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Would my DS be considered a high need baby?

14 replies

MiauMau · 29/06/2012 12:03

I had a look at the list and some of it is applicable to my DS and others aren't. He feeds 6 times a day, which is only one feed above what is recomended for a FF baby and very rarely when he's in a sleeping mood, he'll only feed the designated 5 times.
He loves being held especially when we're walking around, but he won't mind if we put him in his bouncer or play gym as long as he is happy with it, sometimes his good mood can last an hour others ten minutes. He has been more adverse to his pram than what he is now, especially since we got him some new toys. He sulks when we put him in it, but doesn't cry and will even fall asleep.
When it comes to sleep, well, this is were he really seems to be a high need baby. He's a power napper, very rarely sleeping more than 30 minutes during the day, he never falls asleep by himself in his bed. It is either in my or DP's arms being rocked and with me singing, or on my chest, he will still kick a fuss but usually he will fall asleep quickly. DS is also a very fidgety sleeper and will only be motionless if in a very deep sleep but that n,y lasts a couple of hours at night (5 in extremely good days)
So, is he or isn't he?
What makes a baby high need? Was it something that I did wrong? What can be done about it?
DS is my first child and I'm utterly baffled, tired and being away from my country, I feel unsupported.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
hardboiledpossum · 29/06/2012 12:20

How old is he?

MiauMau · 29/06/2012 12:23

18 weeks today :)
I should also add, that even though it isn't on the list (not sure f it is relevant) for a baby his age he behaves really well when we go out. Charms the hell out of people and complains very rarely.

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MakesCakesWhenStressed · 29/06/2012 12:26

Sounds like a normal baby to me, but what do I know, i'm on week 24 of my first too.

MiauMau · 29/06/2012 12:29

Well, you know about 6 more weeks than me :o

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StarlightWithAsteroid · 29/06/2012 12:29

Sounds like an easy baby to me. Easier than any of my 3 anyhow and I ever considered THENM high need.

blossombath · 29/06/2012 14:08

i don't think he sounds high needs, but maybe if you are feeling tired and unsupported his needs will feel especially demanding to you. do you have friends who can help out, or a local mothers group you couls visit?

loveisagirlnameddaisy · 29/06/2012 16:41

Some babies are undoubtedly more challenging than others, esp when you're tired and it's your first (everything is more unknown). However, I also believe that some 'high needs' are actually habits which have formed down to the way people parent. The rocking and patting you describe to get him to sleep, for example, can wind some babies up instead of calming them down.

I know it's really hard at this stage when you're on such a steep learning curve, so first of all don't be hard on yourself. There's no perfect way to parent and you sound like a very caring mum who wants to get things right for your son. I would get RL support from mums groups and any friends or family you have nearby. Also, are you trying to follow any sort of routine/schedule? It's not for everyone but certainly saved my sanity. Take care.

MiauMau · 29/06/2012 18:18

Thank you all for your messages. I think that my LO is now also going through the 4 months sleep regression, which is ironic as he was never a good sleeper... I've only been able to make him nap for a total of 1 hour today :(

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hardboiledpossum · 29/06/2012 21:09

He doesn't sound high needs at all, I think my son was having about 8-10 feeds a day at that age and only short naps.

fififrog · 30/06/2012 21:30

Goodness please don't worry, yours sounds pretty normal to me! Just likes cuddles at sleep times - enjoy them, they won't last for long! And take heart, I am sure you are shattered but it really does get lots easier! Mine never self-settled for bedtime or naps til 5.5 months and that only because we did some gentle sleep training. I also had a 30min napper. It's tiring, but it does improve. The wriggling gradually gets better too. If DC is happy and charming when awake then I'd say he's doing fine!

MiauMau · 01/07/2012 10:32

The past two nights have been absolutely terrible... He fidgets so much, even in our bed and on top of me. The poor thing looks so tired, yet he won't go to sleep.

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MakesCakesWhenStressed · 02/07/2012 09:59

If it helps mine w00t from spawn of devil to angel baby overnight the day ge turned 19 weeks. He even slept through a couple of times does not mention that this has just gone to shit again at 25 weeks

MakesCakesWhenStressed · 02/07/2012 09:59

*went, not w00t.

MiauMau · 03/07/2012 12:20

It helps for about 6 weeks :P
Unfortunately, DS has been poorly with diarrhea since Friday. Last night he woke up at 00.30 crying his little eyes out in pain and with his tummy rumbling really loudly :(

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