What advice have you been given about co sleeping?

[used2bthin]

I have recently had DD2 and was given a leaflet about co sleeping safely whilst breastfeeding from the hospital. Midwife who visited me at home said its now recognised that its not realistic to tell mums not to co sleep so they now advise on doing it safely, and that mums have an instinct to not roll on them. Second midwife came ad said the same.

I then told the health visitor that sometimes DD2 comes in with me but I am following advice on doing this safely. She was really alarmed and came back today reiterating what she had said last week, its really not advised, sorry I have had conflicting messages but she really needs to let me know it is not safe etc etc.

Just wondered what others have been told?

FWIW I have DD2 in a crib by the bed and aim for her to be in that but hve brought her in with me in the early hours so that I can get a bit more sleep a few times.

Ignore your hv. You are doing nothing wrong, especially if you are following the leaflet given to you by the hospital.

We were sent home from hospital with dd under strict instruction not to co-sleep so we took turns to stay awake as she wouldn't settle (PFB). When I told my midwife this she gently told me off and said to do what we need to do to get some rest.

Just ignore her. I don't "cosleep" exactly, just bring DD3 in with me when she wakes and I feed her and we both fall back to sleep. You know how to do it safely, so don't worry about her - the hv.

The important thing is to read all the safe co-sleeping advice and follow that. I was given all sorts of conflicting advice on all sorts of things - I think the only thing to do is read carefully and make your own mind up.

thanks,was hoping that people would say that!

I also did the staying wke thing with DD1! It was exhausting and the lack of sleep was a factor in me not being that well at the time I am sure-I was really obsessive about something happening to her and very much don't want to get like that again as it went on for years.

Harecare thats kind of what I do - I feed lying down intending to put her back in bed then I fall asleep.

Only thing that worries me a bit is I keep finding she has kind of curled in to me which I know is another no no as she should be on her back not side.

littlebluechair it is conflicting isn't it, its very hard to decide who to beleive!

I keep meaning to look on the FSIDS website but am a bit worried it will start my obsessive worrying again!

This HV has a bit of an irritating way with words too which doesn't help, I find her quite patronising and she puts things in the worst way. Oh well she is coming out once more then it will be just down to me to decide when I see her.

I'm probably a little late for this thread, but I am in sweden and we are given the opposite advice. The midwife eyebrows went upwards when I said that we wanted DD to sleep in a cot by herself and was told gently (in sweden you are not told off - but gently advised, which is equal to a proper finger wagging in the UK) that she was too young to be by herself and should be in the bed with us.

I find it interesting that the advice in the UK concerns the physical safety of the child, but in sweden it is the emotional well-being of the child that it important.

My argument when an english relative questions co-sleeping is to ask them if they don't worry about hurting themselves by falling out of bed night. Then they realise that we have a natural instinct even when asleep.

We sometimes co sleep too in the early hours and although when we fall asleep DD is quite far away from me on her back when I waken she has somehow made her way across to me and is curled up right next to me on her side which does alarm me a bit

the HV is just doing her job-you are perfectly entitled to ignore her. My HV made me cry every time she visited after DD was born with her comments about co-sleeping. I learned not to mention it :)

I followed the advice in the leaflet you mentioned and read lots of articles about co-sleeping on Dr Sears/kellymom website.