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Sleep

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Original poster

I am not sure that CC is working..,

23 replies

brokenmummy · 02/07/2012 19:07

Hi everyone, I'm back with more sleep woes :(

We've been doing CC at bedtime for about a week now. Started off with 1,2,3 minute intervals and we're now starting off with 5,7,9 etc.

I thought cc was meant to be a quick fix solution. But it's been a week and he still cries for at least 10-12 minutes before going to sleep. Way back when his sleep was good he would go into his cot and chatter away beautifully. Then we got caught in a feed to sleep trap. I really miss those days, he sounded so content ad happy.

His new routine is bath, boob, pjs then book and bed.

Will he always cry and what do I do about it?! Should I give up? I need him to be able to settle at bedtime as I have a few nights in the future requiring other people putting him to bed :(

Thanks

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Poosnu · 02/07/2012 19:13

How old is your DS?

Original poster

brokenmummy · 02/07/2012 19:18

Sorry he's almost 13 mo.

Just now I did 5 mins crying twice then just didn't want to do it anymore so say with my hand on his back for a few minutes til he drifted off. I hope this hasn't set us back. I just really thought a week would do it :(

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thisisyesterday · 02/07/2012 19:25

if it isn't owrking then stop it

if you feel like you want to stay with him and comfort him then DO! you won't look back and regret not comforting your child, you really won't.

mine still fed to sleep at 13 months, and while it was irritating at times they DID learn to fall asleep by themselves, it just takes time for some children.

if he will fall asleep with you there touching him then quite frankly i would go with that!

Original poster

brokenmummy · 02/07/2012 19:31

It's fine really for me to do that - I'm totally happy to do it - but the problem
Is we need him to go to sleep for daddy, granny etc. and I'm the one who has to prepare him for that! Plus I figured that if he could self settle at bedtime he'd be more likely to sleep through ( which he actually almost has been te last few nights, so we are making some progress just not with beD time.

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thisisyesterday · 02/07/2012 19:33

have any of them tried settling him before?

I only ask because my lot would settle for my mum, if i wasn't there! a couple of times she might have had to walk them to sleep in the buggy, but they were generally happy with someone else rubbing their back or rocking them or giving a bottle or whatever...

Original poster

brokenmummy · 02/07/2012 19:35

To be honest, no, not for quite a long time. Like 6mknths. My dh can put him down for a nap, just about, and my mum has always been too scared to try because she knows how anxious I am about the whole thing and what a terrible sleeper he's been, and she doesn't want to upset him! Maybe you're right!

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Herrena · 02/07/2012 19:36

Just tell other people that he needs that bit of physical contact to feel safe about drifting off. They'll do it and he will grow out of it, honestly - our DS did (also almost 13mo, actually)!

Original poster

brokenmummy · 02/07/2012 19:40

Hmm. You're probably right, but I can't imagine it being that easy! His bedtime has always been so rigid and only ever been me, but I guess we'll never know unless we try it!

Does anyone have a similar experience of cc not working/taking this long? Did it work eventually?

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Purplehonesty · 02/07/2012 19:45

We did the sleep solution book which is essentially what you are doing. Going to him in ever increasing time gaps 2,4,7,8 mins and saying shh it's bedtime, it's time to go to sleep.
It took a week but he still cried for a couple of minutes after that. It will get better. Its like they can't give in sometimes.
My dad was the best at putting him to bed, he never even so much as whimpered but I had given in so many times that he tried it on with me.
Keep at it and do try varying who puts him to bed. Go out if you have to so you
Aren't hanging about feeling anxious and end up taking over!

Original poster

brokenmummy · 02/07/2012 19:48

Thanks purplehonesty. How old was your ds and did he eventually start goin to bed happily?

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DowagersHump · 02/07/2012 19:54

My mum was the best at getting my DS to sleep because she isn't anywhere near as emotionally involved as I am and doesn't get as stressed.

Also, please remember that babies go through phases. So if you crack it this time, you might have to do it again in a few months' time. I'm not telling you that to really depress you but I think it's so tempting to fall into the trap of thinking that you've got it sorted, only for it all to go to pot again a few months down the line and really beat yourself up. It's normal, it's developmental and he will grow out of it.

