Sitting here with poor, overtired DD who is 17 weeks. She's been a sleep fighter since birth, struggled with awful colic and reflux, is generally high need and likes a lot of body contact both day and night. I'm trying my best to meet her needs, but it's hard as I'm on my own with no friends or family to help. DH is wonderful but works long days with an hour's commute each way.
Basically, in desperate pursuit of sleep for DD and to keep the fussiness from escalating, I've resorted to just doing whatever works. Naps are usually in sling, pram or lap - she can only be awake for about 2 hours max before the tired signs start happening - eye rubbing, yawning, fussiness. But unfortunately just dropping her in the cot at the first sign of tiredness, patting and shushing does nothing but upset her more. She'll easily fall asleep nursing or in bed next to me, but will wake if moved. If not moved, the naps tend to last only 20-30 minutes, then she wakes up, still tired.
I generally start "bedtime" between 6 and 7 with warm bath, baby massage, lullabies, and a bf - but still, she fights sleep or if she drifts off wakes within 10-20 minutes of dropping off. Last night we worked on it from 7-10:30. Cycle of feed, rock, put down, shush pat, wake, cry, nurse again, etc. I could probably cope better with the 3-4 hours it takes to get her down if we could get a solid block of night sleep, but she rarely goes more than 3 hours. Bad nights she'll wake hourly.
I'm co sleeping for much of the night but struggle with it. I've been having a lot of post natal anxiety, and frequently wake with nightmares that something has happened to DD. The sleep deprivation feeds the anxiety, and then the anxiety makes it harder to sleep, it's a really vicious cycle. I do meditate and get out for walks each day, which helps a bit - it's still a real struggle though.
I did broach this with HV recently who was pretty unsympathetic, said that the problem was of my own making as I've fed, cuddled, rocked to sleep and DD hasn't learned to self settle. But honestly, I don't think all babies can do that, especially this young. I have tried putting DD down when sleepy and then leaving her be, but she doesn't sleep, she cries. And not whimpery little cries for 10 minutes until she drops off, but full on, terrified screaming and I can't bear leaving her like that - so gave up on that and continue helping her to sleep however I can.
Sorry so long, I know the only answer is to ride it out but just needed to get this out as lacking in RL support, Thanks for reading.