Would You Do Anything Differently 2nd Time Around?

[Piemistress]

Ok, so DC2 is due in a couple of weeks. DC1 was not the best of sleepers at all until about 9 months as we got into some bad habits ie/ feeding to sleep, using white noise, rocking, hair dryer (!), kitchen fan (!) etc etc. We eventually addressed the issue using SleepSense (which looks very cheesy online but really worked but did involve CC in the end)

I would like, in theory, to avoid any props for the start (ha, I say that now when I'm not sleep deprived and will do anything for some kip!)

Anyway, I was just wondering if there was anything do differently second time around to maybe help baby be a better sleeper and be able to self settle from earlier on?

Good idea - but best laid plans and all that!

I have been even more 'bad habit' inclined with my second as she was very refluxy and windy. By the time her tummy had settled down she was 5 months and that was when I should've got Ito good habits but I didn't.

Don't plan! If your baby is easy then try and do everything right. If a bit trickier then do what you need to. It's never too late to make changes ......

Now, if I had a third.....

Good luck

I know! There were times when I would be there with the hair dryer at 2am thinking WTF am I doing?!! This time I am also worried that crying baby will wake DS ( v.small house). At least second time round I know it's jus a phase that will eventually pass!

Yes - know that - our flat is tiny and we didn't move dc1 to a different room for ages so I was terrified of baby waking toddler.... But I loved just going with the flow - slings, feeding all evening, white noise etc with my second - til she started waking hourly! But that was nearer 6 months.

I was just like you - hoping for tips to help avoid it second time round. Hope you get some.

I'd say if you can bear to let baby cry itself down a little (and it works quickly) then great - try and do it. But you can't control those protective hormones and I found it even harder second time round (hearing her cry)..... Plus she was trickier than I could have predicted.

I ended up taking DS for cranial osteopathy which did make a difference (he had a horrible failed forceps delivery and was very badly bruised) and she said he was probably having constant headaches which won't have helped and his spine was out of alignment causing the trapped wind, colic etc.

Sorry, I digress!! I am so desperate to avoid another bad sleeper I haven't touched any coffee at all this pregnancy!!

I guess what will be, will be although DC2 will be in our room until he/she is pretty much sleeping through as will be sharing a room with DS.

CC did work for us in the end when DS was 9 months and it took 3 nights, worst case scenario I guess is we have to do that again [dread]

I am in almost exactly same situation. DS1 didn't sleep a night through until 14months (cc).
Interesting re. the cranial osteopathy. DS had a very sore head after failed ventouse 8 (?!) fetal blood samples from his head and then a lot of reverse pushing to pop him out via csection :S. He wouldn't wear hats or have his head touched for a good while and was also very colicy perhaps silent reflux too....

My main plan this time is to rely on the fact that most people don't seem to have too high needs/horror sleepers in a row!
I do think I'll leave baby a tiny amount of time to cry down if needed too. I think DS was often overtired and maybe I should have allowed him a bit of a wind down cry...he still seems to need that now. Also hoping DS1 being in a routine will mean DS2 will more naturally be led towards a routine too although that might be wishful thinking.

Lurking with interest. What do you mean by wind down cry?

From what i've read lots of babies would benefit from cranial osteopathy. It was quite amazing to watch her (DS hated it initially when she touched his head) and one miniscule movement would result in him expelling lots of his trapped wind!

pickled wind down crying (I think) is when they start off initally upset at being put down but then it goes down to more of a grumble and a moan rather than a cry and then they fall asleep, like it's part of them settling themselves.

The wind down crying thing I read about in a Rachel Waddilove book which a lot of my friends liked (I read the previewable bits online!) and basically I think the idea is sometimes you need to recognise that baby needs a little 5 minute shout before they transition to rest/sleep.

I think I sometimes would try too hard to stop my DS crying - cuddles/carrying around etc. (which didn't necessarily stop him crying in any case) and that maybe allowing him to cry for a few minutes in his moses basket whilst staying with him maybe keeping a hand on him/shushing might have been a better way to help him sleep. As it was DS1 didn't really sleep and if eventually he fell asleep feeding as soon as his head touched the mattress he would start screaming again and I'd pick him up straight away :S

Good to know about that cranial osteopathy Piemistress I'd definitely try it if in the same situation again!

This is going to make you throw things at me, but actually we're aiming to do everything exactly the same because DS1 is such a good little sleeper! Although I do think DS2 will be in our room for much longer than DS1 was; eventually they will be in the same room but I am terrified of messing up DS1's sleep schedule

We didn't do anything too radical IMO. During the day, we got into a habit of following a checklist:
1)is he hungry? feed him
2) is it nappy? change it
3) is he giving sleepy signs and has it been a while since he last slept? yes
4) walk him around until nearly asleep (important) and then put him down in cot/crib.
5) give him a chance to self-settle for 10 min and go back to repeat checklist if he hasn't gone to sleep by then. It only took a few days for him to be able to go down within 5 min or less.

I feel quite strongly that he was happier being able to compose himself to sleep, as it gave him some control in his tiny baby world and he always woke up far more cheerful. Plus as he got older (around 3mo) he would become actively furious at us for continuing to hold him - it became quite clear that any stimulation (even cuddles) was not required and kept him awake.

During the night, we kept interaction minimal (no eye contact, talking, lights off etc) and after the feed/nappy change he was put straight back in crib/cot. If he fussed then we walked/rocked him for a bit (say 15 min, until his breathing was regular again) and then put him down again. I think he realised day and night were different things pretty quickly and so that may have helped later on too. He's now 1yr old, sleeps for 12 hours each night and rarely wakes properly (i.e. aside from brief 'where am I' noises and then the sound of him re-settling).

DS2 is due in 6 weeks and will doubtless respond entirely differently to identical treatment, thus confirming that it's all down to what the baby decides to do at the time nevertheless, hopefully some of that will be helpful!

Thanks Herrena, ever since we did CC with DS he has been a great sleeper and the thought of the two of them sharing a room scares me! When we put him to bed now he sometimes plays with his teddies quite happily for over half an hour before falling asleep (however, he is now in a bed so does get up in the morning at 6.30am and tries to wander around his room in the pitch dark!).

We moved DS into his own room at 3 months but DC2 will stay in our room until at least 6m+ I think. DS really needs his sleep as he is at nursery and has started to drop the off nap (boooo).

I think the main thing I will try to do second time around is to not prop them so that they are actually asleep when being put in the crib but, as you said, get them drowsy so that they are aware they are being put down but are able to self settle themselves somehow. I do vaguely remember a bit of a milestone when DS found his thumb at about 3 months.

This baby could be totally different as you say, who knows!!!

DS2 is almost 8 weeks old and so far I'm just sticking to the same as last time and going with the path of least resistance.

DS1 was fed and/or cuddled to sleep for as long as it worked and is fine at sleeping. we added a simple story before bed routine when he was older, but that was about it.

DS2 crying at night doesn't seem to wake him so far.

no idea how we'll get on once the baby is older, but the not trying too hard and just going with it suits me as a lazy person!

also i don't like crying methods and am too soft anyway!

agree the thumb made a difference- with DS1 it was about 9 weeks. DS2 not quite figured it out yet...