rapid return doesn't work?

[dappply]

takes on a three year old who won't stay in his bed at bedtime?

We've been rapidly returning DS to his new bed for about a month now, first time out of his cot. it's still every night we have to put him back 50 odd times. or some nights we'll think he's cracked it and it'll be 4 times. but then back to square 1. Usually it's a big game to him and he'll laugh at us returning him for an hour or so, getting increasingly excited and overtired until one or all three of us are in tears. Or if it's been a couple of hours we sometimes give up (usually my husband does. grrr) and put him in his cot, where he sleeps instantly without any fuss.

He's gone to bed fine since he was a baby without any fuss. But his new bed and it's associated freedom is too much fun.
It's driving me mad, I need him to go to bed for my sanity as I have a new baby too (8 weeks old and goes to bed fine at 8pm) , and for his sanity ( he still wakes early even if he runs around till 930pm, and is overtired) I enjoy my evenings without him, i don't want him around all night?

I'm not generally a panderer, I think sleep's non negotiable so had just been keeping going with rapid return as I thought he'd get the message eventually. but he doesn't seem to be doing. but it's been 5 weeks now and it's still a nightmare. Tried stickers, he's not fussed. Tried getting angry. He's doesn't care. His bedtime routine is still exactly the same as it was before the baby was born, except of course she's there while he's having a bath/story.He still has a nap, usually 1-2 hours. Seems to really need it, struggles on days he misses it . I need him ti have it too.

Any ideas ?

We moved our toddler to a bed when she was 2 exactly. It was fine for the first 6 months as she didn't realise she cod get out :) then suddenly it changed and we had exactly the problems you described (accompanied with the arrival of a new baby too).

We allowed her to sit in bd with a story and left the light on for a bit. She seemed to like the independence of this and would nod off or settle herself down when she was ready. She does still muck about from time to time running in and out but its fairly good natured. Things have got even better now as we've put the two children in together and she knows she can't mess about or she'll wake the baby up. Will prob be a disaster tonight !!!

Good luck

Have you tried putting a side bar on? We did with DS and it seemed to give him that sense of enclosure that he had in the cot.
www.amazon.co.uk/The-Lindam-Safe-Secure-Bedrail/dp/B000KY7XEW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343066761&sr=8-1

Do you need the cot otherwise I'd just let him sleep in it. He's not going to want to be in it for ever. That was the one sway we had over DS - that if he didn't stay in his bed I would put the bars back on (it was a cot bed) - it really helped. So he's got to want to do it I suppose.

If you need two cots - it's worth noting that I got our cotbed off of ebay for £15 and a cot for DD on ebay for £10. I subsequently sold the cot for £25 and made a profit.....so you could always get a v cheap one for your daughter.

Or the other thing that has worked for us is withdrawing any privileges such as television or a favourite toy, but you have to be quite hard core and mean :)

Good luck - it's a total faff.

tis a total faff yes! grrr

tonight he got out about 20 times, and then settled down for a half hour, then started getting out again and after about 5 times asked to sleep in his cot. :-(

don't need the cot yet no, the baby is in a baby hammock and hopefully will be for a few months yet. But I'd really like him to be in his bed though, so he's got time to get used to it by the time she gets the cot. och well

Good idea about the bed guard, might try and get one of those. Although tis a bit galling after spending £200 on the bed, mattress and bedding to spend more!

i've tried encouraging him to read in bed, or take a toy to bed. He looks interested but then as soon as the doors closed he's out of bed and running to open it. Gah. What goes on in that little head?

We put a stairgate on ds1's bedroom for a short while after moving him to a bed, otherwise he would appear downstairs at all times looking very pleased with himself! then we just started leaving it open, and took it off when he stopped coming out. I guess this will only work if he decides to stay in the bed, within the room though. :-)