I am so chuffing tired - I morphed into the shouty woman (shouted and DH to wake him up) this am at 6.45am, having been up with dc3 since 4am AGAIN...
Dc3 is the only one who has not figured out how to stay asleep until 6.30 or 7, or even 6am would be very welcome atm, by the age of 18 months. I am so tired I have started shaking when awake, feeling sick and feel like bursting into tears most of the time.
Even dared to wake up the sleeping husband (see shouty woman comment) - he's all nice and asleep in the 'office' (childs room - not yet while he still won't get the heck out of it) and obviously THAT worked out well - I think not.
Left him with my insomniac (who I still have to room share with) and went downstairs for a break
He morphed into 'I am just going to say NO to the now not just awake but hysterical child, until mummy comes to rescue her, and then shout VERY LOUDLY at mummy, while not letting her anywhere near her child to sort dc out, to the point of shoving mummy out of the way' man.
Now he is the 'resentful as I had to iron my own shirt and will not even speak to my wife' man.
This is sooo fucked up. I know I was bad for shouting him awake and have apologised (not even a grunt of acknowledgement). But I am so tired - this waking seems to have been going on FOREVER!
I so want a partner who will be nice to me when I am feeling this tired and vulnerable and generally knackered. Someone who I can go to before I am on the edge of reason and who will be supportive (Gosh - you must be exhausted, here let me help, have a nice hug, let me make you a cup of tea, why don't you go back to bed, kind of supportive, not the I am going to be useless with the children so you can listen to them crying and me moaning at them from another room, kind of supportive, oh and then hold it against you for even DARING to disturb my rest because unlike lazy you, I have to go to work and be important, kind of supportive.)
I am really in it now - will have tired me to deal with AND tired OH, who obviously has to go to work to support his sponging wife and do all sorts of important things while he's there, not like me who will sit around on her butt all day, doing nothing important...
RANT RANT RANT -
P.S I appreciate I am very fortunate to have a OH who will financially support me to the point where I can be at home - but everything comes at a cost...