Any tips for Ferberizing??

[moominmama86]

I've tried everything to get my 6-month-old ds to sleep better and nothing has made the slightest bit of difference. He is still waking at least twice a night for feeds, if not more, and also has almost non-existent naps - 30 mins at the most unless he's being held. The poor little soul is sooo cranky all the time from exhaustion and it just doesn't seem to be getting any better. I've tried pacifiers, swaddling, white noise, cranial osteopathy, aromatherapy (!) - nothing works. So, after saying over and over how opposed I was to the idea of any form of controlled crying, I'm pretty much at the end of my tether and seriously considering taking the plunge.

But before I do, I would love to know other people's experiences of cc. Also, how do I go about 'setting up' the first night? Do I go through his usual bedtime routine but wake him if he falls asleep at the breast before I put him in the cot? Should I put on his white noise machine as usual? Is 1 minute too short a time to wait before the first 'visit' to him? How far can one go with the comforting - I know picking up is out of the question but what did other people do? And, of course, how long did it take your dd/ds to learn to fall asleep alone???

Sorry for all the questions but I really need to feel confident about my ability to do this before I go through with it!!

I don't think you need to forego the breastfeed before bed (I didn't until much MUCH later). Weissbluth is good to read on this, he says babies are smart enough to know that they get a snack before bed and not in the middle of the night. I would just do your usual bedtime routine if it works - although would have thought at 6 mths a white noise machine wouldn't be so effective anymore? Maybe a tape of lullabies?

For naps, you can do CC, but I would limit the time, otherwise you can be there all day! If after an hour it isn't working, then get him up, put him in the buggy and go for a walk.

I did CC with DS at 6.5mths - shifted him into his own room at the same time. He used to wake at around 11, 3 and 5. I cut out the 3am feed first - just went down and shushed him after 5min, then left him crying, went back in etc etc. I would wait slightly longer than 1min, because my DS sometimes squawks in his sleep and then goes back to sleep if left. I found DS got even more upset if picked up and then put down again, so I just stuck to stroking and shush-ing.

After he'd dropped that one and was sleeping through, I did the 5am one, although DS was/is a very early waker, so really just pushed it off to about 6am. I dropped the 11pm one last of all, and that was actually very easy. I think the whole thing took about a week, maybe a bit longer.If you are keen, read Weissbluth as well as Ferber, he is quite a bit tougher (advocates "crying it out", ie shutting the door and walking away, which I don't think many people here would do), but is good on why you must get your baby to sleep more (naps as well as night-time) for their own mental health.

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Ferber does say stop the night feeds before you sleep train and I have to say I do agree. Otherwise you just can't tell if they are hungry or not. I did it by spacing the feeds out more and more by offering cuddles instead (btw my ds was not one of those babies who woke, fed for five mins then went back to sleep for six hours - mine woke and fed until I couldnt' bear it anymore then stayed awake for a couple of hours just for fun... if he'd been the former type of baby I would have been pretty happy). Anyway! I started by not feeding between, say midnight and 5am and then increased the time - this took a few nights. Then we didn't really do the cc - we left him after an initial visit to check for cold, wet etc as going in just made him frantic. At six months he simply refused to go back to sleep - he cried for hours and it was horrific. At eight months, we did it again and he barely cried when he woke - I remember the longest period of crying was 20 mins, and most of that half-heartedly. I think you have to decide what you can do emotionally, and you will need he support of your partner. Does the white noise work for you? It didn't for us. If he still wakes and it doesn't help him go to sleep, I'd ditch it personally.

The single best tips for naps I found was Gina Ford's suggestion that you put a baby down to sleep exactly two hours after it wakes, even if it doesn't seem tired. It worked for my ds. I just put him down with his dummy in his cot, shh'd and patted him and left. He'd usually cry for a minute or two and then sleep. It was a revelation to me!

The single best tips for naps I found was Gina Ford's suggestion that you put a baby down to sleep exactly two hours after it wakes, even if it doesn't seem tired. It worked for my ds. I just put him down with his dummy in his cot, shh'd and patted him and left. He'd usually cry for a minute or two and then sleep. It was a revelation to me!

Thanks everyone - it's very useful to know what you've all done! I agree with trying to cut out the night feeds first - I am not completely convinced that ds isn't pretty hungry for at least one night feed and would find it really hard to do cc if I thought he might be crying from hunger as well! So I'm going to try that first, reducing the time spent feeding every night, and see what transpires...Maybe he'll just sleep through on his own - hmmmm