a step back - I didn't completely feed to sleep but just put him down in a drowsy milky state so he was going to sleep really quickly. Also I had been making more of an effort to cut the am nap to 15 mins - so I know that tactic does work, but it doesn't seem to get any closer to one nap. Which I think he's ready for and u definitely am! I just hope he makes it a long one :)

Will report back tommorrow!

Argh! He woke at 615!

So today so far has been a bit of a disaster, he woke at 615, then I kept him going til 1030 but he only slept 45 minutes - so now he probably won't go down until 230... Pushing bedtime back again.

I hope we're not going back to 6am starts... Could that be another sign he's dropping a nap, or that he's overtired? There'a such a fine line!

Right. So today was a bit pants. He slept 1030-1115, then 230-315. He was in a foul mood all day, possibly over tired? He effectively slept 2 hrs less than normal over night last night, what with the late night and early morning. Tonight he pretty much conked out after bf at 715.

I'm beginning to think its less about beung undertired and more about learning to stand/walk? He just can't control himself in his cot at the moment! I lay him down, he pops up. He's not walking yet.

I wa having more success with capping am nap at 15 mins then an hr-1.5hrs at around 130. So I'd I stick with that for a few weeks, what's the next step towards a one nap day?

sorry only just seeing this. Sorry its not going so well. If you feel he is getting overtired, you could by all means stick with the 15min morning nap.

WRT your Q about what is the next step to 1 nap a day, I would hang onto your 15min nap for as long as you can, you could possibly even cap at 10mins (I know of others who did this though it didn't seem worth it to me) and when he refuses to go down for it anymore then you just do the 1 nap. & you do what was suggested above, put him down earlyish at say 11-11.30 (depending on wakeup time but I'd say no more than 5hrs from when he woke for the day), let him nap & then do an early bedtime. Over time you can gradually push the nap to lunchtime & bedtime back towards 7pm.