Sleep training with baby still in your room

[YoulllaughAboutItOneDay]

DD2 is a rubbish sleeper. She has just turned one. The two hourly wakings I was just about handling, but in the last coupe of months it has all gone totally to pot. Waking for hours at a time. Or refusing to settle unless in our bed. Often restless and in bed with us from 4am ish. Sometimes throwing in some 30 minute or hourly wakings just to mix things up. 8 minute wakings were a particular highlight.

So, we have decided we need to do some form of gentle sleep training. Jay Gordon assumes you will still bed share (which we actually don't anymore, at least not all night, but did until about 9 months). All the other 'sleep trainers' seem to say it will be a disaster unless the baby is in his/her own room. This is not an option for us as we have a two bed house, and DD1 is in the other room. The rest is open plan, so there is no scope for room jiggling (though one of us could kip on DD1's floor if we needed to during the process).

We'll do something gentle. Not sure if it will be me comforting but not feeding (in the hope that it also reduces wakings) or DH with me vacating. Need to think about that one too.

Anyone tried to improve their DC's appalling sleep without moving them to their own room?

I once did sleep training at mils house where ds could have his own room, could you do something like that?or do it on holiday somewhere like centerparcs?

Hmmmm. Don't really have that kind of relationship with my parents (and in laws are too far away)! We could maybe go away, but she's even worse in an unfamiliar location, so I'd be worried it would make it harder for her. Worth thinking about though.

Did your son sleep better once you were home?

It only took one night tbh and yes he was fine once we were home. He was already napping in his own cot during the day though.

We did shush/pat with our second and gradual withdrawal but yes she was in her own room as well.

You can nightwean first though, can you put a barrier up so baby can't see you at least? Clutching at straws I know.

Marking place.. we are in almost same scenario and considering Jay Gordon method.

She can hear me, that's the thing. I have tried hiding under the duvet and playing asleep in the past!

Ooh. Hi Falling. A buddy!

My DD had a couple of months of good sleep up until she was 4m. Now I phone up my Mum and say "She was up 4 times last night" and my Mum knows to say "brilliant!" because that, sadly, is a good night.

Just so you know you are very much not alone.

Ah yes, the four month regression. Has hit both of my two hard too. Sadly DD1 had it sussed by one, so I'm in new territory...

OK I am relying on you to figure it all out and report back.

yes! I still co-sleep and my daughter's sleep is much improved. She still wakes up once in the night, but it's better than the whole 2 hourly thing.
Have a look at this article by Aletha Solter.

sleeping through the night

and also this one by Patty Wipfler, Listening to Nursing Children

the ideas are different, to our normal mindset, about why children cry, and what we can do about it, but I got DD sleeping better within a night, and sleeping through with one waking after a week. If my dd was a bit heavier on the weight scale I'd feel more confident to let her sleep through but I'm fine with one waking.

It is also the loviest cuddliest feeling in the world to hug your baby back to sleep!

Here's my update after night one of (very gentle) sleep training.

I decided not to try Jay Gordon method as DD tends to throw herself around the cot when awake and I felt it might be a bit to full on for her to start off with. So I combined ideas from Jay Gordon, NCSS and the articles linked to by Cloudhands (thanks).

DD went down to sleep (in cot) as usual after a marathon feeding session from 8pm to 9pm. She woke at 11.20 and had another long feed (in our bed). I then returned her to her cot. Funnily enough she briefly woke (or at least opened her eyes) then went back to sleep.

About 2.20 she woke (quite a long stretch for her) and I then paced around with her in my arms. She was quite happy in my arms when I was walking apart fromt he odd squirm but started to cry as soon as I tried to sit ot return her to her cot she started to cry. After an hour (with a very sore back and feeling exhausted), I sat down on the sofa and held her against me. She cried for less than a minute then fell asleep. Waited a few mins then returned her to her cot where she slept til 6.45! When she woke I brought her into bed for a feed and we slept til 10am

So for the first time in many months DD went about 7 hours without a feed. That hour was hard, just hope it isn't harded tonight!

Good luck to anyone else trying anything like this.

We are thinking something similar. At the weekend though as i need toddler care back up from DH the next day! Thanks for
the links Cloud. Will update!

Anyone have any updates in how they got on?

I'm in the same situaton with my 6mo, living in a 1bedroom flat. Arghh so tired!