3yo deliberately waking us up through the night. Driving me utterly batshit. Please tell me your wise and grown-up ways of dealing with it

[FurCough]

..because I resorted to standing at his door at 4am and losing my temper :(

He's doing it because he can - because he gets attention. He doesn't seem to mind if the attention is positive or negative and (tellingly) doesn't give two hoots that he's waking his 3mo baby brother too.

He has a stairgate over his door but still shouts from his bedroom until we come to him. If we ignore him, he screams and wails at a horrendous volume.

He doesn't seem to respond to sticker charts or rewards and I genuinely don't think that anything is actually wrong when he wakes up.

helphelphelphelphelp

Could you take the stairgate off and threaten him with closing the door? Some dc's hate having their bedroom door closed so it might make him think. If it doesn't it'll reduce the noise for you and the baby.

Or steel yourself and keep putting him back in bed without talking to him. I can't do this though as I end up losing my temper

We had problems with our 3 yo ds sleeping. I set him up with a little table next to his bed and put a small bag of cars on it. If he wakes up he is allowed to play quietly. Now when he wakes up, he plays cars for a bit then falls asleep again. He wasn't doing it for attention so may not work. Do sympathise though, its hard when they keep waking up.

Warn the neighbours, and ignore it. He may well fall asleep by the door, if he does leave him there. That sounds hard i know, but ive been there and it works, but it's tough.

A 3 year old with a new baby in the house is looking for attention - maybe he needs some attention?

just a thought but how much one on one time are you and your dp each spending with him during the day? On reading your post my first thought was, he's 3 and he's got a fairly brand new and therefore demanding little sibling and he's probably feeling very confused as to where he fits in. I guess lots of reassurance, spending some quality time with him and then enforcing bedtime rules may help (and talking to him at his level in language he easily understands about why he can't yell at the top of his voice in the middle of the night). I hope he calms down soon and this is a phase.

Of course something's wrong - you have a new baby! Don't, whatever you do, tell him to stop because he'll wake baby. That makes things worse. In fact don't mention baby at all when you want him to do something.

I'd give him a special bedtime just for him. Cuddles cuddles and more. Let him be in charge of some things eg pyjamas, story and what cup he has for milk.

When he wakes at night, give a quick cuddle and put back to bed. Keep it boring, minimal chat. He's at the age where his imagination is kicking in, he could be dreaming and wake up etc. he wants to know what's happening at 3am.

Our DS has been going through this (we also have a 6 month old). He craves attention but being so young he doesn't know how to ask so its my job to give it. We deal with night wakings quickly and now he wakes, calls out and goes back to sleep very quickly.

My Ds2 came through every night up till aged 3 and what stopped it was Dad going through to take him back and put him into bed. See it was me he was after so when he realised that was a no-goer he just slept. So, if you can do that I think you might have success, just get Dad or ANother adult he knows to silently put him back under the covers every time you might break the habit quite quickly. I don't know why he was after me because I, like you, would frequently crack up and DH is always patient and fair but hey hO. Good luck!

Thanks folks. He does get looooaads of attention in the day (DS2 is a Neglected Subsequent Child )

But you're right, he probably does need more reassurance at night. The imagination thing sounds right. It was "Mummy why are there red and blue owls on the roof?" last night.