StrawberryMojito · 02/07/2012 20:06

My DS (9 months) is a nightmare to get to sleep and if I am around always wants me at bedtime. However, on the few occasions I have not been around he has settled fine with both my mum and DP (usual amount of crying but has accepted that there is no boob available)

I have no suggestions re the controlled crying as we are trying it with similar success as you but I would say don't worry about having to go away, I'm sure he'll be fine.

Original poster

brokenmummy · 02/07/2012 20:09

I know it's developmental, I know he'll grow out of it - but when?! I'm feeling more and more depressed with sheer exhaustion and I think it will be healthier for the whole family if he slept better and could wind himself down. At the moment he has no idea how to wind down, whatever I try, and will not sit still or even begin to relax until I feed him to sleep. I thought we were getting somewhere with CC as he only took a few minutes to go to sleep on Saturday, but we seem to have taken a step back the last couple of days.

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Original poster

brokenmummy · 02/07/2012 20:11

Thanks for that strawberrymojito. I hope we manage it and I hope cc gets easier for you too! How long have you been at it?

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DowagersHump · 02/07/2012 20:20

I'm sorry, that was really unhelpful of me.

I was trying to say (badly) that you won't be 'making a rod for your own back' if you comfort him now and that he will get better at learning to sleep but there will be blips so don't get too despondent when they happen. Although I have probably forgotten what it really feels like to be sleep-deprived, I do remember feeling absolutely desperate at times.

If he still needs a little help to settle, surely anyone else that cares for him will do that too if that's what he needs?

My DS is a wonderful sleeper and has been for years (he's 5 now). I am the envy of many of my friends because he regularly sleeps until 8-8.30am. I'm sure that seems like a lifetime away now

Original poster

brokenmummy · 02/07/2012 20:39

Thanks DowagersHump. Its so hard to envisage a future of good sleep when you feel so tired all the time!

Yes dh and my mum will do anything to comfort him, but we've had such a stressful time with sleep that they are both really worried about doing it. I don't think either of them have the stamina to see it through without calling me up and getting me to come home after an hour of being unsuccessful. Its just that I've kind of taken over the whole sleep thing (not intentionally) and dh works such crazy hours that ds just doesn't associate him with sleep or night time at all.

I think DS is quite high needs and has the capacity to get very, very upset!

If I carry on feeding him before bed, I'm not sure how anyone else will get him to wind down!

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Original poster

brokenmummy · 03/07/2012 19:59

Well, it still isn't working and it's been 8 nights.

This evening I went in at 3, 5, 7 minute intervals and then patted him to sleep after the last gap. I thought CC was meant to work in 3 days!

I don't thiknk I'm prepared to go all hardcore and do it 'properly' (5,10,15 mins, no physical contact etc) yet - maybe I'll give it a couple of weeks break and then try again? Maybe carry on patting him to sleep and then try gradual withdrawal again (didn't work last time, my presence was too distracting)

He's sleeping quite well at night, it's just getting him to sleep that's the problem. Ne self settles for naps and only wakes once at night, so I don't know why bedtime is so different!

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loveisagirlnameddaisy · 03/07/2012 20:15

Are you sure he's not overtired at bedtime? Excessive crying when going down can be a sign of this and may be the problem, rather than it being the CC that's not working.

DialMforMummy · 03/07/2012 20:56

Going back in every few minutes only aggravated my LO. So we let him CIO. I appreciate it might not be what you want to do though.

Original poster

brokenmummy · 03/07/2012 21:48

I don't think I could do CIO, although see how it might be more successful than CC.

hmm, overtired. I don't think so. Last 2 days he's had 20-30 min nap at 930am, followed by 1.5-2hr nap at 1pm.

Then bed at 7.

Should I try an earlier bedtime?

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Herrena · 03/07/2012 22:16

My DS got increasingly furious angry if we tried to soothe him when he was tired, so putting him down and letting him get on with it really was the only way. We found that it was necessary to keep an eye on the clock so that we didn't get all 'I must go back, it's been ages' when it had actually only been 5 min. He got into the habit of self-settling pretty fast, I must say - 5 min or less of whinging.

Herrena · 03/07/2012 22:16

sorry, so good I posted it twice!!

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