how do we NOT cry-it-out?

[Rubeywednesday]

I have a constantly over-tired 5 month old DD. She sleeps fine at night (once I eventually get her off) only wakes for 1 feed then straight back to sleep till 6/7am.

The problems are at nap time, and getting her off to sleep on evening - she has refused all attempts at a routine and genuinely seems tired at different times each day, but I try to stick to a rough schedule of 3 naps a day and a 6pm bed-time, and I watch her like a hawk for signs of tiredness. What we usually get is an hour or two of screaming and fighting followed by a 20 minute nap.

She is very tired and pink eyed and grumpy most of the day. In the middle of her crying fits she won't let me console her, or hold her, or is interested in an extra feed. She takes no interest in her dummy or cuddly toy. I often just have to put her down on her own while she thrashes around and let her cry it out because she is so worked up she doesn't want anything from me. Eventually she wears herself out and will drop off but I feel she's too little to cry on her own like that, although I can't sit there helpless next to the crib while she screams for ages! Other than taking her out on the buggy 4 times a day I'm a little bit at a loss.

Anyone else seen this sort of tantrum on a little baby?! Is it a phase? its been going on for a couple months now and I don't think she's teething yet.

Hi Rubyw, hang in there, its very normal! Babies sleeping patterns are all different and your dd does sound like she is having so much fun she gets herself overtired and hasnt found her way to soothe herself to sleep. My Dc2 does the very same thing so I can empathise! He is 9 mths now and I try not to stress as much as I did with dc1. They go through these phases every few months. Hope other mums can offer some practical advice for you too.

My 5 month old was like this. I took her out in her buggy 4 times a day! Or used a sling or the car. Occasionally she would feed to sleep for a nap providing I held her the whole time.

It was exhausting but she grew out of it! Once she hit 7onths or so, she went to 2 naps a day and still doesn't have set nap times. Now she naps on the go if we are out and about. If we are at home I have to feed her to sleep then put in her cot or wear her in the sling to sleep then put her down.

She is gradually getting there without me having to leave her to cry. It's been hard work for me but gentle for her.

It must be very hard to see her like that... can you try, for one or two weeks, to forget about 3 naps a day and a fixed bedtime, and just let her nap whenever she wants to? Write everything down, to see if she settles into a different routine. Also, try to get her to sleep, by any means, before she has a meltdown, even if she doesn't seem tired. Sometimes at that age DS would drop off if I started rocking him.

Also, a 20 minute nap is not enough, but it's developmental, most children seem to grow out of this around 7 months. Have you tried resettling her (again, by all means, rocking, singing, etc) to see if she goes back down? You would have to catch her the moment she wakes up though, so she's still sleepy.

thanks guys. Really glad to find out we're not the only ones not on a schedule yet.....

Hi! Sounds like my DD - a total sleep-fighting little toad. When she wakes up we try to get her to sleep for nap after about 2 hours. She feeds every 3 hours and then we get her to sleep between the feeds. It's often a fight, but so worth it if we win.

To get her to sleep is a constant challenge. Our's is a thraser too. So it helps to put her in a carrier and walk around. Other times she lies on a stomach and we rock her vertically with one hand on her bottom and shhhhhh in a swaddling blanket, which has worked miracles even in the day. She really calms down if we rock her in the swaddling blanket with a dummy. I noticed a huge difference between trying to get her to sleep when her little legs and arms could flailing around and when they were strapped down. This what I use

www.amazon.co.uk/Summer-Infant-SwaddleMe-Large-Wrap/dp/B000HED5MO/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1342813580&sr=8-7

By the way, for our little toad lovely girl putting her down by herself or just walking in the pram just doesn't work and only makes the neighbours or fellow shoppers think that I am murdering her. You aren't alone :)