will this work?

[saadia]

I have been having trouble with the dss' sleeping. Currently ds1 (4) sleeps with us and ds2 (2) sleeps in a cot next to the bed. To put them to bed I have to lie down with ds1 cuddling him with ds2 in the cot. Ds2 then starts crying to come in the bed and then it all disintegrates and no-one sleeps.

So today I have told then I will put ds1 in bed, ds2 in the cot and I will sit on a chair in the room till they go to sleep. I know it will take time but does anyone have any helpful suggestions or ideas to make it easier.

Why does DS1 still sleep with you. Has he got his own bed? or do you mean that he wants to sleep with you instead of in his own bed?

He's always slept with us and we've never got round to shifting him. There is a bed in the spare room but we thought we'd move both boys in there together once we'd decorated it for them.

I'd wait until the room is decorated, then start afresh new room, new rules.

I think you're right Hattie, it was a disaster. I think I'll start kitting out the room tomorrow.

yes i think it'll work but it may take time!
the key is consistency.
You HAVE to stick to what you've said you'll do. It'll be tough but you can't go back on it, otherwise he will always think "oh mummy says she won't let me in her bed, but she will eventually"

I read something potentially very good in 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' by Elaine Pantley. It's a very warmly written, symathetic book and the author has co-slept with all her children. There are some wonderful tips and advice and some people say it really, really works.

Perhaps you could decorate a room for them, buy them a fun new bed (all expensive I know!) and invent a night-time fairy who leaves treats or star-stickers on a chart if they stay in beds all night. The Pantley book even suggests sitting down with older children and making a 'sleep book' with them which 'tells a story' of what happens at night time from their bedtime routine onwards.

As they are 2 and 4, another idea in this book is to start a 'sibling bed' (read about these in the above book). Not a common thing in this day and age I know, but it's how most siblings slept together in our grandparents time and before.

Another method, in this book to wean a baby out of your bed, is to put two mattresses on the floor, one for you one for baby and each night, move the mattress a little bit further apart until baby gets used to sleeping apart from you. Not sure how practical that would be for two and for pregnant ladies though.

I think at their age from what I've heard, you can sort a problem like that with a good few nights determination on your part.

Good luck and I'm sure you'll have it sorted in no time. Really recommend the above book too. Wish I'd read it before I had DS and I'm certain I would have had an easier time at night with him!

Thanks gsl and leonsmum. I know it will be difficult to be consistent as they can both be very persuasive . But, either they don't need as much sleep as I think they need or they are living in a permanent state of exhaustion.

Ds1 also has other issues (can't sleep till he's done his poo, won't poo till he's had milk, won't have milk till well after dinner) and ds2, who at all other times loves his cot will not go to sleep there at night till his eyes are closing. It usually ends with dh coming back from work, taking them upstairs and telling them stories till ds1 falls asleep, then dh appears back downstairs with a gleeful looking ds2.

Leonsmum that book sounds brilliant, will order it now. A gentler approach might be more effective with these two.