Bedtime temper tantrums

[bouncysmiley]

Help! My 8 month old has turned into a monster! Usually an Angel at bedtime, but she is usually fed to sleep/ put down when drowsy. After tonights feed she was wide awake. I put her down and left the room. Cue tears. I went back in, cuddle, she seemed to want to play so i left. Repeat several times. As she screamed the second i left the room i decided to stay but not give her attention. Cue proper screaming, kicking, throwing herself around the cot and calling for me. When i pick her up (when she's tantrumed herself up to the other end of the cot) she shuts up and smiles. It's not her nappy, no temperature etc. I swear she just wants attention. I didn't even know 8 month olds could tantrum.......... Any ideas? I am new to all this but don't want to do controlled crying...

More separation anxiety than tantrums, I'd suggest. She does just want your attention

I think they have times when they are developing so fast it blows their minds and they want to stay awake and "practice" what they've learned. Or teething...

Oh and also separation anxiety comes in at some point.

My personal inclination is to get them up if they don't seem sleepy and aren't disturbing other DCs.

Yes, they can tantrum!

X-post

Agree with Beamur

I know it can come as a bit of a shocker when you've had a pretty chilled baby, but it is a normal phase. She's prime seperation anxiety age.

Either stay with her or feed her over/nearly over.

I promise, it'll pass!

I hope so! I start back at work soon :(

Aw, they change on a daily basis, so by the time you are at work, she'll be through to yet another wee stage.

Another thing to consider is: is she actually tired enough to go to sleep? It may be her sleep needs are changing & she can stay awake for longer between nap & bedtime. What does her daytime routine look like at the moment i.e. when does she wake, when does she nap & how long for & when does she go to bed?

Everything is a phase, sadly. I'm not sure when that stops being the case, but DC1 is nearly 4yo and we still have phases now.

Shes only recently started consistently napping both morning and afternoon (10-11 and 1.30-2.30) and will go down for about an hour each time. Before this She'd usually nap in he moning but not often in the afternoon. She seems tired before bedtime, in fact i keep her up purposefully until 7 when she starts getting ratty at 6 because shes only had her tea at 5. Maybe i need to change. Routein currently looks like:

BF when she wakes (Anytime between 5.30 and 7.30)
breakfast between 8.30 and 9.30 depending on above.
Lunch 12-12.30
BF mid afternoon (3ish)
Tea at 5
BF at 7, usually eats until 7.30, then naps on me (wakes up and screams if you move her) then feeds 8-8.30 or 9.

OK looking at that I'd actually say she may be overtired. She's only having 2hrs sleep & that is quite low for her age, and you say she is tired at 6pm but you keep her up. I think this may be working against you & an earlier bedtime may actually help, at least in the short term.

I would suggest aiming to have her asleep by 7pm, so start your BF at 6.30pm latest & get her into bed for 7. Also what about starting to put her down drowsy but awake, so she can self settle (then you avoid the screaming if you move her issue)

WRT her daytime naps, I think she may not be tired enough to sleep for longer than an hour at her afternoon nap, because she is only awake for 2.5hrs inbetween naps. I think this then leads to her being overtired by bedtime because she is awake for too long, hence why she is taking ages to go over. Then you may get early waking from overtiredness.

IIWM I would probably aim more for something like a nap at 9.15-9.30am (so around 2.5hrs after waking) for around 30-45mins & then another nap at around 12.30pm (so 2.5hrs later). By trimming the morning nap back but keeping the awake time short inbetween her naps, you should then find her lunchtime nap is longer, ideally you want 2hrs here, and this will help her make it til bedtime without being overtired.
HTH.x