where does your newborn sleep in the early evening?

[erikab922]

I have two baby hammocks - one downstairs in the front room where we spend most of our time and another upstairs in the bedroom.

During the day my 8 week old sleeps in the hammock downstairs as I work from home and it's easier to have her in the same room as me, this has worked well so far. We have tried to have her overnight sleep in our bedroom but it's been a disaster as she's terrible at night and we figure there's no sense both my husband and I getting no sleep, so we bring her back downstairs where one of us stays up with her at night.

I was just wondering where your LO sleeps for their 7pm 'nap', because since this is technically their bedtime then the room should be dark and quiet so that effectively rules out the downstairs. But if we put her to sleep upstairs, does that mean one of us has to sit up there with her to watch her all the time? My husband and I haven't been able to spend two seconds together to just talk to one another since LO has been born because in the evenings we try to be quiet so LO can sleep because she's right there in the room with us.

Just wondering how your early evenings sleeps work - thanks!

Why would one of you have to stay upstairs with her? I think you should get a baby monitor, you can get one with a video thing too.
Mine (8 weeks old) goes down around 7pm -10pm in his own room (we live in a flat, his room is only about 3 seconds walk from the living room so we can hear him easily when he cries), and I love those 4 hours - I get to eat, chat to OH, and of course, waste time on MN.

Sometimes he won't sleep in his room though, and ends up asleep in his pram in the living room with us, which is not dark or quiet! But he sleeps just as well in his bedroom as the living room.

When DS started falling asleep all evening (about 8 weeks-ish I think) we started putting him upstairs in his big cot in his room. When I fed him at 10ish he came into our bedroom in the crib for the rest of the night. We left him alone upstairs with the monitor on and it was fine.

DS was in moses basket in living room with us till we went to bed. If there is noise when he falls asleep he can sleep through it. If it is silent when he falls asleep a small noise will wake him. Like you we didn't want him in room by himself till he was older but if you and DH are being separated at night then maybe you will have to put him in own room with monitor.

I feed my 10 week old to sleep and then put him in my bed (we cosleep). I don't need to stay with him. I have fairy lights over the curtain pole in my room and they give me enough light to see him in the night. He sleeps far better in there than if he's in the living room with us, even in our arms. He often wakes up, sees he's in bed and will happily gaze around for 10 or so minutes before going to sleep. No need for us to stay with him. Up until a few weeks ago though he was either just asleep in our arms, or in the carrycot of his pram (Bugaboo, used instead of a moses basket for naps) I've never had a hammock, and with good reason i suppose as my babies tend to be chunky monkies. I would be worried even at 10 weeks that my ds would roll out (I have no idea if thats possible btw so don't take any notice of me).

[jealous] DD didn't have a 7pm nap - she had a feedathon instead. But at about 8-9 weeks we started putting her moses basket in her bedroom in the evening as the lights in the living room were keeping her awake and grumpy. We were in a flat though, so she was only next door. We still brought her into our room when we went to bed, so we were only actually apart for an hour or so once feeds were taken into account.

We never stayed too quiet on her account though. We still tried to do things at normal volume.

DD, 7wks, sleeps in her Moses basket, in our room, with a monitor. It's not a nap though, it's bedtime. She goes up about 7.30pm.

Come 4 weeks I was ready to establish 'bedtime' and so we'd do a bath, boob, bed routine. Putting him in a moses basket in our room. Personally, I needed some time out to recoup, chat to DH and physch myself up for night ahead and next day!

Once the lights started to bother him when we came to bed (at about 4 months from memory) we moved him to his own room. Coincided with him outgrowing moses basket.

Are you saying that one of you is up with her all night? At this age they still don't know night from day and so it's important to instill 'nightime cues' - no talking, low lights etc. Sounds harsh, but it does help them start to understand a different between day and night. Daytime being more cheery, talkative etc.

Also, why do you need to watch her? Just go and check every half an hour or so. I know that when they're so tiny you just want to watch them, but they're resillient and some time apart is healthy. honest! x

My LO has her last feed 8 ish, goes to sleep about 9 and thats the last we hear from her until about 5.30, we have never been quiet around her during her day time sleeps and consequently she could sleep through an earth quake, we struggled to get her to sleep in her moses basket at first but solved that by using one of my t shirts as a sheet for a while, now we just wait till shes asleep put her to bed and leave her, using the monitor and the odd potter in and out of the bedroom until we are ready for bed ourselves

I've a similar issue (see my thread about bedtime routines).

LO is asleep on my lap as I type, with the kids watching TV in the background (like candr, more noise is better). Her routine is bath (every other night) at 7.30ish, nappy/clothing change (she's still too small for a gro-bag), feed during which she falls asleep. I then can't move because she wakes up. Sometimes DH can put her down (but she'll generally wake 30mins later).

Another feed when she demands, around 10pm, then she sleeps in our bed till 6am (with a feed at 2.30 on a good night, or 2 hourly if a bad night).

Unfortunately we've not been able to get her to self-settle or sleep on her own. She's 12weeks.

On a slight aside, if your baby is having a 7pm nap - wacko, turn that in to bedtime. As a couple of posters have said, and as I found, its often cluster feed time until much later.
If you are the kind of couple who need a little down time from the day, then embrace that moment to have a bedtime of sorts. You don't need any big routine about it, but that is really good news.
So yes would follow the advice already given about putting down to sleep in their night time room.

I thought that the SIDS advice was to have them in the same room as you when they are sleeping. My 12 week dd is currenly asleep next to me on the sofa, I find that once she has got to sleep then we don't need to worry about noise to much, as long as there are no sudden loud bangs she sleeps through most things. In fact I was told that it's good to have noise about when they are new born as the womb is a pretty loud place so they aren't used to silence.

We do tend to turn the lights down and just have a lamp on and also we have her white noise music on for a while (but this is music dh mixed and is actually rather nice), after 20 mins or so we turn it of and can sit about watching films or chatting should we want to.

Sleep in the same room as you when YOU are sleeping. It is OK to be seperate for a while. That's if you want to, obviously.

If you're happy to have them with you 24/7, great. Personally, I welcomed some non-baby time whilst having the monitor on and checking regularly.

The SIDS studies say sleep should be in same room as an adult all the time, not just at night - eg the Blair et al 2006 study said,
"Lone sleeping was found to be an important risk factor for day as well as night-time deaths (75% of day-time deaths occurring in this environment)"

from www.isisonline.org.uk/hcp/research_evidence/research_summaries/2005-2009/

OP, we're struggling with this too! Would be interested to see any replies which take the above into account. Having to try & stay quiet in the evenings is a pain isn't it.

WOW. Sort of glad I didn't know that. Yet more guilt for choosing to trust my instincts.

Yeah, it is pretty sucky makes me well paranoid when doing housework and whatnot.

I sort of compromise most of the time by putting Radio 4 on (in the hope she won't go into the dangerous deep sleep where SIDS is more of a risk) and popping back to check her in between hanging up the washing and so on.

DS2 (nearly 9 weeks) is just hanging out on my knee doing the cluster feeding thing. i think DS1 did the same. we just take him through to his crib when we go to bed.

in the living room he either sleeps on us or in a wee mini travel cot thingie if he decides to stop feeding for a minute.

i can't really remember when DS1 started going through to bed on his own