3 month old baby's sleep pattern getting worse! Waking up 4+ times in night, please help!

[Clairebwfc]

Hi there,

I'm new to posting but hoping you can help.

My 14 week old baby was doing well and going in the right direction with sleep at 8 weeks - bed at 7pm, wake at 10.30pm for dream feed, then sleep until 4am for middle of night feed then sleep until 7am.

However in the last 4 weeks or so, this has been deteriorating. He is also not feeding particularly well during the day where it's difficult to get a full feed down him, although I've been working on this and it's improved in the last week or so.

The last week or so, he has been waking up at 10pm crying as he's hungry (in spite of a good feed at 7pm and feeding well during the day), then waking again at midnight or 1am crying for milk. Some nights he's slept again until 6am or so, but last night he woke at 4am, so I left him, but he literally moaned and groaned for 1.5 hours. Just when i though he'd settled himself, he started grizzling again. In the end I picked him up and gave him a bottle which he drank greedily but only drank 60ml before falling asleep! When he woke at 7am he then wouldn't drink his breakfast bottle.

He has been under the weather for the last 10 days as he has had his second bout of injections, so this could be contributing. He has also developed a bit of reflux so the doctor has prescribed Gaviscon which seems to be helping this.

I don't know if his waking constantly is habit related, (but it's only one he's learned in the last week), or if he really is hungry in the night. I am trying to let him self settle but he can go for hours moaning and grizzling, sometimes shouting out.

I can't go on with this much broken sleep for much longer, I am completely shattered. Does anyone have any advice on how to settle him, or better still, help him sleep through? At this age, surely he should only be waking up once in the night or even sleeping from the late feed to the morning feed.

Thank you for any advice :)

He's only 14 weeks, he can't self-settle so there's no point leaving him to cry. If he needs a bottle and/or a cuddle, why not give it to him?

There's no "should" with babies, and I haven't known a 3 month old to sleep through from my friends/family. Unfortunately babies wake in the night, that's just part of the deal.

He's still very young, you are expecting a lot to ask him to sleep through justr yet!

Best advice I was given when mine were young is
"never wake a sleeping baby"

If he'd hungry he'll wake & chances are its a combination of feeling out of sorts following jabs & a growth spurt.

It is knackering having a young one, sleep when he sleeps to top up your rest. Have you a DH/DP who could take a turn as he's bottle fed. At w/ends at least?

If he's using the bottle as a comforter and only taking a bit he could be a "sucky" baby. I hate the things but dummy's have a useful place & if it hel[s him settle so you both sleep then go for it!

Ultimately repeat the mothers mantra (usually while rocking)

"It's only a phase, it's only a phase"

Well he's sleeping better than my 10 month old, if it makes you feel any better!

Thanks ladies - really appreciate your advice. Think I'm finding it hard as he was doing so well a few weeks ago. And if it's not hunger, there must be something else waking him up. The difficulty is working out what it is! Does he not like where he's sleeping, has he tummy ache, wind, is he just bored etc etc. He has a dummy sometimes and it does soothe him, but I was getting into a situation where he woke and cried when it fell out......

My DH had him for the night on Saturday, I had a lovely sleep which was great.

I love the 'only a phase' mantra. Here's hoping.

Sometimes they just wake up because they are tiny little babies and they need some reassurance that mummy is there in the night - remember that as a species we evolved to keep our babies with us at night.

He sounds a little like my 16 week DD, though a bit better actually! She's never been a great sleeper but we did have a little improvement from around 10-14 weeks when she was sleeping about 8-2, then around 3-5, then about 6-8. Lately thought she doesn't settle until between 9-10, then wakes around 1, then sleeps until 4, waking for the day between 6-7. It's rough. DH and I split the nights up a bit, she'd bf but fortunately takes a bottle and so he does the 1am feed and settles her back down. She sleeps in a bedside cot, but usually comes in with me in the wee hours when the wakings are more frequent.

There's so much going on with them at this age, with development and growth. I've been reading the Wonder Weeks book and learning a bit about unsettled times and developmental leaps. Sleep regression is pretty common around 4 months I think.

Sleep is important though so try to get some strategies in place, Can DH help out a bit more in the night? Do you have any friends or family who could come by for an hour or two in the day so you can catch up on some rest?

I believe it's pretty rare for young babies to sleep through the night at such a young age - unless their parents are extremely lucky! I was my mum's first and didn't sleep through until I was over a year old. My sister slept 12 hours almost solid from 6 weeks. Mum did exactly the same with both us - so it was pure luck!

Can your LO come into bed with you for a bit of the night? Leaving him to cry for 1.5 hours in the night could be very distressing at such a young age. If he's closer to you, he may settle easier and everyone might get more rest as a result.

Sending you support. It's rough. Hang in there!

It's definitely a balance isn't it - he was a little bit better last night. Bed at 7pm, dream feed at 10.30pm as normal, he woke briefly crying at midnight but settled really quickly, then woke at 2pm for a feed. He then woke at about 6.30 but was happy just chatting to himself for about 20 minutes. Definite progress.

I wouldn't leave him crying very long at all, it's just trying to tell the difference between a bit of moaning and proper crying. Getting there though!

It's the pure exhaustion which gets you isn't it. My DH says he will do tonight, and he normally does 1 night a week at the weekend. It's difficult though as he has to concentrate at work. But he is very supportive so I'm lucky.

Thanks so much for all your words of support :)

Have you tred cluster feeding in the evenings?