How to do bedtime with 2.9 yr old and 3 month old at the same time

[mumtocuddlebundle]

Normally dh does ds1 bedtime and ds1 likes a couple of books then cuddled to sleep. It's normally quite quick cuddle, but we do have to wait til he is asleep before leaving the room.
Meanwhile I settle ds2 by breastfeeding and rocking.
But dh has to go away with work for a whole week - eek! Not sure how I will cope with doing both bedtimes. If it was a one off think I'd take them out for a run in car then carry them into bed. But as it's a whole week can't really do this every night. Has anyone else coped with this scenario? Think I will have to take ds2 into bedroom with ds1 and hope that I can feed and keep him quiet. But normally need to pace the room and rock him a bit. Ds1 loves his little bro, so don't think he'll mind sharing bedtime. But he might not go to sleep if ds2 isn't settling.
What do other people do?

I'd love the answer to this too. My friend says she just muddles through - puts young one down first while oldest runs riot

When I've done it solo, I take DD in with me while I settle her older brother and lights out to feed her and rock her to sleep while waiting for DS to stop shouting fall asleep. It means she has to go to bed later and I then have to get out of the room to her room without waking.

Problem with putting youngest down first is he's normally twitchy abd overtired at the end of the day, so I have to cuddle him for an hour before putting him in cot. If I just put him straight into cot he'll wake a few mins later.
I suppose the other option is to get ds2 happy, fed and hopefully not overtired and leave him on his play mat while I settle ds1. But have a feeling ds2 will be a bit unhappy by the tine I get back to him.

I have the same issue. Try taking ds2 in with you. Does he have a dummy? That helped with me and keeping DD happy as she'd grumble even when in with us.

I had a similar age gap, and did all the bedtimes myself. I used to bath them both, then both in pyjamas/baby grow. Then feed ds2 and read story to ds1 at same time. Then put ds2 in cot, and go back to settle ds1.

I did use a dummy a bit when he was younger, but gave it up when weight gain wasn't going well. Not sure if he'll take it now. I could try again.
Of course, we could try saying to older dc that we're just popping out to toilet, tidy up etc. And pop back occasionally to see how they are getting on. I have a feeling this might not go down well though as he's used to being cuddled to sleep. And although he loves his little bro, think he could start to resent him if he thinks he's getting preferential treatment.

My DD1 is 3.5 and DD2 is 4 months, so similar in age to your two. My DH works away a couple of nights a week, and I'm just starting to feel that I'm dealing with bedtime on my own (quite) well. So this is what I do

After tea DD2 gets a BF (one side), so that she's not hungry and screaming for milk. DD1 winds down with a book or CBeebies

I don't try to do too much - bathing both at the same time with only one pair of hands is too much like hard work for me. So I alternate bath night (they survive if they only have a bath every other day), or if they are mucky/sweaty then DD1 gets the bedtime bath and DD2 gets a morning one, once DD1 is at pre school and out of the way.

I get DD1 involved - she chooses DD2s pjs and lays out her nappy. Then DD2 'chooses' DD1s pjs.

DD2 is put in her bouncy chair and we sit on cushions next to her for a story - being close to her seems to keep her quiet as she likes to watch and listen. The one thing DD1 hasn't accepted is DD2 getting cuddles at bedtime, otherwise they get on great. So sitting next to DD2 gives me an arm free to cuddle DD1.

If DD2 is grizzling and we can't hear the story, then I'm afraid to say she goes into her room, in her cot with the mobile on and we close the door. I feel terrible, but actually this way I get DD1 dealt with quicker and get back to DD2 sooner. This was the best piece of advice I got (from an MNetter of course) - if you have to leave one child unattended, then make it one who is the least destructive! A baby will cry, but will forgive you once it gets a cuddle again. What in earth will a toddler get up to?!

DD1 gets a quick cuddle and then I go to feed DD2. If DH is around, then he will stay with DD1, but otherwise she is told we love her and to sleep tight, and she will go to sleep on her own. She is capable of going to sleep on her own, just prefers the cuddle.

