I want to sleep train, DS wants to party!

[brokenmummy]

Hi everyone

Ds has been a nightmare sleep wise for months now. I reached the end of my tether and tonight was going to be the night. I wanted to use nectarina's withdrawal tecnique.

Having fed to sleep for weeks I woke him after his bedtime bf - well I hardly let him fall asleep - but I can only assume He thought that was a wee nap as he is now full of beans!

Been sat by cot for half an hour watching him jumping around. He has Only just learnt to stand in cot and he is having waaaay too much fun standing up and laughin at me!

I am not even sure if he knows how to lie down from sitting. Do I assume he can? Or do I have to keep lying him down?

I'm now outside the room as I'm sure I was distracting him, and he's not even upset.

So I think maybe a lite CC would e more appropriate?

Help!

Sorry shld have said he's 12 mo

It's as if he physically can't stay lying down!

Now he is getting upset, keeps sitting up, rubbing his eyes and yet still trying to play!

i would just leave him and see if he falls asleep by himself .

if he does you're sorted!

argh, sorry, hadn't seen you said he was getting upset. can you try feeding him again and then putting him down not quite asleep

Well that was a disaster. He rolled over, whacked his head, screamed, I picked him up and that was that. No way he was going to let me out him down. I was so determined, sat with him for half an hour but he just cried and cried and cried. So I fed him and he was asleep in seconds. So I put him through all that for nothing :(

I am going crazy. I have 2 sets of tickets for the Olympics, which would be my first two nights out in well over a year. I never thought I would have to give them away because my baby still won't go to sleep without me. No one has ever put him to bed but me. Not to mention the 2-3 night feeds he's currently demanding...

Oh what am I going to do...

awww, bless him. how old is he?

He's 12 mo and never been a good sleeper, apart from one wonderful month when he was about 9mo. I got all cocky and then he regressed...

You have my sympathy. My DD was still like that at his age. It might cheer you up to hear that at 13 months it was like a switch flicked and she started sleeping through the night.
That was with no sleep training (because I'm a wimp when it comes to my babies crying!)

Don't give up! These things take time and being consistent is your friend.

It is so hard to hear you LO cry but really it is for all your good tht you are trying to train him. At 12 mo your babe can easily go through the night without feeding, it is just a habit.

It would be awful if you didn't get to go to the Olympic so use that to inspire you to crack this!

Good luck! Change has always happened with my kids when I have come to the end of my tether and I am ready to enforce a plan, they know when you are not really committed.

i would take it slow, but keep going.
if he hadn't bumped his head he migiht have been ok.

we used the no-cry sleep solution with ds2 when he was 9/10 months and it worked well. it's not a quick fix mind you, but it's gentle and doesn't involve leaving them to cry

Well, I don't have any particularly useful advice but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone! Is this your first DC? I am struggling with this stage with DC3 and it can be very very very tiresome.. but please bear the following in mind..

• It will get better - nothing stays the same for long with babies and truly truly truly I promise yum this will one day be a distant memory.
• Like giving up smoking, you often have to give it a few goes before the first time you get enough favourable circumstances to crack that first step - i.e. breaking the feed-sleep association (i.e. not too tired, but tired enough, not poorly, etc).
• Can you try getting DH to take him from you straight after feeding - whilst very sleepy at first. Put in cot, only very slightly awake. Do it in baby steps. Then gradually feed a little earlier so he is more awake and start letting him have a goodnight cuddle with you/and or DH after feed, and then into cot.. etc *If you want to go to the Olympics - plan to go. Who are you going to leave him with? Will he take a bottle? Its amazing how they behave in a totally different way for other than for you. It may even help improve sleep habits and the very worst case is that DM or whoever has to walk/drive him round the block for a few hours. HTH

Thanks everyone.

I know I need to plan as there is no way I'm going to let those tickets go!

I'm leaving him with my mum. He adores her but she finds it even harder than I do to hear him cry!

thisisyesterday you're right - it wasn't actually going too badly until he bumped his head. I am going to keep at it, I have to - I just wish I didn't have that bloody maternal instinct that makes me desperate to feed him when he reaches out for me! I need some sleep so badly that I just have to night wean.

Cinderarial Thanks for the tips. He won't take a bottle but will take cows milk from a cup during the day. But that's just not the same as mummy is it?! I had hoped that DH would start to go in and offer a cup, but he's suffering with severe work related stress and sleep deprivation so he's not really in the right place to embark on this with me - becuase we both know there will be A LOT of tears if we go down that road.

He's recently had his MMR and other boosters and I think it's made everything worse. It's one thing after another isn't it!

KD0706 - I hope so much that he turns out to be just like your DD!

Totally hear what you are saying about DH and stress/sleep, but the situation with Ds's sleep will be taking its toll on you both and its better for him to help you get it sorted.
See if you can get him on board to try this just at bedtime. If you crack the 7pm bedtime then you could try waking for a 10pm feed and DH settling, then you agree to do the rest of the night? - everything else will gradually follow.
And, forgive me for saying it, but although there is indeed nothing like mummy, you may have to start accepting that this is one of the first of many steps of gradually teaching/gifting independence on your son and that gently teaching him to settle himself is a very good thing for his physical and psychological health (and yours, and DHs!). Its hrd to start that very first bit of letting go from being the Number One Indispensable Carer but I am hearing a lot of "excuses" in your posts! (takes one to know one!-I'm just as bad - No criticism whatsoever).

Believe me - I am totally ready for this and in no way am I happy about being the only one able to settle him! I never intended it to end up like this.

We live very far from any family (another country, although my mother visits often) and Dh doesn't get home from work til 830 and is gone by 730am. So bedtime help isnt possible, but I'm going to make him do a night waking.

I am at that point where it just has to happen. I have to make it happen. It seems as though ds has become more and more clingy the last few weeks and I wish I'd done this much earlier!

Poor you - even if sleep were perfect, its very hard being on your own all day and no bedtime support, so don't beat yourself up too much! Good luck, let us know how it goes and maybe soon I will see you back on here as rebuiltmummy