Help me establish a new bedtime routine before I go insane!

[missjackson]

Currently I bath 3.5yo DS and 16mo DD together. Then set DS up in his room with books to look at or farmyard set to play with, ask him to stay in his room, then take DD into our room where I read her baby books, give her a beaker of milk, brush teeth, then lie with her until she's asleep. If that takes 10 mins, all is fine. If it takes longer, DS gets bored, comes in, DD wants to play, I have to start whole thing again. When DD finally asleep, I read DS 2 books and then leave him to go to sleep, and he's fine. Later in the evening I move DD to her bed in DS room, and the two of them sleep there.

But the whole bedtime routine is taking me up to 2 hours, I am 32 weeks pg, DH works most evenings, and I am absolutely fed up and knackered.

DD is the problem really - waiting for her to fall asleep takes forever, but she is a lively little thing and takes ages to wind down. She never slept in a cot (we co-slept for 1 year) and now freaks out if I put her in it, and I can't just leave her in our big bed as she'll just get up and out. If I try reading them the same book together, she won't sit still and ruins story-time for DS, which usually is a really lovely time for us. She loves her baby books, but they are way too young for DS.

So how do I somehow combine their bedtime routines to cut the whole thing down massively and have a moment to myself before I conk out?! And at some point I am going to have to add a newborn to the mix... just the thought makes me feel desperate!

we down load audio books, while reading to one, the other has an audio book,

then we swap to the one of others,and an audio book goes on for the one I've just left, they all have player in their room.

it does really seem to help, as long as you choose books they really like.

Try biting the bullet and putting her to bed in her bed after stories and leaving her to it - probably gradually, starting with staying with her, then withdrawing over a few days. Let him watch tv and warn him it could take a while until she gets used to it. Or read her baby books in their bedroom and then him his books and leave them both to it. Accept it will be a nightmare for a while but they'll adapt, hopefully before the baby arrives. I think the best thing is to try and think what you'd ideally like and then try and work out what steps will get you there. I think 16 months is a bit of a nightmare time for self settling anyway, ds3 certainly went through a week or so of taking ages to get to sleep. So I kind of think you don't have anything to lose by taking the opportunity to establish something new.

Thank you for the suggestions - sadly I think audio books a little way off for DD - she doesn't yet follow a story, just likes looking at pictures and making animal sounds etc (16 mos). But underground I think you are right, I just need to aim for my ideal scenario and consistently let them know what I am expecting. I really need this sorted before the new baby. I'll update you!