When DH is around the 4 of us do the same process together - it takes longer than each of us dealing with one girl, but it is a consistent routine and they've fallen into in happily.

How soon does your DH go away? I'd 'practice' with DS1 going to sleep on his own and also with all of you doing the full routine together, if you have time. It is do-able (and this comes from someone who was very stressed about it 2 months ago), but it often takes 2 hours from start to finish! Make sure you have a cuppa or a glass of wine ready once the house is peaceful and still!

i have 2.9 year old and 2 month old and if DS2 needs fed at bedtime, i just sit on the floor to feed and do bedtime story/song and quickly abandon baby on a a blanket on the floor to do cuddles!

I've also done it with DS2 in a sling for nap time. DS1 doesn't seem to mind as long as we stick to his wee routine and DS2 isn't screaming.

we have had a lot of pacing about of an evening too recently!

Thanks Zuleika that's some good advice. I think I have about a week and a half til he goes, so got some time to practice.

sorry i missed that your older one likes cuddled to sleep - i get away with a few cuddles then he messes about for a bit and settles.

the going to get something and back in a bit works quite a lot, he either forgets or falls asleep. :)

sorry i missed that your older one likes cuddled to sleep - i get away with a few cuddles then he messes about for a bit and settles.

the going to get something and back in a bit works quite a lot, he either forgets or falls asleep. :)

Thanks. It's great to know others have similar situations and muddle through ok. I am actually quite spoiled that I have my parents nearby, who would be willing to hold baby while I settle older ds. I have done this a couple of times before, but as this is for a full week I'd like to get the hang of it myself. I like looking after my own little family at bedtimes without always having to get my mum round!

Bouncy chair is your friend. Frantically jig to keep baby quiet. I have to say this was the one thing i found hard about bf dd2 and dd1 goes to sleep on her own. You can do it!

YY to alternating bathnights.

Also, manage your own expectations and don't try and do the same thing every night and focus on getting them both into bed on the dot of 7.30 (or whatever time 'bedtime' normally is). Accept now that it won't work every night. That will make it easier. It took me three months to figure this out!

I tried various things, some worked better than others, but here are a couple of tips to pick and choose from....

With a 3 month old, 'storytime' for both just didn't work for us. DC2 would just get grouchy and wanted to be focused on for a feed. Wasn't fair on DC1 who was trying to listen to a story while a baby screeeched.

Cbeebies is your friend. A week of TV-overkill will not kill him. Park DS1 in front of TV while you feed and settle DS2. Pop DS2 in bed when settled and (hopefully) nip out to do storytime/bedtime with DS1. OBviously this won't necessarily work. I regularly at this stage used to have to run between bedrooms, trying to resettle DS2, while still 'reading' to DS1. Not ideal... But sometimes just what happened. Fortunately, DS2 quite soon learned to self-settle (no controlled crying - just happened) which made things a bit easier!

good luck

I often bf ds (3 months) whilst dd (3.1) is in the bath. Sometimes I give him a quick dunk as well and then change him on bathroom floor.

Then he goes in bouncy chair on landing while I get dd dry and in pjs.

he is usually fairly happy to listen to a couple of stories on dd's bed with her. Otherwise I will feed him while I read.

Then I either have to do a contorted sort of cuddle of dd whilst feeding ds or pop him back in bouncy chair or his cot with mobile.

I usually negotiate a shortish cuddle with dd and tell her I'll come back later as long as she stays quietly in bed.

If ds is asleep I'll put him down in Moses basket. If not he comes downstairs for more feeding and cuddles.

Usually just about works out.

Sometimes dd likes to listen to a story cd which helps.

Hi icecreamcastles, thanks
I am liking the idea of the story cd. Might order one up in case I am struggling.

DS1 has an In the Night Garden story/music cd which we put on when we leave the room. I'd forgotten about it as it goes on for every sleep and it's automatic now. he usually settles while it's on or just after it finishes.

good luck!