AIBU to ask about DS sleep as there isnt much traffic on the sleep thread?

[catgirl1976]

DS is 7mo. We have some how ended up co-sleeping but it's not what I want

He has no routine really which I am going to start today (bath, wind down, story eyc all at same time each night) but the real problem is that he will fall aslepp on me or DH but the moment his head touches the mattress in his own bed he screams

If we pick him up he stops instantly and falls straight back asleep. Then screams the minute he touches his own bed - this goes on ad infinitum. We have tried putting hm down as soon as he drops off and waiting till he is dead to the world - doesn't make a difference. He won't self soothe

HIs own cot is in our room next to our bed.

How do we break this cycle? I am loathe to do CIO and tbh don't think I could

Ah bumbley I may sound horrific to you, but the OP should know that there are other successful methods should she wish to explore them.
Mine never cried since and go to sleep any place, any bed, anywhere.
It suits us!

Oh, re dummy
Mine both had free access to a dummy during the day. Never at night! I never put them to bed with a dummy. They always fall asleep on their own with their mussie.
Again, this worked for us. If we went on holiday or they were ill, the dummy was useful. But not as a method of falling asleep.

Cat girl, I'm not a big fan of dummies. I was at a lecture once given by an orthodontist who had studied the impact that they have on the formation of the palate. Apparently the suck that babies use with a dummy is different and it develops different muscles which causes the palate to form differently. This can lead to problems with bite and breathing etc in the future. That is obviously a really rough overview of his study(!) but it did put me off them and this was before i had children. If its helping you get through at the moment then by all means go with it though. It doesnt have to be a long term thing. I do know a lot of people who have struggled to get their children off them when they've had them for a while so watch out for that. Sorry to hear you were in hospital - I hope you are ok!

shattereddreams - I wouldn't call leaving a 6 week old to cry itself to sleep a 'successful method' but if that's what you need to tell yourself then you go ahead. Fwiw the people who actually developed controlled crying don't recommend it for babies under 6 months and even then they advise returning to them at regular short intervals. (controlled crying rather than cry it out) No one advises what you did so I wouldn't crow about it too loudly if I were you.

bumble I am re-thinking the dummy as I have always been so anti

It did work well last night when I couldnt bf but I think I will resist

I wouldn't give up on the dummy if it's helping in the transition away from constant bf all night. Sounds like you both slept better for it. If you're worried about him becoming too dependent you can just limit it to when he's going to bed. Also, the fact that you're still bf will still be helping to make sure his muscles are being used properly. And if you only use the dummy at home then no one will ever know your dark and guilty secret......!
And hope you're feeling better soon.

Thank you Shelby :) that's kind