Help me with 9month old DS, I am desperate! Tell me your routine with your DC please.

[reddaisy]

DS is ebf and mostly blw as he refuses to be spoonfed and we have been mostly co-sleeping until a couple of weeks ago.

I now want him to sleep in a cot as he grazes all night and I cannot get any rest with him next to me anymore. But he screams and screams if he is put in his cot. Last night he screamed for most of the night (we were doing CC for the third night) and finally went to sleep at 4am when I cracked and brought him in with us.

DP wants me to give up bf as it is obvious that he is using me for comfort. I don't want to give up but I do need sleep as I am going mad with exhaustion. His naps have always been rubbish as he is a catnapper particularly as we are always dashing round after 3yo dd.

Today I am trying to get him into a routine so he was up at 540 am then he napped for 30mins from 8-830. Then I took him to a playgroup to tire him out, lunch at 1130 then managed to keep him awake until after dd finished preschool and put him down at 1230 and he is still asleep which is unheard of.

Should I try to get him to nap again this afternoon? He normally goes to bed at 7pm and he doesn't have a bath every night usually but I am going to start a bath, book, bfeed routine tonight to help him wind down.

I don`t expect him to sleep through but it would be v v nice but I need him to settle in his cot. Experience and advice appreciated!

Anyone? He napped well at lunchtime (1hour 40) which is unheard of and we had a busy afternoon at softplay then bath, book and bed at 645 but he is currently crying in his cot upstairs :-(

Have you tried the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley?

No. I have done shushing and patting which works until I stop and then he wakes up again and a bit of CC.

I've got a copy that i bought when DD was a baby that you can have if you want. I couldn't be bothered to read it - too bloody tired

I think the issue with doing a 'bit of CC' and then changing your mind is that your baby ends up getting confused.

Sounds very tough! Here's my routine for my DD who is also 9 months.

7am up and bottle
8am breakfast
8.30 nap (about 30mins)
11.30am lunch
12 noon nap (about 1.5 hours)
2.30/3pm bottle
4/4.30pm nap (about 30 mins)
5pm tea
6.30/7pm bath, bottle, bed.

I recently posted on her about her not always having her morning nap and it was suggested I try to push this one back to about 9/9.30. I'm starting to do this, so this will mean that lunch time will gradually become later and I think the theory is, that she will drop the late afternoon nap at sometime in the foreseeable future.

Is that any use to you? Happy to answer any questions you have about it.

That is really kind of you. Thank you. Would you like me to paypal you for it and the postage?

And that is definitely the problem as we used CC at bedtime but in the night around the third feed/wake he invariably ends up in bed with us as I just can't bear the crying and the disruption to the household/neighbour.

How did you sort your DDs sleep?

Thanks Mermaid. That looks like a proper routine! I think I have been going with the flow too much with DS and now the sleep deprivation is making me crack I want to get his naps and sleep sorted.

Do you put your dd down in her cot? Does she cry? How well does she sleep at night?

She goes in her pushchair for the two short naps and her cot for the longer lunchtime one. She generally sleeps pretty well at night and doesn't cry often.

I'm very glad about how well she sleeps, however I would say that I sometimes feel a bit bound by my routine and wish I could go with the flow a bit more. It's hard being a parent isn't it? I never feel I'm getting it right!

She was a bit iffy about going in her cot at six months, so I put her Moses basket (with her in it) in the cot for the first few weeks. When she started taking her long nap in her cot, I put aside a week where I didn't make any plans to do much and just made that my focus. Took her about 3-4 days to be totally settled into it.

I really hope you get it sorted. Sounds like you've your hands full!

We very much did a follow the baby routine, and fitted round the toddler. I bf on demand, and we half blw - if I'd use fingers or fork, he used fingers. If I'd use a spoon, he got spoon fed.

I can't quite remember where we were 5 months ago, but think we did a morning snooze of about an hour, and an afternoon nap of about an hour. He then went to bed about 7.30, and often slept til 5 (amazing compared to DS1).

That was a lot of information to suggest you use "dirty" sheets in the cot - blankets etc that have already been in your bed, and maybe a bottom sheet you have also slept on so it smells right.

What would happen if you co slept, but had a bra and teeshirt on? ie Mummy there but no milk?

He would cry and paw at me, sit up and start roaming around the bed if he doesn't get what he wants. It takes someone stronger than me to refuse to feed when it is often the quickest route back to sleep but in the long term I don't think co-sleeping is any good for us anymore. There is too much co and not enough sleeping.

He has got my worn nightie in bed with him tonight but sadly he is crying again as he woke up when I took DD to bed.

I actually dread going to bed now as we get no sleep and it is making me and DP grumpy and snappy.

Ok, sounds like your a long way ahead of where we had to go with DS2.

DS1, well, he was, and is, a nightmare. Still not got that sorted. Hope you get it sorted soon. Its horrendous.

My DS is 9 months and we only really started a routine about 6 weeks ago, prior to this, were v baby-led. Our routine is almost exactly the same as Mermaid's except his morning nap is 9.30 and I limit the morning and late afternoon naps to 20 mins. It does feel counterintuitive waking him up when I have spent so long wishing he would sleep! But I think it does help him be ready for bed at 7pm.

His sleep at night has never been great but has got spontaneously better over the last few weeks. I don't know if this is due to the daytime routine, or just him growing up and changing, but I'm not complaining!

Good luck, I hope things improve soon.

Thank you. The exhaustion is sucking my ability to enjoy the DC out of my life. Every day is a long slog.

We fed her to sleep until 14mo, and that was when she started sleeping through. We tried CC, that didn't work, shush pat didn't work, and after one night of trying gently rocking, singing, shushing and anything else we could think of for two hours with her getting more and more wound up, I put her in the cot, went downstairs and left her to it. Did that the following day for nap (until then she'd been napping badly in the living room) and by day 3 she was napping for 90 mins in the day and sleeping 12ish hours at night.

So, CIO was what we resorted to, it wasn't nice but it worked, DD was old enough to understand we hadn't left the house and she still loved us in the morning. Hopefully we won't need to do it with DS.

Dont worry about paying for the book - PM me your address and I'll pop it in the post. Lots of people on here rave about it so maybe it'll work for you

You are brave admitting to CIO on MNet

That is what I have basically done with DS tonight as nothing else seems to soothe him and I think he just needs to learn to go to sleep by himself. DD was reassured with CC but he gets very angry when I disappear again.

Thanks for the support and I will PM you my address. DP is finally home from work and he is cooking tea and DS is quiet for now!

Hi Reddaisy, I'm a bit late to the discussion. I just wanted to add that my DS is a complete pain when it comes to sleep, but he does sleep in his cot which is a small relief, though I often bring him into bed with me after 6am. It took me about two weeks to get him used to the cot - I made the switch from moses basket in our room to cot in own room after a weekend away where he had been very happy in a travel cot. I found that by doing a lot of playing in the room with the cot in the day, and sometimes also napping with him or even the odd night sleeping on the floor of the room with the cot was the best way to get sleep and keep DS in the cot. We use the NCSS book as a guide and I think the advice is great, though I also find that sometimes CIO is a necessity. I wish I could get my DS to sleep properly at night so I have every sympathy with you.